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(This is a Fictional Story)
I didn’t think it would come to this but, here I am
looking out the window of a Café shop we used to
go to.
Watching you sit outside on a bench in the park on such
a lovely day the sun is out and,the sky is a nice bright blue with fluffy clouds floating around.
And you’re lost in a book but,not just any book the book I brought you for your birthday
last month.
You know the month I found out you were sneaking around talking to another girl behind my back.
I know I should confront you and, make you pay for what you’ve done to me and my hopes that this time would be different with you.
But, instead I’m here watching you waiting for the moment when she will show up and, then all I have to do is run out and catch you in the act.
And,so I wait and I wait and what seems like minutes turn into hours and then when I’ve given up hope.
That she will show up what I see walking towards you isn’t a she at all but a he.
He sits down and you smile at him and you two talk and, then a little black box is exchanged between you too.
When he turns away from you, I realize his my brother and clearly you’re going to propose to me.
Now all I can do is stop and stare and, I realize Ash was short for Asher and not Ashley.
I want to run to my car and pretend this never happened but, when I look up again you’re gone and when I get ready to leave.
You’re standing right in front of me and you know what I thought and you know I’m ashamed.
But you don’t hold it against me, with a smile on your face you get down on one knee and you propose.
All I can do is stop and stare at the ring that represents our love and, slowly but surely say yes.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Free Flow Fridays with Laura the topic was-Stop-and-Stare
So well written. You said a lot in a few lines.
Thank you!
Really neat twist. I love that he knew. Can I be a grammarian and offer some constructive criticism? The splitting up of sentences mid sentence is a little distracting and takes away from the loveliness of the plot. Sometimes you prematurely use a period when the thought is not supposed to be over and sometimes it’s with a new paragraph. “Hope’s”is plural , not possessive showing ownership so there is no apostrophe needed. When “but” or “and”joins two complete ideas you need to use a comma before it. These will help make your reader pause and connect together the proper ideas and made the effect of your sentences stronger. Love the content!!!
Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed the piece. And thanks for the advice.