If I’m being honest

I’m still fighting to be a better me, but I’m letting God take most of the load.

As I sit in peace and slowly smile again, my life begins to fall back to the ground in one piece again.

For the last couple of days, I felt like I was an ocean apart from my thoughts and feelings.

And I had to stop and pray and reflect and pray more.

When it was all said and done, I felt not alone and wrapped in God’s love and presence.

And no doubt or desperation was eating at my soul.

I knew what I needed to do, and in that moment, was to trust my Savior and see this month of October would be a good one full of hope and growth.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2023 By Deirdre Stokes


When it storms

It pours and the rain is coming down

And I feel like I am being pulled in many directions as the wind blows left than right.

I don’t know how to feel as everything falls upon me.

And the branch knocks me out, and the life I fell into is the one I’ve been searching for, but now what?

Do I get to keep this life that feels so good and positive, a life that is full for me and everyone around me?

All those things that used to stop me in my tracks are gone, and now the storms don’t bother me anymore.

As I walk into this world, knowing myself and loving myself is my truth.

And when the doubt or harsh words of others are thrown at me.

I smile, for I know where they used to be, and one day, they might be where I am if they just let go and embrace the unknown.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2023 By Deirdre Stokes



Can be light and so freeing

Like the breeze of air flowing into your life, like a lovely day in the fall, sometimes life can seem so dark, like the night.

You told me to keep quiet for who knows what’s lurking in the shadows.

But my voice is like a bird. Sometimes, it can’t be silent to protect those who play the victim card all the time out of fear of being turned in because they’re always looking for a way to blame others for the problems they don’t want to face.

To be silent again feels like being that little girl who had a voice but was too afraid to speak up for fear of others turning on her.

But I’m not that little girl anymore, and I won’t go back to the past where her voice didn’t matter.

For I know her voice matters and so does mine.

So, where do we go if we can’t say what needs to be told in this place anymore?

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2023 By Deirdre Stokes


I don’t

Want to wait around for something to happen.

I’m tired of feeling like I’m the only one they can relay on.

When do I get my break?

Before I break down and become useless, too?

I can’t trust you anymore, for lies pour out your mouth like a waterfall.

Leaving me angry and annoyed

But who am I to complain when I’ve known for a while who you are and what you do!

So here I am, tossing and turning, but sleep will not come, and yet again, a long night awaits me.

To dislike you is my truth because hate is a strong word, and you are not strong enough to deserve it.

One day, I won’t look back and wonder whatever happened to you, for I’m sure you will still be playing the same games as before I left.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2023 By Deirdre Stokes


Oh god

Why have I been fighting you on what to do?

Because I tried it my way, and I burned out

All that was around me was darkness, and yet I still stumbled around like a fool.

Only to see when I came out, you were there with light to guide me in a new way.

And yet, I stubbornly still tried to do it my way.

Only to end up not doing much of anything

And then the light bulb went off, and I realized the things I could do were because they were what you needed me to do.

The only way I could overcome this hurdle was to let you guide me.

So here I am doing what feels right and what you want, and now it’s what I wish for, too. And this way, I will get it all, but only when you say it is due.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2023 By Deirdre Stokes


Like the storm

Raging outside I want to be someone you remember.

I want to step into your life like a storm that blows out all the things you thought you knew.

I want to brighten up all the darkness and anger in your life.

I want you to smile and embrace me as I deliver you from the hell you grew used to.

And I want to walk you into a life that feels like heaven, and sometimes it will rain, but letting it all out is the only way to survive this life I see us in.

So please give me a chance, and I promise I won’t hurt you, and when I give up, you will know I gave my all, for it is not easy for me to wave my white flag.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2023 By Deirdre Stokes

My thoughts

I’ve been thinking

What makes us lack confidence and bring down our self-belief to the point we no longer take risks or have leaps of faith when a great opportunity comes into our lives?

Did something happen to lower our confidence, and are we still holding on to past trauma?

And how do we overcome it?

Would meditation help?

How about journaling our moods daily and how we’re feeling help?

Or maybe expressing ourselves through poetry brings out those vulnerable moments and finally sets us free?

Or is it something we have to seek help for?

What do you do when you lack confidence but have the drive to say I want more, and I know I can’t get it if I don’t have the confidence or the self-belief that I’m good enough to do it?

All these questions keep running through my mind as I step into a new me, but I am still trying to shake my old thought process.

You won’t know how good you are until you do the thing you’re hesitating about, for the first step is just the beginning.

I used to lack so much confidence and self-belief that I relied on others to Validate who I am and what I stand for. But then I worked with a coach who broke down every wall I put up in my life and I found my voice and my inner child and adult self wanting to break out and voice their opinions and show the world they matter and that they are here to stay.

I know my journey isn’t over, and I still sometimes want to hide or stop when things get hard, but I know I’m meant to do more and help others, too.

I would love to know how you ladies or gentlemen handle lacking confidence or self-belief. Or if you would like to answer any of the many questions above?

I’m currently doing meditation to center myself and enhance my creativity, and I’m journaling, praying, and taking baby steps to complete the goals I set for this year.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2023 By Deirdre Stokes


Behind the wall

I used to hide my true self as the gem so beautiful that only a few will ever truly meet her.

The girl who was scared to break free when she had something to say

But now that girl is a woman who speaks her mind, for she is tired of being treated like she doesn’t matter or her time isn’t as precise as the rest.

She doesn’t continue to sit on the sidelines and just be silent when she has something to say because you’re too scared to step out of line, for he doesn’t want to be punished.

But how long do you want to stay silent?

I’ve allowed myself to be kept behind those walls out of fear and lack of confidence.

But no more, I matter, and my voice will be heard whether you like it or not because you should be considered for others for once in your life. Because I’m tired of making excuses for you, you smile and move on.

I’ve had enough, and the thing is, there is no way to put me back in that wall, for the power of my voice coming out of me is too powerful for me to stay silent ever again.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2023 By Deirdre Stokes



I want to thank you, Lord

When I think I don’t know what to do next

You show me just what I need, and the peace and your love guide me.

I can’t help but smile and move through my day as if I’m floating on air.

To feel so free and right and know that if someone steps in my way, I will sidestep them and keep moving.

For I am unstoppable now, and I don’t want to go back as I let go of the last couple of days and just enjoy this day.

A day wrapped in your warmth and love, and I know this is the start I needed to come back stronger and wiser than before.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2023 By Deirdre Stokes


Making connections

It’s the way we were made

And sometimes, it can be wonderful to laugh and talk with people who relate to you.

To have an unexpected connection is excellent as you get to know someone you didn’t think you would end up bonding with.

The feeling of being happy to see them

And knowing that feeling is mutual

And connecting and still not agreeing on the same things but still coming back and talking some more.

Sometimes, heads are butted, and we feel unheard or dismissed, but sometimes, we get in our feelings because it’s harder to trust and keep friends at some point in life.

So authentic connections sometimes are rare, and when you find one, you want to hold on for dear life for you get to the point where you see through the people who are nice to you to know your business and then toss you to the side when they feel better comes along.

We still crave connection, but we become more guarded sometimes; we throw it all to the wind and let fate and destiny take the wheel as we risk putting ourselves out there. Sometimes, it pays off, and your fairytale friendship is born.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2023 By Deirdre Stokes