Month: August 2019

Poetry

Is it me

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 Who has to step up

And make the final decision.

Only a couple of months left in the year

And yet it feels like enough time to make a mark.

So many emotions going around that I don’t know

what to listen to my heart or my gut.

The days feel like they are flying by and the situation that I am in don’t seem that great but I fight on with hope to come and win it all.

No more uncertain moments or questions

It’s now or never and right now I’m so ready to leap into this new destination

With nothing but faith that it will all workout for me.

 

 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I can’t do

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this anymore the feeling of just holding it all inside

is killing me slowly but, yet I don’t want it all out in the open

for anyone to hear.

I know that my words will not do anything and so I say quiet and complain to the ones that are close to me and let everything else in life just fade away and not worry about the tomorrow’s for there is no way of knowing how it will workout.

For I Just close my eyes and let it all fall around me and maybe some things will stick and others will just keep falling through the cracks.

I know that it is a time for change and it is a time to figure it all out for the answer isn’t going to come to me if I just sit here and worry or wander what could happen if I just dont step out and ask for help and then do it.

No worries about the things I seem to not be able to afford for when the time comes it will all work it’s self out.

If I don’t go all in now I will never just take that next step and I will never know if this situation could help all my other problems with one clean swipe.

I guess I never will know the answer if I just sit around with the finish product right next to me and just hope someone else will stumble into me and just happen to read some of it.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Knowing that

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everything  has been leading up to this moment.

Feels tiring and exhausting.

I all I can think about is going to bed and not having to deal

but there is just one more day that I have to get through before.

I am free from the demands and the headaches and everything

that is continually falling on my shoulders everyday and week.

As if I am just so strong that nothing will or can break me but that is not

how I feel or how my body feels.

To be glad that tomorrow is Friday and I just have to get through the day to taste the freedom that is ahead of me feels so damn good.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Light me up

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like a candle on a night when the power goes out.

Turn me down like the volume on your phone as you listen to your favorite song.

Wine me up like a music box playing a tune you haven’t heard in such a long time.

Hug me like your favorite childhood toy or stuff animal and never let me go even when I’ve been around for too long.

Put me in album with all your old pictures of things that may not be around anymore for when you just need a reminder of what  you had or just need something to smile about again.

Remember me even when you don’t need me around anymore and even though I don’t know why, I will be okay with you decision in time.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

What am

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I to say when your words have turned the warmth inside of me into ice.

It’s hard for me sometimes to see the light in the day when all I hear is the words of someone who doesn’t see the real problem in this situation.

So many complaints and suffering  going all around and yet no one sees the truth is right in front of them.

There is not just one reason the place is falling apart but there have become more cracks and those cracks are not getting smaller but are getting wider  and wider as the days go on.

I don’t hold on to anything these days and I can’t be mad at your words or care about the drama you want to bring for my head and my heart are already out the door.

I am physically in the building but mentally I have checked out and I am just moving to the beat of the robot I have become to get the job done.

But who I am and what I want to be is not here and the minutes and days are counting down until I too can be free physically from this place that tries so many times to steal what makes me, me and at the end of the day it’s I who has to answer to the call of being stressed out about whatever it is they want.

To be their puppet and robot is truly taking a toll on me and I hope just one day things will change for the better as soon as I find the break I need to escape and walk way from something that never really needed to be in my life this long.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Oh wow look

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 100 Word Wednesday: Week 135

Image by Cyranny

 at those stairs how crazy would it be to walk on them, like life sometimes things can get all twisted up.

And you just can’t seem to find your way out of the mess that you never really wanted in the first place.

But here you are struggling to make things right again but every move you make things get shuffled around and before you know it your dealing with another complicated situation with no solution insight.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Oh wow look!

Poetry

I didn’t

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except today would be going this way

as the temperature has dropped and the weather is so nice out.

But, there is a storm breaking out inside as the load of work starts piling up.

It feels as if the walls are closing in and nothing good is going to come forth.

The battle to make things right are not  panning out and even though you can feel your body getting weak you push on because you know so much has to be done.

No luck with the things that can be done at this point for all you can hope for is that maybe things will get better in the end.

But, maybe it won’t for change is coming but is it for good or is it just something that will rock the boat a little or will things just not pan out all together.

I know that the stress is back and right now I just want to jump ship and not worry about the mess left behind for I don’t want to be part of this crew anymore.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I couldn’t

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Imagine you coming back again

at if so not to talk to me.

I know that we had a past and now we

each of our own futures to look forward too.

And I’m happy living in this present even with the more downs then ups

but isn’t that the way life is the struggle is on and to learn you have to get through

and even when you want to give up and walk away.

You don’t because if you did would there be actors or movies or songs being written

for I’m sure everyone has had that moment of feeling not good enough and were tired of submitting work and no one liking it at all.

It’s time to just get up and get it done because if no one sees what you have done how will they know it’s worth trying or reading or doing.

It’s time to stop saying I’ll do it tomorrow

as if you are even promised tomorrow.

We human think that we have a schedule ahead of us so there is no way I’m not going to be apart of the plan in front of me.

That I will live another day or week or month or even year.

There is no clear plan of what is going to happen or what is not going to happen.

But, we can live to our best moments and time and just hope that we keep waking up each day with hope and faith to complete something new.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

What is

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going on right now as everything seems to be falling apart

No matter how hard I’ve tried to keep on top of everything there is always something

that falls through and no matter how much I try to keep on top of things I feel like I was alone in the fight.

And  even when the list of things to do becomes too much I know there is only a few that will help.

While the rest will just demand it be done quicker for they think you can do the impossible because you’ve worked so hard to get to this point  in your life.

It almost feels like I am Cinderella and no matter how hard I’ve tried to fit in or at least be invisible it just doesn’t work out.

Just when my luck is up and it feels like my fairy God mother is about to grant my wish it all comes burning down because it takes a team to get through it all no matter how much luck I have.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes