I don’t want to get back up again like lying in a cold pool of water

And knowing I should get up and not let myself get too cold, but I don’t

For sometimes I just need to feel it all and then let it all out before I get back up again.

And show the world you can throw so much at me, but I will get up even if each time it may take longer for me to get back up again.

Sometimes you are the one pushing me down when things look too good for me, and you feel things need to be stirred up.

So, you throw me off my game and throw me down in the dirt where you spend most of your days.

Sometimes I want to give up but then you tell me not to because I still have so much more to give.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes


To lie

Or tell the truth

I feel lying takes up too much time, as you must produce a story and stick to it.

And is lying worth the trust you lose from those that matter?

Is it worth the guilt you may feel later when something terrible happens?

Or do liars not worry about karma?

So much to think about, and that’s why I tell the truth.

Sometimes little wounds turn into more significant injuries when you keep picking at them.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes


Inside my mind

There is so much to say

But will it make things better

Or will it make things so much worst?

I’m not ready to ruin the peace and the silence as I feel so good.

It feels like I’m floating on a cloud of satisfaction, and the temptation of ruining something so good is high, but for the first time, I don’t want to sabotage this.

I know I will surely regret it, and I’m tired of regretting things.

I hear you coming near, and I know I’m out of time, and right now, I have to decide if I want to be on good terms with you.

Or do I want to ruin the good things we have going on to spare myself the pain later on?

Inside my mind, it all plays out, and for the first time, I don’t say what’s on my mind, as right now, self-doubt is running high.

And now, with you near and I can see the truth and feel you, I know everything will be okay.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes


To just be

Alone with myself, a nice cup of tea would be nice.

As I relax with lavender flowing all around me and I feel everything around me melt away.

I begin to see that I have accomplished so much and that this moment of doubt will pass too.

And as I allow myself to be wrapped around in a feeling of peace and acceptance, I walk into today with great hope.

Know that my fear can hold me back, or it can push me forward until the fear is no more.

And I have finished something I put off for so long, and it turns out it wasn’t as hard as I made it to be.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes


Not in

The mood as I feel the darkest winning today

And my words are not lovely but ugly and wrong, and my frustration is intense.

Not in the mood to deal with the things that make me strong and happy.

I’m not in the mood to do much, but I know I’m grateful to be alive today.

And as my negatives slowly become positives again, I realize I’m moving backward, not forward.

And I don’t want that as I’ve worked so hard to improve, for I am my number one priority.

And yet I allowed my mood to set me back, and now I must reflect and refocus on what I want.

For I know, other than God, no one is fighting as hard as I am to stay on the right track and become who I am meant to be.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes


I too

felt alone once and now I am dead and as I knelt behind you for the first time in a long time, I realize how good I had it.

Now I am always alone and for some reason I don’t want you to end up like me.

So go back to shore where it is safe and the girl that hurt you will be there, but you must walk past her and leave her in your past.

For today I saved you so that your future could be better, and I am no longer alone as I am now at peace and as I fade from this spot.

I can only hope I have made a difference for you, and you will always understand your dark moments will not last and you will be back surrounded by light.

Like me, the light took me from my darkest moment and released me from my pain and sorrow.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes