My Instinct is telling me that you’re not to be trusted
as I stand there and stare you down.
You smile your creepy smile at me and just expect I fall for you
But my instincts are telling me to get as far away from you as possible.
Just seeing you made me feel a chill wash over me.
I walked away quickly that day for I trusted my instinct that the situation wasn’t going to go the way I wanted.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
I immerse into the water to get away from it all.
To relax just for a little while
For my thoughts to just go to blank.
And for my body to release the tension and just let the peace come over me for I so
needed this as the stress overwhelms me to no end.
I sink under for a minute admire the things above the water I take for granted
As I get out the water that day, I became a new person the person I had been trying to release for so long.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
By the light as the day begins
and my thoughts try to become something but, still trapped inside my mind which is still asleep.
The day begins so cold that not even a hot cup of tea can wake me up.
Yet somehow I move around throughout the day with so much purpose.
Not feeling tired again until I sit down to relax at the end of another busy day.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
grip on my heart as the sad feeling of life is changing
and even though I’m going in a great direction.
There are things that feel like I’m leaving them behind
and that makes me feel so sad.
Some things have made such a big impact that letting them fade away
just seems so hard but the truth is they are already disappearing, anyway.
I don’t want to let go, but it’s so hard to walk away and give up on something I have
yet to finish.
I’m finding myself even when I have to the time to not even want to hold on or try because it’s not the right time or I just don’t want to.
But, I know sooner or later I’m going to have to make a decision and I just don’t think I’m ready for it now.
Maybe next week or a month from now but in the end I will have to walk away and find something else to full my time with.
Not every goal or dream is something worth holding on too in the end.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
So many moments in life I wish I had recorded
so I could go make a rewind them over and over again.
To play them on repeat like a favorite song that I crave to hear.
I wish I had recorded my moments of you before you were gone
for our time was limited from the beginning and now all I have are
a few recording but I wish I had more.
More of you smiling and laughing about dumb things or just moments that
were important to us at the time.
Recording you was one of my favorite things
for the light that always shined around you in photos and videos always
amazed me and left me with a smile on my face.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
It happens to us all when we don’t have a lot time to explain something
Or we grow nervous about something.
I wasn’t prepared to be put on the spot and so my words came out all out-of-order
and I wasn’t as prepared as I should have been.
The question wasn’t one I thought to add to the list and in the end I was put to the test
and the results were not the best.
But, I hoped I would still making an impression when I just kept going and didn’t stop even when I hesitated a little bit.
I shake their hands and went on my way even with the little voice inside my head repeating my mistake.
I had to be strong and no that nothing would bring me down in the end.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
I stared at you trying to get something out of you but nothing came out
and so I walked away no knowing what you wanted to tell me.
But, I swear as I walked away I heard a soft murmur come out of you
but when I turned around all I saw was you looking away.
It didn’t understand how one moment you had so much to say then five minutes
later your staring at me as if I’m a ghost of the person you used to know not so long ago.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
You see my life is like a pattern
because no two paths I’ve been on before are ever the same.
I design my way through like with different thoughts and ideas
Some I let out and they create a great outlet for me.
But, some get stuck inside my head to end up disappearing before they can breathe the light of day.
So many of my mistakes are on a pattern of endless loops that just end up at the same place.
Because sometimes even when I go a different way I end up making the same mistake and just maybe the mistake isn’t as bad as before.
For I catch myself in the act and so before I have completely done it, I retract my steps and go a different way or think of another way of reacting.
I hope one day my quilt of the patterns of my life leads to a happy ending and someone else can look at the end result and learn from all that I have gone through and choice to do so many things differently.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
was nothing I could do that day as the words came out my mouth
but, for the first time in a long time I didn’t feel mad at myself and neither did I care.
I just never liked the feeling when someone brings me down even when I’ve done nothing wrong.
Maybe they think they are above me because of my flaws but I know the only way to kill their negativity is with kindness.
Because maybe they won’t feel bad that they treated someone who is human like a child or beneath them.
Because life has a way of showing you that you can’t keep treating people bad and think you will get away with it.
So as I calm down and put a smile on my face, I realize I am okay and that I’m great and no one can take that feeling away.
When I know I’m equal to everyone no matter where they are in their life.
Our situations will always be different but at the end of the day were all human trying to survive on the borrowed time.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
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