Tag: music

Poetry

Stories

mywords2228

100 Word Wednesday: Week 70

img_8716

Image by Bikurgurl

So many stories that are being told on those shelf’s and I’ve read them all and yet I need to read more to understand so much more about this thing called life.

It’s funny how when you get lost in a book that you are not thinking about learning anything in this book just wanting to get your mind off your troubles.

You start to grab at each word and connect to almost all the characters because someone has to have been through what you went through in your lifetime.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

image

Stories!

Poetry

I’ve been

mywords2228

used and abused by you for too long.

I’m like recycling to you for you just use and reuse me until you are satisfied.

My pain is your gain and at the end of the day, you are not trying to make things better for me.

I have so much to say but I won’t disrespect you.

They say he will deal with you and I hope he does soon.

For I deserve more than this and I’m tired of being mad and frustrated.

I’m just trying to do my best but right now my mind is blown from the lies you said to me.

I’m not a kid and I don’t take the bullshit anymore and I see right through your lies and I want to laugh in your face so bad.

You’re a snake and I’m about to make you regret you ever thought a battle against me would end well for you.

I come to win and I won’t leave until I’m satisfied even if that means you have to suffer more when I’m gone.

I won’t feel sorry for the mess I leave behind because you didn’t care what a mess you were making for me.

Use me and you will wish you never met me.

I can be the nicest person but, do me wrong and you will never see it coming.

I will forgive but, I won’t forget and I will replay it to my advantage.

I’m trouble and you thought the problems you had before were bad but the truth is I’m worst than any natural disaster for when I destroy there is no coming back.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

image

Poetry

Trying

mywords2228

to block it all out as the noise is just too much for me.

I used to enjoy these moments but nothing I do now makes me found them even pleasant.

I try to block out the thoughts of that place that robbed me of my happiness.

I know I can only survive if I stop letting it in and live like it doesn’t exist.

I no longer care for this place and so I’m running and when it’s time.

I will do what I have to do, not walk through those doors because of them.

I will walk in because I need something but, I will be free of them for good.

 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

image

Poetry

Why

mywords2228

is something I ask myself a lot lately like why are people so ignorant

why are they always so nasty and impatient.

and why do I care so much

Why do I not care anymore and why are things so much more peaceful now

No drama to care about

Why people depend on you so much and just depend that if you are reliable that you will drop everything for them.

I may be reliable but, I’m not about to give up my freedom and peace for you.

Why am I running away and why am I laughing and why am I moving up to better things.

And, why are you still looking towards me for help when I have finally moved on and no longer under your control.

I have to put my foot down and tell you that I’m not about to be pushed around anymore and that’s why I’m gone.

Like a ghost, I will haunt you now and then just to show you that the way you treat others isn’t’ right and hope you will get the message right.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

image

Poetry

I thought

mywords2228

I knew what I needed and the answer to my question just seemed to fall into place.

It felt right and peaceful

But, over time it all came so clear that this just wasn’t the answer I needed or wanted.

Too much pain and too much time seemed to be wasted here and I just couldn’t accept that this was my life.

The answers that I now seek to seem so lost and not coming anytime soon and I guess I have to accept that and expect something else to happen.

The worst moments just don’t seem to be getting any better for me right now, It’s like one kick just follows another.

Until I’m face down in the dirt and there always no one to lean out a hand and help me back up.

For they are on the ground taking their own kicks from the people who are always cruel and seem to have no regards for anyone but themselves.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

image

Poetry

I’m not

mywords2228

sure I can keep doing this as my head feels like it’s about it’s about to explore.

I didn’t work this hard for you to push me so hard that I’m completely falling apart.

I want to tell you off so many times but here I am just shaking my head because this is beneath ridiculous at this point.

No time to think just more stuff piled on me in hope that it will get better.

The quest seems to fall short and I just don’t know what to do now for this could have been someone’s else path but here I am living out what feels like a nightmare wide awake.

With no hope of it ending on a good note for the good things seem to pass me by at this point in my life.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

image

Poetry

I love you

mywords2228

Those words I haven’t heard in so long make them seem like some fairytale your grandparents used to tell you.

Those words spoken by the right person has you feeling like nothing bad could really touch you.

You know that the pain that waits for you some days would all not seem so bad if those words were spoken to you.

But, like a bedtime story as you grow up they are no longer needed to fall asleep and are soon forgotten.

You want more than anything to feel like if you disappeared someone would do all they could to find you.

If only to tell you that they love you just one more time.

You know there are some you used to say this too and now those words just don’t fit in your life anymore.

Like time has made them no longer acceptable in this situation.

You want to say those words so bad but at this moment who would be around to receive them.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

image

Poetry

Daily Prompt: Song

mywords2228

This song always helped me get through the tough times in my life, I just put in my headphones and listened to this song for hours and nothing could put me at peace like it could do.

It always felt like this song was written for me and no matter what I was going through it could relate to every moment and second.

I didn’t know what I would do if I didn’t have this song to listen to when the noise around me was just too much.

When the light just wouldn’t come on and all I could do was sit in the darkness and wish things would change for me soon.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

image

Daily Prompt: Song

Poetry

I don’t want

mywords2228

much just some of your time for I know that we are both very busy. 

And these times together are precious and right now I need them more than before, for I see what my future will hold. 

I know that it won’t last if I don’t give you time and calm my still hear for right now we may be going to two different directions and know that maybe there is no part in this path that we end up in the same place. 

I am okay with that for the time I get with you while I’m still here and you are living out your life. 

Both of us, trying to figure out what is going to work out and what is best to stop thinking about. 

But, right now were not stressing and we know that the end game is being able to stay true to ourselves and if we end up meeting up again then things will be great and we just can’t wait to see what life has on hold for us. 

I know that the moments I get with you are very few and well things just don’t seem to be giving more but, I’m happy with what God has given me so far and I won’t complain anymore I know it could be worst. 

I will see you someday on that path that leads you to a place that truly brings peace into your life. 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

image

Poetry

I want

mywords2228

to say that words are enough and well it just isn’t this time and no matter how many I write I know the way I feel just won’t go away. 

If I just get it all out maybe then things will seem so much lighter and maybe just maybe they will leave me alone. 

Will my questions ever be answered and will there be somewhere new to go to when this is all over. 

Will the path that I am on just go away once I move on to the right one for me to cross and travel on next. 

Will I look back on this day and realize that maybe all the answers were always around me but, I choose to ignore them for I just wasn’t ready to let it all go. 

For I can’t move on with the same stuff from before, everything new and everything old just can’t mix and match in this new place of peace and understanding for life is way too short not to have some tricks on one’s sleeves. 

 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

image

Poetry

Hopeful

mywords2228

that these stressful moments are just temporary for my mind cannot think straight and when the happens everything begins to fall apart.

The circus around me does not crease and the people demanding that the show does go on is not the ones that are trying to keep afloat in the end.

No one seems to want to care or they just don’t have the patience to wait but the truth is I don’t care anymore and I have given up on things changing.

I have to change in order for this to be clearer through their eyes, not mine, for I’m not the problem and maybe sometimes it’s not them either.

But, there are so many people involved with the whole thing that there is not just one finger to point out when it all comes down to the end.

Maybe things will get better but, I just don’t see that happen with me being around and so I’m removing myself from the equation that is always negative.

The positive solution is walking away and giving up on something that is already dead and there is no beating life back into it.

Hopeful to get away and not look back is something I look forward to one day or week or month but in the end, I will not look back and soon all the trouble will be forgotten.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

image

Poetry

It isn’t

mywords2228

me that is the problem and well I’m tired of being blamed for it. 

How much can one keep taking without screaming for all the ugly to go away? 

When will the good win and when will the bad of this world become a single digit. 

So many why’s and when’s that I just can’t seem to keep track of it all and so I sit here listening to a song that seems to relate to what’s going on with me or what’s going on around me. 

I don’t know how to solve the problem that I’m faced with right now, for I’ve gotten on my knees and I’ve prayed about it and I’ve waited and I’ve waited and still here I am repeating everything. 

Every day and no I have not yet given up but, I know one day I will wake up and the solution will be there and I will carry it out and maybe I won’t have to do it alone. 

But, today I stand strong and I look the worst in the eye and I tell it something that will blow it away. 

Or something that will make it right again and then the darkness around me will become a little lighter. 

One day at a time. 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

image

Poetry

Am I

mywords2228

Your friend or

Your enemy

Most days feels like someone is always mad and taking it out on me.

You want respect than you have to earn it but, in customer service, you have to give it regardless if they deserve it.

For I am no bigger and smaller than you on the scale of mankind, for we are all working towards something at the end of the day.

So let me treat you how I want to be treated and when you throw your nastiness at me I will ignore it and move on to the customer is always right.

For there is not a moment when I can show you that you are wrong without getting myself in trouble.

So will I be your kind hard-working person or will I be the enemy that you are tiring so hard to destroy?

Will you see it as an accomplishment when you are done with me or will you regret how nasty you were?

Will you cry or feel defeated about the matter when you are at home in a comfortable chair enjoying the rest of your night with your feet up and not a care in the world.

Maybe you will but, I know the minute you walk out that door I am not even a thought you care to think about and in the end, I don’t matter.

So if I am an enemy you won’t remember but, if I am kind to you and help you out that’s when you remember me.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

image

Poetry

I didn’t

mywords2228

even know what I was looking for when I stumbled into you that day.

I wasn’t looking and I wasn’t trying to fall for someone, in fact I wasn’t really interested in adding anyone new to my life.

I was happy with the people I had in my life and I just barely had time for them and now you walked in and pushed more space into my life because you wanted to be around.

You demanded my time and well I gave it to you and the little bits of time to myself became few.

And in that moment when I just felt overwhelmed because, I had so much coming my way that I just didn’t want to accept that this was the way my life was now and for good.

I couldn’t breath anymore because there was no moment where I just was with myself and could just relax and stop moving.

Time was moving by so fast that I realized I had wasted so much time but, not when it came to you.

But, the situation to fix my life had to start with me and well I have no clue how to save myself.

I didn’t stop to think that maybe you were the answers to all my questions and solutions if only I had asked you sooner.

Things would have been so much more different because, I wasted so much time not seeking your help where it counts in the end.

Maybe my story does end with a happy ending as long as I open up to you everything that seemed impossible will be possible for me from now on.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

image

Poetry

Eyes closed

mywords2228

aubin-a-sadiki-347339-unsplash

Photo by Aubin A Sadiki

I stand with my eyes close and just breathed in this moment of peace

the only moment I seem to be able to get these days.

I know that I may just fall apart the moment I open my eyes and so I’m holding on to the hope that I don’t have to open it anytime soon.

I know that I’ve held it all inside and just kept moving because that’s what they needed from me but right now I truly can’t move.

I’m paralyzed to this spot with my eyes closed for I fear they will keep using me until I have no energy left and I will be ruined and then who will want me.

I know the truth and as I stand here picturing the sweet moments when I would get a taste of freedom again.

The moment that my feet step out that door and I run for as long as I can keep going and I don’t stop even as I hear my voice being called over and over again.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

image