Tag: sunday

Poetry

May

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its me that is growing up and distancing  myself from you. 

Because I know that one day it will be me who just stop texting or calling. 

But, the truth is I know that you won’t notice if I stay or if I go and for that I know it won’t hurt us when the time comes. 

It’s time to live our life and maybe after knowing one another for so long  that there is no need for goodbye. 

Just the respect of knowing that the love we feel for each other will never decrease even if the thoughts and time together will not be the forefront of our minds. 

May we both keep growing as we continue to find ourselves and our place in this world as our lives continue to lead his on a path of unknown each and every day.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

I don’t

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want to stay

anymore and that’s okay.

Maybe not to you but, for me it is for I feel like all the things that have been thrown at me lately has made me so much stronger and wiser.

I need to let go and believe that there is a better place for me now.

No more anger or being pushed  to my limit day and night in this place.

I don’t know if you will ever understand but, this space is what is needed right now  because I want to breathe and feel the air on my face more than two days a week.

I want to walk with my head up high and know that I am doing what I deserve to do.

I am working hard for me and not for someone else because the end goal is all about me and that has all I ever been working for.

At the end I guess it doesn’t matter if you understand because this is my time and I won’t let your worries concern me anymore.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

Remember

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when we first met 

two people just trying to get through the day not  trying to make a friend. 

Then we shared a laugh and from then we became so close and connected. 

And there was no doubt in my mind that we would continue to be there for each other and we were.

There wasn’t a moment that I didn’t share with you and so you became more than a friend to me but you became another sister to me and looking out for you came second nature to me. 

So many moments spent together it was like life was good and we were riding on success with only little bumps here and there. 

And now we spend more time apart and the hole you left behind is small but it feels like I’m losing more oxygen everyday that it is left open. 

But, some how I stumble through life with a purpose and even though you are not a main part of my life anymore I am still working hard to do what I need and want to do. 

Maybe one day that hole will close up with either us talking again or me finally just letting go and appreciating the moments and lessons we learned together my sister. 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

Last

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Photo by Marc Schäfer on Unsplash

night I kept thinking about the things I needed to say but choose to keep them to myself.

As if that is helping me or you to know what is truly going on.

Maybe holding it all in isn’t really good because then you think you are not doing anything wrong at the end of the day.

When will you open your eyes and see what is really going on around you right now.

The time to be silent has past and I know that I may be taking a chance right now and maybe I’m just tired of writing it all down and no one knowing the truth.

So tomorrow everything will change and I don’t care how or who will look at me like I lost my mind.

For it is time to speak up or forever hold my opinion inside and I don’t think I can live another day suffering this way.

The stress is just too much for me and I don’t want to fall too soon because I didn’t speak out when I could save myself but others around me too.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

Waiting

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for that perfect break in the rain to come feels like a life time of decision.

You kind of want to just jump right in and not worry about the mess that could come next.

You don’t care if there is a chance you will get soaked because the waiting is killing you.

The want of just getting to the safety of your home from a long day at work is almost urging you into the streets.

But, you realize what is it your trying to get to in such a hurry?

When you get home you are just going to relax and curl up on the coach and watch a movie.

So is the risk really worth it at this point in your day.

Probably not, so let’s enjoy this moment and for once not hurry to get somewhere.

Because this moment may not come again and you don’t want to miss it.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

I

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stand for so much more than the girl you see in the window each day.

I am more than the woman you see at work.

The woman you see outside of work.

The woman you see standing in the rain.

The woman fighting the storms as they come from each direction in her life.

More than the woman who plays victim far too long.

To the woman who works so hard that retirement comes so much sooner for her.

To the woman who is always alone but not truly alone.

To the woman who sees there is more to this life she is living right now yet, she is still searching for more answers along the way.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

There

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Photo by Tom Grimbert (@tomgrimbert) on Unsplash

was always just one way to you and as I drove away from it that day I knew it would hurt and the amount of time it would take to get away would be so long.

Days and nights I thought of that road and how much I should just go back and be on that road on my way to you.

But, then the truth of that gray sky day comes back to me and I realize that you said those words without me pushing you to them.

You were the one who told me I was bother out there and staying on this road would do nothing for me and in the end I would resent you.

But, the truth was I resent you for sending me away not from saying staying would be a mistake.

For all I needed was for you to believe we could make it and maybe we would have but regret and resentment wouldn’t have been apart of her past or present or future that is to come.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

Something

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Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

we are taught to do

but don’t always practice because we see something that makes us judge one another.

And as you wonder should you give this person a chance for they are sometimes really nasty and unfair.

They play the victim too much and in the end you suffer for their lies and mistakes.

So you begin to question should I do what my God says for I am not in her shoes and it is best to love and accept that how she behaves shouldn’t change your beliefs.

To love her or him even when you know not what they may do next to you or the good people around you is the right thing to do and you should just let it be.

You are not the one she will answer to and you have said your words now just fall back and let God take the lead.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

I need

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a thicker skin for you shouldn’t be getting to me not now or ever.

I know what you are trying to do and I just know that things are coming for everyone else because you are evil.

I see the smile on your face when you make others do what you should be doing just to do less.

The end game is not good for you and yet you are standing here think this is it for me and no one will stand in my way.

You push and you pull and even though you feel you are doing the right thing even though you don’t really understand all that is going on around you right now.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

Your

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The only one that knows me inside and out.

Without you I feel like my smile would not be coming back.

My light inside of me would always be so dim and the things that make me who I am supposed to be.

I wouldn’t  have so much light bursting through me if I didn’t believe in you and myself.

You guide the way for me and I will gladly follow down a path that will out shine the others and always end with great understanding.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

I didn’t

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know that saying yes all the time would be so harmful for me.

Because later on the word no would be so much easier for me to say.

With no regret of not being able to help out.

I would resent that yes and the person behind it for I was doing too much all at once.

I was losing myself in the yes’s and I was letting down the people who really do matter.

I was no better than the yes I said so fast without thinking it through because  that yes was doing more harm than good.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

I don’t

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expect you to understand even though it seems like we’re going through the same things.

Yet, when you reach out I am there and when I try you don’t want to deal with the stress.

I feel like our friendship is like a two sides with your main course.

Both sides are delicious and great but, one side always wants to be in the spot light.

Instead of sharing and growing together, we end up growing apart and learning that we may have been letting a lot of things slide under the rug.

I just hope you will see that saying goodbye would be the best thing for us in the end.

Continue reading “I don’t” →

Poetry

Feeling

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like its time to stop worrying and start enjoying these moments in life that I have been blessed with.

Time to stop frowning and start smiling again and truly just feeling the joy that life has to offer for me.

Time to stop talking about the past but, focusing on the things I plan to do now in the present and hope will build my future up more.

Only the feelings of good times are pouring through me right now as I smile and walk away from the things I can not control and put them to rest.

So that I can wake up from the things that made me feel like it was more of a dream than reality coming at me.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

Even

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When I think I’ve come to the conclusion that there is no more steps to take.

No more words to be said

No more hugs to be given.

No more things to be shared or kept from one another.

That is when I know it is time to move on and yet there is a part of me that stayed even when the rest starts to resent everything about you.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

Like

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Photo by Viktor Paris on Unsplash

a flash of light

you were once in my life.

But, as quick as a blink of my eye

you were gone with not even a whisper good-bye.

I want to say that there are so many emotions going through me right now

but, there aren’t because we had drifted apart and yet for some reason I kept holding on.

I know how you are and I know that the bond we had is gone and it has been for sometime but, yet I didn’t know what to say even though I know I should have said something that day to you.

But, I didn’t want to, for some reason a part of me doesn’t want to hold on when I know how this will end.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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