Month: July 2018

Poetry

Am I

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Going to be the reason I am defeated.

Am I my worst enemy right now as the battle to survive seems harder than before.

Am I the reason it’s hard for me to breathe right now.

Am I the reason I’m so tired right now did I drain myself of all the energy I so needed.

It feels like it’s been a long day and maybe it has been.

But, this drain feels different from what I’ve felt before.

I just hope some rest helps because I’m completely wore out right now, my arms are so sore.

My eyes want to just close and go in a nice deep sleep and  only wake up when I’m truly refreshed.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

I want to

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give more but, my tank is empty.

The words don’t flow freely anymore

and the time it takes to just think of something feels like a day wasted.

The solution to this problem isn’t clear and the root of the problem no matter how many times cut down it is still grows back so fast.

That my head is spinning and I Just wish things would just calm down so that I can get on and words may come back.

My mouth starts to open but nothing comes out and my hands are so still I think they have fallen asleep.

I try to search for that feeling that seem to be so true but yet isn’t coming my way right now no matter how high I try to remember the code to solve this for me.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

I see you

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trying to figure out your way out of this situation right now.

I know that you are not happy and you have just given up and in your mind you’re not making things bad.

Yet, you are given your all because you don’t want to seem like the bad guy.

But the truth is I see right through you and I know that this is not your best right now and the mess you are causing doesn’t exist in your mind.

But, all around someone is running behind you cleaning it all up as quickly as possible because they don’t want to struggle later on when it all comes down to them to finish the deal.

I wonder what is going through your mind when you feel you are truly fighting this battle with every weapon you have but, yet I see all around you everything on the ground and your hands are empty.

The battle is won only because the people who are standing beside you did the hard work and finished everything you left behind.

I want to say so much but, I feel like you should know better and at the end of the day I’m not your mother or your boss.

So I’m going to let you fail because it’s just too much to help you succeed at the end of this battle.

 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

Everything

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Photo by Alex Smith on Unsplash

is moving so fast that I just don’t know how to put the brakes on what is happening right now.

I want for things to slow down so that I can find time to truly enjoy the little things in life.

I know this fast pace is not going to last forever and sooner than later I’m going to have to find a way for things to slow down.

Sometimes everything going on around me is like a blur and before I can blink my eye it’s all over and I’ve missed out on so much.

Like a blur you were there and now your gone and I wonder if I had imagined you all this time ago.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

Did

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I ignore it when everything was bright and seeing the truth was so clear for me.

Now all I can see is bits and pieces of light as I go through my day and week.

Did I lead myself into this tunnel of darkness and will I be able to get myself out of this or will they be right that there is no kindness when it comes to me.

I am the darkness in your night and the nightmare in your dreams and even when you are up you can still feel me.

Hear my dark words whispering to you as you just begin to smile I take that happiness away from you and steal your joy without a blink of the eye.

I find joy in your misery because it makes me feel so strong that you thought you could out run me.

My name is what you wish you knew so that you could get away from me and erase me from you mind and you want to stand strong at the end of this battle.

But, I truly don’t want to leave for I like weakening you and taking all that you have and hoping one day you will be completely mine.

I’ll let you keep guessing who I am but, the truth is I don’t want to tell you and give you that power over me.

 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

Do I

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really want to know the outcome of the situation that is happening around me right now.

Do I really want to get involved at the time or do I just want to keep the peace and stay out of it.

I don’t want to feel their pain or deal with their drama for I just want to be right now.

Not in the spot light but not completely in the dark either, but at the same time do I really need to know the truth behind it all.

I want to be surrounded by light and not let any of the darkness in today, I want to rest and not keep fighting off my problems and their problems too.

When will the rest come for me, oh I hope soon for I’m getting too tired to keep fighting these battles for so long.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

Am I

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to be scared 

for the rest of my life.

Will I keep running from you

or will I just face you and let the words out. 

Or will you continue to haunt my dreams each and every night 

or will I tire myself out every night and so the dreams don’t come at all. 

But how much longer can I keep living like this and not see any results and 

if I do see them will they last long enough for me to not be this way. 

I don’t want to run anymore and I know every time that I do you laugh 

and smile for you have defeated me so many time it’s a shame. 

Will I ever enjoy these moments again on my own or will you ruin me for life and once 

it’s too late there is no coming back from this moment.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

Anger

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can you see it in my eyes as I stand here watching you come into my home and take from me.

I am a Lion and I rule the jungle and I am not afraid of what you may think will protect you from me.

My eyes show the fire that burns inside me when you think I am just someone who will stand by and let you destroy things dear to me.

I was not born to let you walk all over me and think that one day I won’t bounce back and pounce on you.

I don’t regret any of the things I have done for it is in my nature to sense when danger or fools are on my land.

I do my best to behave but, there is only so much I can take and when I’m ready and have made up my mind there is no turning back and as you cry out no one will save you from me.

I will think little of you when you are gone and soon the earth will break down your remains and you will be forgotten as the next meal becomes available to me.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

Am

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I to be like a caterpillar and go up inside my cocoon and come out a new person.

But, lately it feels like I’m trapped in this cocoon and there is no way out of this place that is so dark and lonely.

This process feels like it is going on forever and the outcome is not looking to have strength me but has weaken me.

The days seem so much longer than they did before I was in this cocoon of misery.

I can only hope that I break out of this cocoon soon and regain the light and joy I had before or better than it was before it all went dark.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

My heart

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seems so far  these days as I seem to not feel or care about much lately.

For it feels like I’m on autopilot and it unclear about what is really going on around me at this point.

I do what is in front of me and everything else is forgotten until its something I need to do focus on.

My heart used to feel so much closer and all that I did was full of happiness and peace and the words flowed from me so easily.

Now everything is blocked and closed off to the point that somethings are still unclear for me.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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