Month: May 2019

Poetry

Sometimes

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mehrdad-haghighi-1581247-unsplash

Photo by Mehrdad Haghighi on Unsplash

I don’t want to hide 

I just want it all out in the open. 

But, would that leave me feeling too vulnerable 

or will it be just what I needed in the first place. 

I guess I won’t ever know if I don’t get up and do 

something about the things that could lead me to.

A place that is better than I could ever imagine I deserve

and the truth is I do deserve so much more and I know it 

doesn’t stop here or there for I have a long way to go. 

But I will get there soon enough so that later on there will be no regrets from me . 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Tomorrow

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will you ever come

and when you do will it be something I enjoy.

Will things look up for me or will the struggle still be the same.

Is it time to listen to the ones that are more mature and wiser than me

Or is it time to do what I’ve always felt was right for me and don’t give up when things get tough.

Time to give it my all and if tomorrow comes I can continue to work hard but know that I laid it all out the day before because nothing is the finally answer until you open your eyes and see the light of a new day in the same place on earth.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I am

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a fighter and there isn’t a day that goes by that I’m not fighting something.

Fighting to keep everything on track when at work or fighting to stay alert when working a long shift.

Fighting to keep my inner demons from winning and taking more light from me.

Fighting to keep my faith number 1 in my life and not let others things in life distract me from what I was born to do.

Fighting to do more with my life for I want better and need it to keep going and to not allow myself settle.

I won’t and can’t stay in the place I’ve been in for the last almost three years.

For this year is all about me fight to make a difference for me  and to finally know that even when I win this battle there will always be more to come because I won’t settle for anything less than what I deserve.

I have survived and will continue too with the help of my god and with the fight inside of me.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I closed

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Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

my eyes and prayed everything would be alright that day.

And that the next day the stress of the day before was not still on my shoulders.

I know that I have worried about everything but the true depth of my situation is worst than I thought.

There will be a time  where all I do is pray for nothing I do on my own will get me through the chaos that is happening here today and everyday after it.

The peace of knowing that you can feel what is gong on around you is great but when I pray I don’t know if everything will be okay but I trust and believe it will all workout for me.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

The

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struggle to find the right words to say is eating me alive.

There isn’t a moment when my mind and hands are not moving.

I know that there is so much more for me to learn and the struggle to focus on it all is coming in so strong.

As one part of me just wants to block everything out and the other half wants to feel everything that is happening so I can get through them and process all that has happened.

So everyday is a battle inside myself to just find that little moment of peace and not stress myself out about all that is happening around me that is out of my control.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Happy mother’s day

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to everyone I hope you enjoy your day. 

And to everyone else I hope you have a great Sunday too. 

Today there is a lot of rain here but, I know today will be good for I’m blessed enough to still be here and will enjoy what I can control today. 

Poetry

Out

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black and white Venice waterfrontphoto by Philippe Mignot via Unsplash

and about all on my own with no worry insight and no hurry in my steps as I move along at a very normal pace.

I know today is for me and the worry about how long things will take have not crossed my mind as I go about my day just enjoy the slow pace for once.

No care insight about what will come next just enjoying the day as the weather is so calm with no storm insight to ruin my day out.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes

Alone!

Poetry

Weak

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I feel it in my bones as I stand here being in the one place I rather not be.

Faking a smile and trying to be okay when I feel nothing but okay in this moment.

I want to do nothing but scream and the truth is no matter how much I say my frustration.

Nothing gets better and so I say nothing at all because what I have to say doesn’t seem to matter.

I am just another body even though I do good work and a lot of people see that at the end of the day they can push someone to be like me.

So what makes me any special if I can be replaced in a blank of an eye.

There will be lots of denial and lies but the end results will always be the same and with that is it worth dealing with.

An question I think I already know the answer too but, yet I am still around losing my mind all over again as if I am stuck in a loop and living my last days on earth in hell the place I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Something

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wild is fighting its way from inside me.

And I’m not sure who I will be when it finally breaks through who I used to be.

Will it accept the things that I have been allowing to push me down for too long.

Or will it finally fight back for me and the look on everyone face when I snap or bite back be worth it?

Will this moment change everything and will there be no going back for this moment won’t be a dream.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

So

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much on my shoulder

And no one is around to help.

Everyone just looking at me as if I have all the answers.

I’m still looking for my own answers and now I have others use me as their lifeline.

So I grow tired and worn out until I start looking like them.

I know being me may seem easy but the truth is being me is starting to suck.

For j want to run so bad but I can’t for now but the staying isn’t worth it and I see the truth more and more.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes