Tag: Hope

Poetry

I know

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andrea-davis-Y_1pNHclb5A-unsplash.jpgPhoto by Andrea Davis on Unsplash

it’s not cold enough yet to sit by a fire but how I wish it was for the days are so hot but the mornings are nice and cold and it just feels like fall is coming.

And right now that is what I want to be able to cuddle up in a blanket and read by the fire.

And just have life feel like it slowed down for a moment and for me to gain a little balance again because right now life  is going by fast but the moments of joy are few.

If only it took for a day of staying inside with no worries about all that is going on outside to calm my stressful mind and just let me  be who I truly am just for once without anyone questioning me.

Now that would be nice but, the truth is it never truly lasts.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

 

Poetry

Your mouth

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 Opens and I wish you would close it.

There is nothing you can say that would interest me.

I don’t want to hear you complain about what is not being done.

I don’t want to hear my name coming from your lips either.

I feel like I’m done with you but I have to see you almost everyday anyways.

I don’t want to deal with you but what choice do I have at this point in time.

Lost and I don’t want to found as I find ways to avoid you.

Only two days and then your back again and I know things will go back to be so unfair.

But I will push on for it’s not you I’m truly trying to be like right now and it won’t be you I see when this journey comes to an end.

 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I have

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 Become that person who is always there

But who am I right now in this moment.

And will I ever really know unless I make a change and I stop just being there.

I can’t continue like this because I’m always waking up to a moment when I don’t know who I have become.

I’m losing everything because I’m too afraid to just go for it.

For I’m afraid to fail and be right back in this same space I was years ago.

With no hope of grown and the answer to the questions I so badly needed answers to.

And for what?

For a paid check that will get me through until next time and then when next time comes will I still stay and wonder what it would be like to truly live this dream.

I guess it’s time to open the door that has been waiting for me to stop pretending and fitting in.

And start just standing out and doing the very thing that makes me feel alive and human.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Is it me

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 Who has to step up

And make the final decision.

Only a couple of months left in the year

And yet it feels like enough time to make a mark.

So many emotions going around that I don’t know

what to listen to my heart or my gut.

The days feel like they are flying by and the situation that I am in don’t seem that great but I fight on with hope to come and win it all.

No more uncertain moments or questions

It’s now or never and right now I’m so ready to leap into this new destination

With nothing but faith that it will all workout for me.

 

 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Knowing that

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everything  has been leading up to this moment.

Feels tiring and exhausting.

I all I can think about is going to bed and not having to deal

but there is just one more day that I have to get through before.

I am free from the demands and the headaches and everything

that is continually falling on my shoulders everyday and week.

As if I am just so strong that nothing will or can break me but that is not

how I feel or how my body feels.

To be glad that tomorrow is Friday and I just have to get through the day to taste the freedom that is ahead of me feels so damn good.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

What am

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I to say when your words have turned the warmth inside of me into ice.

It’s hard for me sometimes to see the light in the day when all I hear is the words of someone who doesn’t see the real problem in this situation.

So many complaints and suffering  going all around and yet no one sees the truth is right in front of them.

There is not just one reason the place is falling apart but there have become more cracks and those cracks are not getting smaller but are getting wider  and wider as the days go on.

I don’t hold on to anything these days and I can’t be mad at your words or care about the drama you want to bring for my head and my heart are already out the door.

I am physically in the building but mentally I have checked out and I am just moving to the beat of the robot I have become to get the job done.

But who I am and what I want to be is not here and the minutes and days are counting down until I too can be free physically from this place that tries so many times to steal what makes me, me and at the end of the day it’s I who has to answer to the call of being stressed out about whatever it is they want.

To be their puppet and robot is truly taking a toll on me and I hope just one day things will change for the better as soon as I find the break I need to escape and walk way from something that never really needed to be in my life this long.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I couldn’t

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Imagine you coming back again

at if so not to talk to me.

I know that we had a past and now we

each of our own futures to look forward too.

And I’m happy living in this present even with the more downs then ups

but isn’t that the way life is the struggle is on and to learn you have to get through

and even when you want to give up and walk away.

You don’t because if you did would there be actors or movies or songs being written

for I’m sure everyone has had that moment of feeling not good enough and were tired of submitting work and no one liking it at all.

It’s time to just get up and get it done because if no one sees what you have done how will they know it’s worth trying or reading or doing.

It’s time to stop saying I’ll do it tomorrow

as if you are even promised tomorrow.

We human think that we have a schedule ahead of us so there is no way I’m not going to be apart of the plan in front of me.

That I will live another day or week or month or even year.

There is no clear plan of what is going to happen or what is not going to happen.

But, we can live to our best moments and time and just hope that we keep waking up each day with hope and faith to complete something new.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Finding

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no new answers

as I walk down this path.

But, even though I’m stumbling more than normal

I’m not giving up even though I want to so badly right now.

Finding the right answers to my questions are leading me on an interesting but long journey and my patience and emotions are a little weary.

But, in time I hope I will find my way to a place with clear skies and dark nights were all the stars are shining so brightly.

And my hope will out last every storm and every dream that may fall apart just when I feel things are just looking up for the first time in a very long time.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

That night

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Image by Bikurgurl

We all got together to enjoy a great show after a long day at work.

We knew the time to relax and just move to beat and sing along was among us as we just enjoy this time together.

For we knew we would not get another chance to just forget about what life has thrown at us lately.

For things have been rough but we never stop hoping for things to get better if only we just had a little bit more faith this time around.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes

The Show!

Poetry

Oh

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Lord If I didn’t have you inside of me

tonight would have gone differently.

The calmness would have gone out of me and in its place would have been a storm.

Words would have been flying around and not in a good way and for once she would have been put in her place.

But, she wasn’t worth going there because that door where my anger is stored needs to kept closed.

For life is better without the anger that just makes a bigger mess in any situation.

So over the devil butting into my life with his followers and today and tomorrow I won’t pay them any mind.

As the wind blows into my life and pushes out the frustration of last night and brings with it some much needed fresh air.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I guess

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What I am saying is sometimes a bad thing has to end for a good thing to begin.

I am trying to convince myself that this bad thing will just go away on its own but it has been almost three years and it has just got worse.

It’s like I was living the life with a little bit of joy flowing my way and it was all great and now I’m living with not even a spoonful of joy.

A frown is how you see my face unless you are paying for me to have a smile on my face now.

The ability to get my face to turn up is not something possible right now when I all hear is your words of dissatisfied about everything even when I’m doing my best in a situation that is really out of my hand.

I do my best when I’m with the best and we work together and are equal with the responsibilities and we both know what we are capable of handling what is in front of us at all times.

 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes

 

Poetry

Where’s

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the love

Where’s the passion.

Everything feels like an unanswered question these days.

I don’t know what it is I’m looking for but I know when I find it.

It will outshine everything I’ve been going through lately.

The stress the pain and the frustration won’t be a big deal anymore.

Everything that seemed so big and overwhelming will become so small they will cease to exist.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

It’s

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time to get up and not let those things that are trying to put you down.

Be allowed to control your mood and ability to get up and enjoy life anymore.

It’s time to let the inner warrior come out and not go back until you have won all the battles that are making you second guess what you want in life and what you need in your life right now.

It’s time to smile more and stress less as the day begins to whine down and the calm is in the air it is time to reflect on the things in your life that make you who you are or who you are going to be.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

If

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Only I knew this would be my present surely I would have turned away.

I would have run for the door and never looked back.

Thinking about this moment as it slowly begins to become more than it was meant to be.

I guess it took being used, pushed to the edge of breaking for me to realize this isn’t for me.

Trapped in a nightmare that has become my reality isn’t something I wish on my worst enemy.

The wall I have to put up just to be able to catch  my breath and to see the light at end of this tunnel called my life.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Standing tall

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but feeling like I’m falling short in everything around me.

There are moments when it feels I’ve missed out and that I’ve lost sight of everything.

As my once sharp mind has fallen to the side and everything is so much more difficult to navigate to a point of just blindly guiding myself to a spot I’ve not been and that this will be the place.

A place that would stay intact after you are gone, in hopes the people after you will take care of it as much as you do.

You know that you are stressed and overworked and yet you have to keep pushing yourself to do more just to be above the average person.

You don’t want to keep struggling but you know that if you don’t do it no one will and the need to get it done is urgent and in full force.

There is no turning back now as the time to keep moving and being able to do the impossible is now.

I will do my best to stand up tall and make everything that has been thrown at me not a big deal for someone has to get it done and clearly it isn’t going to be the other people around me.

Standing as tall as I can be and sometimes the battle is lonely but in the end when the Victory is mine I guess the finish line will only be crossed by me.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes