Not of what awaits me today.
As it seems there are challenges that keep popping up and yet I seem hopeful.
That I will get through it all even when I know the struggle is far from being over.
My hopes to get ahead or even break even just isn’t in the cards for me.
And so I just face everything for what it is and keep moving through life as if this pace won’t always be how I’m walking on my journey.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes
Not deny that things are falling apart around me.
But I am full of hope and joy because I know I did right.
They say wish harm on Someone else and it will most likely backfire.
So I let you try to stab me in the back many times only for you to see I am not going down.
I am not getting weaker but stronger and the anger and sadness in you begins to grow.
As the peace in me stands strong and attached to a path that is still unclear but slightly focused on an end goal.
That won’t be flashy but a place that is not just a settling but a true destiny.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes
Back and yes it was a surprise
For I just thought about reaching out to you.
Then there you were standing tall with a smile on your face, begging me to step closer.
And I knew I couldn’t stay mad and so forgiveness was given and the distance between us was closed.
Oh how nice it has been to see you again it’s like everything has fade and in the moment it’s my favorite time of year again.
It’s like nothing changed and those first moments we spent together came right back.
Today would forever be great because of our reconnection no matter how crazy it got.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes
I to do for right now I have no clue.
How or what to do with this life that has been given to me.
The feeling of truly not knowing what is to come of me when the days are long and my energy is low.
But I know I have to keep moving forward no matter what.
But I’m getting tired and the path isn’t as clear as it used to be.
I’m not getting any younger at this point and feeling hopeless and lost Is just becoming darker each and every day.
Written By: Deirdre StokesCopyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes
Photo by Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash
Of wising it was hot instead of cold outside right now.
Yes I have enjoy the hot drinks and the hot food and just enjoying the sweat pants but it’s time for less layers.
The urge to be inside all the time and now worry about what everyone is saying about staying in.
You know you can be out with a smile on your face and enjoy the air around you.
For you don’t have to be so wrapped up some my not know where all the layers of you end at the end of the day.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes
That I want to reach out and stay connected to everyone even though I know it’s not possible.
I somehow still put that stress on myself until I just don’t care.
I feel like my life is calm and yet it doesn’t feel fulfilled.
I’m lost even though I am finally in a good place.
But of course no story is going to continue on without some bumps in the road.
The urge to find the answers to why I feel this way right now is so strong.
But I just don’t have the time to deal with it or every time I have to deal with it I avoid it at all cost.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes
Girl with the sad eyes.
With the permanent frown on your face with no smile in sight.
Once you find your balance you light up but right now you seem lost.
Your always staring off into the light with a look of unsure about something in your life.
I wish I could help you but I don’t know where to start because you are so stand-off sometimes.
It’s hard to be sure if you would accept my help anyways.
Maybe tomorrow I’ll be brave enough to reach out and get a response from you or things could get awkward.
But I will only know if I take that extra step and say something to you.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes
Hopeful this year
I hope, more will become great moments for me.
And that I will live up to the standards that have been put out before me and those to come.
The feeling that this is not a repeat of anything I’ve ever experienced.
Before and so far and so the shift in my life has begun.
And where it will lead me is so unknown that I just keep walking because it feels right.
I can feel the light growing inside of me and the darkness is growing so small.
As I smile it grows so weak and tries to hide but I won’t lose this battle and it must go.
So I think about everything that makes me happy and whom I love and all I see for miles is the light in me shining so brightly.
And that is how it will be for now as long as I trust you, my lord, I will continue to win.
Written By: Deirdre StokesCopyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes
Wants to feel again
That strong feeling of love.
And to be focus on someone other than yourself.
To make waves where you thought weren’t possible.
To truly smile and bit your lip every time you think of them.
You know that you don’t need to be near them all the time but, you want to be near them most of the time.
You care because you want too and no matter how much time goes by you will always care about them.
You don’t know how this will end but you know that you want things to be different than when you tried this before.
You can see that this year is bringing you everything.
Because you’re putting your heart out there and hoping they will bring it back in one piece.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes
Made with Bazaart by Lelia Sarda
So many things when you define me.
I am strong and I am weak
I am smart and I am determined .
I am open minded
I am shy and yet outgoing at times.
I am an closed book but if you give me time I will open up to you.
I am kind and caring.
I will stand up for myself
I can get annoyed but my patience can last a long time.
I am not the one you want to mess with.
I keep my temper in check for going off on others is not worth it.
Holding my tongue sometimes is a must.
Maybe some day others will accept that we are more than what meets the eye.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes
My eyes and the first thing to comes to my mind is you.
Your names seems to always want to come out of my mouth.
I want to be close but not that close, I feel like my emotions are on a roller coaster and one is saying just a friend and the other is not even sure what it wants.
It’s like growing up and then being like a high school girl all over.
Making this slight awkward but at the same time not really.
Complicated is what it is and right now feels like a mess that needs to be cleaned up or fixed.
The answer and the solution to the problem keeps changing and not for the better.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes
It’s like I’m watching a old movie as memories of my childhood flash before my eyes.
Just one word and I’m pulled into my past and sometimes it’s nice to see those memories.
And other times I’m like why did I think about that again.
But sometimes it’s a nice reminder of how far I have come and how I’m glad I can’t go back.
For living in the now has been wonderful and life changing even through the days of struggles and uncertainty’s.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes
Been fooling myself as I work hard to keep
this friendship going.
Maybe if I let it go if it was meant to be it will work out.
For this doubt and trying to figure out what to say is just not working and I feel like something needs to be said.
But, I don’t know how you will take it and so I sit here erasing more than hitting the send button.
Maybe it’s too late and now I wonder how to be me and yet still want what everyone else has.
I know being by myself sometimes is nice and so I get lost in my own world and every now and then.
I come out and check on everyone else and then I wonder if I had just been outgoing the whole time would this doubt be bothering me now.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes
To learn as the sky lights up and sun rises as the morning has begun.
So much to do and yet not a lot of time for yet again here you are trying to wake up.
Time moves a little slow but If you take your eye off of it for a second next thing you know your running late again.
So it’s time to get up and have faith that today will be great no matter how boring or bad it gets for your still blessed.
For you got up this morning and you still have a chance to do something great today.
And even though you feel like there has to be a better answer out there don’t give up yet.
Things will get better just give it some time but when that moment comes you will be knocked off your feet.
Oh how I wish you could see just how blessed and loved you are now.
I know a lot is going on and the feeling of being lost is around again but so much more is coming your way so just hold on.
Don’t give up just because the support you had isn’t there anymore.
For you have always had all the help you needed just not from those who have left.
Just look around your help and your support are there and the best thing is they don’t want to go anywhere else.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes
Unknown artists
Used to burn for you
Now it just burns for me.
But not as bright as before
As a lot of darkness has covered up the light in me.
Yet I know I still standout but I’m not looking for anyone to really see me
I just want to help guide others with my light and keep moving on as life keeps throwing things at me and some I catch and others just hit me but I won’t let them keep me down.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes
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