more than what I’m allowing myself to have.
But, yet I’m holding myself back out of fear of the outcome that things may not get better.
But turn for the worst yet maybe I should just take the leap and if I fall.
It will be okay for I will get back up and I will try again for I don’t want to keep living with the what-ifs anymore.
So today I leap and skip my way to something better for if I don’t do it no one will.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes
no better time
Then now to let you know how much you mean to me.
I know that it hasn’t been that long ago that the words that are coming out my mouth.
Are the same words you once said to me and even now somehow they are just as true.
Just as pure and hopefully just as long-lasting and in the future something we both still want to say.
But for now, let’s keep it short and sweet and not waste another second or word on things that are better left unsaid.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes
you didn’t need me
So I could run away from this place.
And not worry about the things you do
That drives me insane.
I know you think you are doing the best that you can but the truth is I know you could do better.
I am not some robot that can keep doing it all without taking a break.
Oh how I wish the day you didn’t need me would come soon.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes
to say that lately, things have been different.
As my plans have become no plans and just basically going with the flow.
The words are harder to find as my mind just wants to not think.
To relax and not stay busy is all I wish because I’ve spent too many times staying busy.
To avoid the truth of how I feel about you or about them or about my life in general.
So it’s time to stop staying busy for there will always be that time when everything slows down and you break down.
For no matter how hard I try to hide there will be a time that you find me and help define me.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes
Photo by Levin Anton on Unsplash
time to let somethings in my life just fall apart.
To not worry about where the pieces will fall or how hard they fall.
Just let it all fall and worry about the mess later.
For it’s time to stop cleaning up things and just let something things workout on it’s own.
I’m in this relax and laid back mood and I just need a break from feeling like I need to be somewhere else but, yet I’m still here.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes
Photo by Houcine Ncib on Unsplash
balance I so need in my life right now.
Will I ever find the proper balance between life and work and everything else in-between.
Or will I continue to live in this area that feels like I’m sinking more than I would like.
I want to do better and to be able to sit still and just breath in and out without breaking my focus.
I want to open my eyes when it’s all done and feel refreshed again and not feel more stressed than I was before I walked out of the space that held me in place in the first place.
The possibility of peace and quiet seems like a dream right now but, I know that things will get better for me it just may take some time.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes
that this battle that I’m about to face will not be an easy one.
Every breathe It take will help me get through it.
But, I must keep my mind clear because it’s going to take all of me to get out of this.
I know that the future might be bright but it could all turn for the worst if I don’t truly believe that it will workout.
I know that just a little doubt can change everything so quickly that I won’t have time to stop it once it all falls apart.
I know what I am capable of doing but, yet I stop myself a million times because I am tired and the fight and fire in me has burn down that it feels like I’m stuck in one spot.
Until I wake up enough to start moving in the right directions again and only then will things start to look good again.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes
there was more I could say
right now but the words just won’t come.
And I’m running out of time
and there is so much I need to say.
But, the time to let it all out just never seems right
and as the sadness overcomes me I just don’t know how I will fight my way back to a place that feels good again.
I know that you may have to bring me back but, I don’t know if you will notice what’s going on until it’s too late to save me with your love and light.
I guess I can only hope you will find me in time and save me from the darkness that never seems to truly go away.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes
remember those that fought the good fight for our country and didn’t get to come home and tell their story.
Or hug their love ones and whose story has to be told by someone else that was there that day.
Let’s not allow the things we can do today or tomorrow get our way from thinking about those that gave so much so that we could do so much more for ourselves and others now.
Let’s stop thinking about ourselves but think about others as well today and maybe not just today but everyday as long as we can do or give a little.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes
Photo by Elijah O’Donnell on Unsplash
of where I am going but, yet look forward to the change that will come my way.
I know not what is good for me as I am clearly not running this show.
I just know that this will be the last glimpse of my past that I will have before we truly get on the road.
I have no more questions to ask for I have packed my bag and I am going in the direction that feels right and I am not going to give up.
No matter what those that don’t believe in me say.
This ride is for me and I will end up in a different place but I will know that I did my all when it comes to truly living for me and not for others who have no clue who I am now.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes
a fighter and there isn’t a day that goes by that I’m not fighting something.
Fighting to keep everything on track when at work or fighting to stay alert when working a long shift.
Fighting to keep my inner demons from winning and taking more light from me.
Fighting to keep my faith number 1 in my life and not let others things in life distract me from what I was born to do.
Fighting to do more with my life for I want better and need it to keep going and to not allow myself settle.
I won’t and can’t stay in the place I’ve been in for the last almost three years.
For this year is all about me fight to make a difference for me and to finally know that even when I win this battle there will always be more to come because I won’t settle for anything less than what I deserve.
I have survived and will continue too with the help of my god and with the fight inside of me.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash
my eyes and prayed everything would be alright that day.
And that the next day the stress of the day before was not still on my shoulders.
I know that I have worried about everything but the true depth of my situation is worst than I thought.
There will be a time where all I do is pray for nothing I do on my own will get me through the chaos that is happening here today and everyday after it.
The peace of knowing that you can feel what is gong on around you is great but when I pray I don’t know if everything will be okay but I trust and believe it will all workout for me.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes
be the one who moves like the ocean on a calm day just going smoothly along a plan you have made for yourself.
And you hope life could be this calm but the truth is you are about to become more of a storm as things around you are changing and the path is little rough as you go down hill more quickly than you thought would happen.
But, don’t let the steps back set you to become discourage as the journey was not always suppose to be this easy thing or you wouldn’t have bother with the change in the first place.
You know that there are things that will be let go but, you know your connect with this new change will worth the pain and the frustration that you had to deal with that you feel no matter how much time goes by it will always be burned into you and me especially when we feel so far apart that there is no coming back.
Just look back through it all and trust and believe the things that happened, happened for a good reason whatever it may be.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
want to stop worrying about
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
want to say my patience is not at its limit.
But, I know that each day that I stay the more I’m losing more of me.
I’m done complaining and I’m ready to change and walk away from the frustration.
I’m ready to enjoy the good weather no matter how hard the wind blows.
I will keep walking and maybe when it blows too hard I’ll just let it carry me to better destination.
And when I arrive I will welcome everyone and everything because I will be grateful for this new chance at the peace I’ve been looking for.
I will live and try to judge less and I will help and smile and I will choose to let out my light for I know to let the darkness.
from inside of me does more harm than good even if it feels good at the time because regret will come back and bite me.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
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