Poetry

When I

Photo by Nolan Manning on Unsplash

Smile at you, and you smile back. It’s as if the whole world disappears.

And everything I was whining and complaining about doesn’t matter anymore.

Because I realize when you are happy, all the people who don’t like me and go out there a way to put me down.

Don’t exist as you smile my way, and it makes me realize tough skin, and you will get me through it all.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Too tired

to play your silly games anymore.

Tried to be the bigger person and stay up and be truthful to you.

But then you lied and thought I was too much out of the loop to find out what you’re up to.

But here I am too tired to care but not too tired to walk away and not look back.

As I cherish my rest and now know, sometimes the chase isn’t worth it and when I’m ready I’ll find someone else.

And there will be no games, just the truth and a fun time together.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I long

To be me even though I am different and sometimes weird.

I wouldn’t trade who I am for anyone else just to fit in.

Who I am is who God made me be, and how can I want to change for someone else, especially for someone who sins like me and has insecurities like me?

Who has fears and is judged sometimes like me.

Someone who wants one day to be seen for who they are outside and inside.

Someone who wants to be free and happy and at peace just like me, for I know who I am, and I accept who I am, and sometimes it is hard being me.

But I will stand by myself until the end because I know no one else will.

I see the real me in the mirror, and I feel the real me when others don’t know the truth behind my smile or words.

I long to be free from my cage of uncertainty, but even in those moments, I see pieces of who I am meant to be.

And I long to be her and to stop holding myself back, for only I am in my way now.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I used

Photo by nine Koepfer on Unsplash

To think blowing on a dandelion would grant me a wish

Now I know it won’t, but the fun of blowing it away is still tempting.

Looking back at those times when I was innocent, everything was so simple and beautiful.

Things are more in-depth, and emotions, feelings, and decisions can change everything around me.

The answers and questions become more, but I cannot ignore that something feels off, and all I wish for is for what is wrong to come clear.

I used to see so much, and now it’s all in a fog that feels like it won’t be lifting anytime soon.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

To let go

When you truly let go of everything

And you jump up into the air as if you could fly.

For you believe and feel that nothing can stop you now.

For all the negative voices inside your head are gone, and you are stronger than you ever felt before.

When you got some air that day, you realized your life could not return to the dark hole you had been in.

Because you aren’t that person anymore, even though you know, struggles will still come and go.

You don’t have to worry anymore because they will not be trying to tear you down but build you up so that nothing can indeed destroy you.

If your mind and your heart are pure, you will find that as you tell the truth, things will be more straightforward for you everywhere you go.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Sometimes

I don’t want to get back up again like lying in a cold pool of water

And knowing I should get up and not let myself get too cold, but I don’t

For sometimes I just need to feel it all and then let it all out before I get back up again.

And show the world you can throw so much at me, but I will get up even if each time it may take longer for me to get back up again.

Sometimes you are the one pushing me down when things look too good for me, and you feel things need to be stirred up.

So, you throw me off my game and throw me down in the dirt where you spend most of your days.

Sometimes I want to give up but then you tell me not to because I still have so much more to give.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

To lie

Or tell the truth

I feel lying takes up too much time, as you must produce a story and stick to it.

And is lying worth the trust you lose from those that matter?

Is it worth the guilt you may feel later when something terrible happens?

Or do liars not worry about karma?

So much to think about, and that’s why I tell the truth.

Sometimes little wounds turn into more significant injuries when you keep picking at them.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Inside my mind

There is so much to say

But will it make things better

Or will it make things so much worst?

I’m not ready to ruin the peace and the silence as I feel so good.

It feels like I’m floating on a cloud of satisfaction, and the temptation of ruining something so good is high, but for the first time, I don’t want to sabotage this.

I know I will surely regret it, and I’m tired of regretting things.

I hear you coming near, and I know I’m out of time, and right now, I have to decide if I want to be on good terms with you.

Or do I want to ruin the good things we have going on to spare myself the pain later on?

Inside my mind, it all plays out, and for the first time, I don’t say what’s on my mind, as right now, self-doubt is running high.

And now, with you near and I can see the truth and feel you, I know everything will be okay.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

To just be

Alone with myself, a nice cup of tea would be nice.

As I relax with lavender flowing all around me and I feel everything around me melt away.

I begin to see that I have accomplished so much and that this moment of doubt will pass too.

And as I allow myself to be wrapped around in a feeling of peace and acceptance, I walk into today with great hope.

Know that my fear can hold me back, or it can push me forward until the fear is no more.

And I have finished something I put off for so long, and it turns out it wasn’t as hard as I made it to be.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Not in

The mood as I feel the darkest winning today

And my words are not lovely but ugly and wrong, and my frustration is intense.

Not in the mood to deal with the things that make me strong and happy.

I’m not in the mood to do much, but I know I’m grateful to be alive today.

And as my negatives slowly become positives again, I realize I’m moving backward, not forward.

And I don’t want that as I’ve worked so hard to improve, for I am my number one priority.

And yet I allowed my mood to set me back, and now I must reflect and refocus on what I want.

For I know, other than God, no one is fighting as hard as I am to stay on the right track and become who I am meant to be.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

My time

Will come I believe it as I sit down and start to write again.

I see you in the future, doing what you love with a smile, and you care about everything in sight.

There isn’t a moment of your day that you have to fake it.

You are you all the time, and as you relax for the night, you know it will end well, for you are surrounded by like-minded people who care about you.

And you know now what you can control and can’t, and you don’t let those things hold you back anymore.

You are brave and embrace everything that comes your way. And I see you doing big things and crushing it for you and those you love.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Sorry

Or maybe I’m not sorry for being myself

But I am sorry if something I’ve said or did trigger you.

I know we all have a past, and those memories haunt us even if we let them go years ago.

But all it takes is that one word to set us off, and I’m sorry if I did that to you.

Seeing you in pain has never been my goal, for I Rather see you smile at me and feel the joy in this place.

So that life can be much more for you because I know the road isn’t always so dark.

So let us walk in the light and let go of the grudges and the past hurt because the feeling of just not caring about it anymore is freeing.

For I am not that person to avoid being heard anymore, too scared to read because I can’t sound out the words, or that girl no one thinks wants the same things as them because I look different and I’m not looking desperate on the outside.

But maybe I felt the same inside and kept it all to myself like a bottle. I was so tight that nothing could sink out, and I was okay with that.

But now I’m not, and here I am with my cap off and nothing holding me back as the words flow from me like a beautiful waterfall that works hard not to dry up so people can keep showing up for so many to see her.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

No one

It warned me that life would be hard sometimes and that the tears keep flowing.

Like an unlimited River down my face when I’m too tired to say words.

And when I become too tired but still have so much to say that I have to get out.

That paper sometimes becomes not enough as I fill all the blank space with words of frustration and joy and whatever else I may feel.

Because sometimes I have so much to say and no one to say it to, the paper gets my words and my time.

Life can be so much more than I thought it could be, and sometimes it burns through me in a way that I’m energized to the max.

While other times it feels like I’m on my last battery life, and no matter how much I try to recharge, it feels like my wires are broken.

And I don’t know if I can do much but lay here and listen to song after song.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I toss

And turn as nothing seems quite comfortable as I lay down to sleep.

Like everything else, I can’t decide what I want to be to do or say.

And so on repeat, I keep rewriting and writing, but nothing is quite right.

And as I keep pouring out words after words, the frustration begins to grow.

And the irritation begins to bubble up inside, ready to explode.

Like a volcano from all directions, you won’t be able to stop it.

And the mess afterward won’t be worth the clean-up, but the release will free you from the uncertainty.

As nothing is holding you back now.

And maybe things will be more clear if I just let it all out and take some time to relax because not everything in life is to be taken so seriously.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Too hot

Photo by Wasa Crispbread on Unsplash

to go outside so let’s come together inside and eat food that fuels us up.

So that when we must go outside, we end up feeling cool and full but strong to overcome this heat.

As we all walk quickly to our destinations and relax inside with the air conditioning on and wait for a cool moment to come.

Then we can take a walk where the breeze is blowing around and the feeling of appreciating nature is strong.

As we clear our minds from the past days and just start clear and good again.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes