You knew something was going on when she just had a sudden change of her mind.
You had known her for a long time and her barely ever changed her mind.
She was stubborn that way and always that if she couldn’t decide then it wasn’t meant to be.
She was always thought long and hard before letting anyone know her secrets and announcements.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Someone who taught me something I may not have figured out on my own.
They changed me from the troubled child to a good and kind Adult.
Who realizes that the things that I did in the past helped me to be better in the future and to not take crap from anything one.
I know you would be happy with who I became and I’m glad to have remembered the things you said to me those days.
You were the light to the path I thought I would not go back too but now I’m on that path again and things have changed since last time.
Your words are the reason I have not given up on my dream and I know one day it will all work out and maybe not the way I want it too.
But it will be the best that I can do.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
It’s been rough lately and my focus is not as clear as I need it to be.
I needed to go to a spot that would connect me back to nature and be one with myself again.
The little creek by the park with the metal bench always was a great spot for me to just sit down and lose myself in my music and writing at the same time.
It was a beautiful day out today and as I blocked out all the noises around me I just wrote until I was happy with each piece.
It’s one of those days that I am just glad I was able to be off for and now the feeling of being relaxed is all I could have asked for.
As the sun shined down on the creek I found myself thinking I hadn’t been this at peace and happy in a long time.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
used and abused by you for too long.
I’m like recycling to you for you just use and reuse me until you are satisfied.
My pain is your gain and at the end of the day, you are not trying to make things better for me.
I have so much to say but I won’t disrespect you.
They say he will deal with you and I hope he does soon.
For I deserve more than this and I’m tired of being mad and frustrated.
I’m just trying to do my best but right now my mind is blown from the lies you said to me.
I’m not a kid and I don’t take the bullshit anymore and I see right through your lies and I want to laugh in your face so bad.
You’re a snake and I’m about to make you regret you ever thought a battle against me would end well for you.
I come to win and I won’t leave until I’m satisfied even if that means you have to suffer more when I’m gone.
I won’t feel sorry for the mess I leave behind because you didn’t care what a mess you were making for me.
Use me and you will wish you never met me.
I can be the nicest person but, do me wrong and you will never see it coming.
I will forgive but, I won’t forget and I will replay it to my advantage.
I’m trouble and you thought the problems you had before were bad but the truth is I’m worst than any natural disaster for when I destroy there is no coming back.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
to block it all out as the noise is just too much for me.
I used to enjoy these moments but nothing I do now makes me found them even pleasant.
I try to block out the thoughts of that place that robbed me of my happiness.
I know I can only survive if I stop letting it in and live like it doesn’t exist.
I no longer care for this place and so I’m running and when it’s time.
I will do what I have to do, not walk through those doors because of them.
I will walk in because I need something but, I will be free of them for good.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
this was the moment I would step up and things would amount to something.
But, things still seem the same even though some charges have happened.
The stuff in the past seems to come back and be more painful than before.
What was I thinking to believe that the impossible was so possible for me, so much doubt and so little time to change and realize I am more than what I think I am now.
It’s getting to be where the little hope that is coming my way is healing the old and new wounds, which is letting me see the light and the truth.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
He depleted all the funds from your joint account and he wasted no time to get away and never to be seen again.
You thought you could trust him and you felt mad and sad all at the same time.
But, the truth was he did more deplete on your energy and time then on the money because most of the money was his and not much of yours.
For, you learned a long time ago that what is your’s is best kept with you and someone who wants to spend all the time will take more than their own in the end.
You were relieved that the account was finally closed and he was gone.
For you didn’t sign up to do all the work on your own for there was always the two of you and in the end.
It was just you and even though it was a struggle you did it all on own and no one could tell you that you didn’t work hard in the end.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
do you need me to go for you to finally notice me or
which way should I go so that we end up on the same path again?
How long will this go on without either of us knowing which way to go
for all we want to do is to meet up and finally find the time to lay it all out.
Please just let me get it all out for you open your mouth, for I know I won’t ever truly get it all out if I let you talk first.
I know that this day had to happen in order for us to finally get it together and end up possibly together.
Only if you let me have the time to prove to you that I’m not like the others and the trust and faith you have in me will only show you the light and the darkness because without the bad there wouldn’t be good to work on or look forward too.
I am the way for you and I just need you to hear me out and let me be what you need more than anything else.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
want to let go of all the frustration go because I’m tired of being mad and unsatisfied by the things that this life has been throwing my way.
I don’t want to be bothered with and so I start to distance myself for I just want to survive but, I don’t want to be involved anymore.
I’m here in this place with you but, I’m not going to keep giving myself because well I’m done and I don’t care anymore.
I know that now I just see what this really is now and I won’t sink anymore for I’m not about to save them all when in the end I’m just losing myself.
No one wants or needs to be saved at this time and even if I try which I have, it just comes back around as a failed attempt.
I’m done jumping through the many hops to only not please myself but no one else either.
I have learned that giving too much just ends up with you begging for some help when all your lifeboats are gone and there is no one around to save you.
Because they didn’t care in the first place to make sure you had a way out, you were dispensable and they had no desire to keep you around.
You were used up and washed out and well now you didn’t look like someone they needed to depend on, for there is always someone better just waiting for you to drop the ball.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Sometimes there are no warnings before the storm comes and hits you off your butt
I just wonder where my warning was when you came into my life and decided you wanted to make things so much harder for me.
I didn’t think things could get worse but you made the little stumbles in life feel like a major storm hitting me over and over again.
I survive every storm but I just starting to feel like I’m weaker than I thought I was at this moment.
And I know when I fall it will be with a warning because I know and can feel when I will hit my wall.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
photo by Vek Labs via Unsplash
You’ll find full guidelines on the TLT page – here’s the tl;dr:
Everything in my body is telling me to follow that arrow and take a risk and go on this path that I know will lead me to bigger and better things.
But, then there are the doubts that sit in the back of my mind that just tell me that I’m not good enough or blessed enough for something so great as this happen to me.
I’m fighting to do the right thing and to finally believe that I too can be on the path that fills me up completely and, for once I won’t doubt what is to come or what is happening now for I will know this is where I belong.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Your friend or
Your enemy
Most days feels like someone is always mad and taking it out on me.
You want respect than you have to earn it but, in customer service, you have to give it regardless if they deserve it.
For I am no bigger and smaller than you on the scale of mankind, for we are all working towards something at the end of the day.
So let me treat you how I want to be treated and when you throw your nastiness at me I will ignore it and move on to the customer is always right.
For there is not a moment when I can show you that you are wrong without getting myself in trouble.
So will I be your kind hard-working person or will I be the enemy that you are tiring so hard to destroy?
Will you see it as an accomplishment when you are done with me or will you regret how nasty you were?
Will you cry or feel defeated about the matter when you are at home in a comfortable chair enjoying the rest of your night with your feet up and not a care in the world.
Maybe you will but, I know the minute you walk out that door I am not even a thought you care to think about and in the end, I don’t matter.
So if I am an enemy you won’t remember but, if I am kind to you and help you out that’s when you remember me.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Three Line Tales, Week 111
photo by Wynand van Poortvliet via Unsplash
Hey my friend it’s been a long time since we talked and I just have so much to tell you.
I felt like if I don’t tell you now I won’t be able too because my time is very limited right now and I know that you always give me positive vibes.
You lift me up with the joy of your light that shines out of you, these moment are so few now but I know that when we talk it will be good.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Am I waiting and thinking things through or am I just acting on things so quickly that the idea of what I want is half-baked.
I don’t want to always end up with half-baked stories and poems because I didn’t think it through because I was in a rush to get it done and move on.
I really want to sit on these idea and make them right because at the end I want it be successful and walk out of this mess.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
100 week Wednesday: week 62
Photo by Annie Spratt
Apple pie reminds me of those good old days when I would be in the kitchen with my mother making pie from scratch.
Those memories are so dear to me as I wish I could go back to those days when I had more time on my hand and life seemed so much more calmer.
No stress or worries insight as we would stand together in the kitchen and make pies to enjoy together later on as dessert.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
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