Month: August 2019

Poetry

Find

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me  if you can.

I’m not doing the same things anymore

so I won’t be in the same places as before.

I don’t want to be boring because I choose to pay it safe

So I’m going somewhere to become who I felt I always was.

Maybe you will see this before I go or maybe you won’t and our goodbyes

will just be this.

I know you want the best for me but you don’t feel what I feel inside and you don’t know all that I hide.

Just to seem okay and normal in front of you and everyone else for I didn’t want to worry you and now I just want to feel free more than just a day or two.

I  want to spread my arms and not end up touching the same two walls again for I want to see and feel new things out there.

I want to finally say I am home and truly mean it for I will find the place that fits me for me and the battle to fit in isn’t a everyday thing.

Find me if you want but know this I won’t be coming back unless I know what  I found was worth it all along.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Finding

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no new answers

as I walk down this path.

But, even though I’m stumbling more than normal

I’m not giving up even though I want to so badly right now.

Finding the right answers to my questions are leading me on an interesting but long journey and my patience and emotions are a little weary.

But, in time I hope I will find my way to a place with clear skies and dark nights were all the stars are shining so brightly.

And my hope will out last every storm and every dream that may fall apart just when I feel things are just looking up for the first time in a very long time.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

The

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act is on all week

but what do I become when I don’t have to pretend anymore?

I feel all the emotions that I’ve held in all this time and it just comes out

in tears running down my face and I can’t even think of what could be wrong.

Other than I’m living a life I don’t want to live and every week is nothing new just

more misery shoved down my throat that it becomes so hard to breath.

Yet, some how I continue on with no hope insight and my body feels so weak that the

ability to want to get up and be about is becoming so hard.

That it feels like I’m starting to negotiate myself and I am falling apart right in front of my eyes and there is no amount of time or energy left to save myself.

What I once was is no more and now I do not know what  I am and what will become of me.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Life

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is full of many surprises.

some are good and bring a smile to your face.

Well others are bad and bring nothing but tears and frowns.

But, from every moment that a struggle comes around.

Once the storm comes and it eventually leaves with a rainbow left behind.

Making you see just how much you had been through and that it was time to move on and let that toxic person or place  go.

For I don’t want to repeat what I have overcome again.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Drained

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Completely of energy

I feel as if I am walking around on Benadryl  and just need to go back to bed.

As the day goes by I slowly get to work but I know I’m not fully here but I work on anyway.

Walking in slow motion as if I am on the moon and not down here on earth.

Every step is hard to take and I fee like I’m getting no where fast.

But, here I am trying to still do my best in a situation I rather not be in.

I hope  to have more tomorrow or I fear things will not go well and guard dog will be barking at every slow movement I make for they feel everyone is already against them.

But in reality everyone is just trying to get by the best that they can and sometimes we need to slow down and just appreciate everything around us.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

That night

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Image by Bikurgurl

We all got together to enjoy a great show after a long day at work.

We knew the time to relax and just move to beat and sing along was among us as we just enjoy this time together.

For we knew we would not get another chance to just forget about what life has thrown at us lately.

For things have been rough but we never stop hoping for things to get better if only we just had a little bit more faith this time around.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes

The Show!

Poetry

Look in

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the mirror

what do you see?

I know you don’t see me

so why do you feel I should do what you do.

I know that I may be lost but I know I don’t want to be you.

I know I want to live up to whatever it is I will end up doing in the end but for now I will live for my God and let you be you.

I know that I  will pray for you but I can’t keep being the voice of reason to you because if you just trust and believe these things that feel impossible would be possible just give it time .

Everyday is a battle and no matter who the leader is I am fighting for me and not trying to make them look goof I am just doing what I know is right because that is all I know to do.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Maybe

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I didn’t want things to be this way

but you choose to be this way for you drive yourself crazy

like someone is watching you.

But, the truth is no one is worry about you and your insecurities are lighting fires in places you don’t want them to be started.

And all I want to do is tell you to calm down or shut up and let us do our jobs for through the many storms we have gotten through them all.

I want to maybe help you out but at the same time I’m so tired of all the complaining coming out of your mouth right now.

I just want to keep my head down and kind of fade into the background so you won’t know if I’m still around.

Just to get some peace of mind because the pile of shit you keep putting out is becoming too much and I just don’t want to deal with it since it’s more your problem than it is mine.

So for once I’m just gonna walk a way and let you handle it for I’m not fighting and finishing your battles anymore.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes