From it all for I just need a place
to escape.
And so here I am, lost in this book and the things
running through my mind and I don’t seem to sense anymore.
I’m hiding away from it all, but soon I’ll be done
With the books and then what do I do then
Besides face the things I’m hiding from in
The first place.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
I go up you everyday
One step at a time and
Then I come back down
One step at a time.
I don’t think much about you
Stairway even though I need you
Day and night.
But I’m grateful you were built and thought of
Or I wouldn’t be able to rely on you each and every day.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Your curves are so Devine
Like candy your addictive.
One look at you and the fantasy
Begins,like candy your sweet.
Like licorice, Swedish fish, peach rings etc.
You’re a craving that can’t be solved with just
One bite, because one bite is how it starts with
you.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
(Sometimes life deals me lemons, and I just need a song to bring me away from those worries. And just sit there in the moment and listen to the words that can heal me or just make me feel like I’m not alone in these feeling.) This song just speaks to me today and I felt it would be nice to share it with you all that read this blog.
Grateful sung by: Rita Ora, featured on Beyond the Lights
There were a lot of tears I had to cry through
A lot of battles left me battered and bruised
Now I was shattered to have my heart ripped in two
I was broken, I was broken,
There were a lot of times I stumbled and crushed
When I was only years down to my last chance
So many times when I was so convinced that
I was over, I was over
But I had to fall yeah
To rise above it all
I’m grateful for the star
Made me appreciate the sun
I’m grateful for the wrong ones
Made me appreciate the right ones
I’m grateful for the pain
For everything that made me break
I’m thankful for all my scars
‘Cause they only made my heart
Grateful, grateful, grateful, grateful, grateful
Grateful
I was thinking I was trying to end out
From all the pain that was weighing me down
I pulled it together and I pulled myself out
Learned a lesson, learned a lesson
That there’s a life you gotta go through hell, yes
But that’s what got me strong, I got no regrets
And I’ve got only love, got no bitterness
I count my blessings, count my blessings, yeah
I’m proud of every tear, ’cause they got me here
I’m grateful for the star
Made me appreciate the sun
I’m grateful for the wrong ones
Made me appreciate the right ones
I’m grateful for the pain
For everything that made me break
I’m thankful for all my scars
‘Cause they only made my heart
Grateful, grateful, grateful, grateful, grateful
Grateful
There is nothing I would change,
Not even one mistake I made
I got lost, found myself, found my way
I’m grateful for the star
Made me appreciate the sun
I’m grateful for the wrong ones
Made me appreciate the right ones
I’m grateful for the pain
For everything that made me break
I’m thankful for all my scars
‘Cause they only made my heart
Grateful, grateful, grateful, grateful, grateful
Grateful
You know that I’m grateful,
You know that I care
No time for the wrong ones,
I’ll always be there
Grateful
Grateful, grateful
I’m grateful
Grateful, grateful
Oh, I am
Grateful
Oh, I am grateful
Sometimes I wonder what my heart is really trying to tell
me when it feels something so strong, but my mind can’t seem.
To understand what is happening, when it all happens so quick.
If only I knew how my heart worked maybe than I wouldn’t
be alone today.
Looking at the rain that keeps me inside and away from the things
I’m trying to avoid in the first place, becomes my reason I can’t come
out today.
But I can’t hide for long, for I know the truth will come out soon and
apart of me wants to live in this moment forever.
For the peace of being alone is relaxing and it lets you be carefree, and
one with yourself as your problems fade away and solitude becomes your
new meditation.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Sometimes I hide behind a mask
to get away from who I’m meant
to be.
If only you could see me for who I am and just maybe the mask could go away.
I love who I’ve become and as time goes by, I wish you could love this person too.
Because I’m not going anywhere as I’m who I’m meant to be.
So please accept me without the mask and love me for who I am.
Sometimes I won’t be easy to get along with but I know who I am.
I’m like a star in the night sky, I will always shine bright and guide you home.
So please accept my mask as acknowledgment that I don’t want to hide anymore.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
For as I stand still here
and look at you on this cold morning
and I wonder if only I had walked away.
Would I be such a mess with so many thoughts
flying through my mind at lighten speed.
Nothing is clean and I can’t grasp one thought
for my brain is starting to hurt as I fall down
and try to find comfort in this all.
Too much to handle and so lay here and stare
at nothing ,and I wish if only I had stopped when
the one and only thought popped into my mind
that night.
That changed everything and now here
I am pouring it all out and you stand there frozen
in time with nothing to say, and what good does that do
for me.
So I try to scream loud enough for you to wake up from this
state.
But instead all I do is break you apart into tiny little pieces as
you explode right in front of me and every piece of you I loved
comes flying at me.
And then it all becomes too much and I combust
Into tiny pieces and I am no more, like you.
But, it’s all just a dream and soon I will wake from this
nightmare of my truth, my fears.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
(Inspired while listening to: If only sung by Dove Cameron on the descendants soundtrack)
I have come to many crossroads in my life
and some how I choose a path that just circles
me back to the road I’ve been on before.
I’m lead down the right road and I find
hope once again and then I stumble and I fall flat on my face.
I roll over and look up at the sky and I wonder how it all went wrong again.
Oh, how my crossroads lead me to growth which then leads to me always end up standing still.
Stuck in a time and place I don’t know how to find my way out without running
away.
This time my crossroads lead me to a new place that was full of joy, hope and I
didn’t know what would become of me at this point, but I hoped the feeling of endless joy.
Would supply me through whatever was thrown at me and I would for once keep moving
and not be stuck in the crossroad I had grown to love and cherish for now.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
I saw you leaning against the wall as
Everyone walks by laughing among their friends.
But your all alone, listening to music on your phone
And I wish I could walk up to you and whisper.
The possibility of what we could have for we would
Have each other and you wouldn’t have to stand alone
Again for I’d always be there by your stand.
My sweet whispers, you will always remember when
We are apart for just a short time, for I can’t stay away
from you too long.
The memories of those whispers will always be on my mind
if only I had the guts to tell you that day.
Maybe then these whispers would be a shared memory.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
I’m on borrowed time with you
Not a minute goes by that I don’t
Treasure our moments together.
But soon I fear the time will run
Out before I have yet to say all I have
to say.
Maybe I can borrow a little more time
Before it all runs out and things are left
Without the closure it deserves.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
That you think this is not possible because your scared?
Is it possible that something like this could be real and it all started with words then action?
Is it possible for you to wait longer and not give up hope?
Is it possible that time will fix this situation?
Is it possible that while your gone that you will forget and move one without looking back?
Is it possible that you will be more human and less robotic when it comes to expressing yourself?
Is it possible your shy and you don’t even know it?
Is it possible to write anymore about you without you knowing it’s about u?
Is it possible your waiting for the feeling to not be so painful so you can move on?
Is it possible you can’t stop thinking about her?
Is it possible you shut down when someone gets to close and you feel threaten or intimated ?
Is it possible to ever truly get it all from you and feel the possibility that what I felt at the beginning when I felt it was possibly with u is true?
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
It’s Saturday but here is yesterdays Free flow Fridays with Laura again! You can find this weeks writing prompt on her website: Free Flow Fridays I’m so excited to see what I can come up with for this exercise.
This moment, how my excitement of seeming
this water flowing so beautifully.
I guess that day was exciting and was a great memory of friends that are dear to me.
Like this river the memories of that day has floated away and every now and then
I look over my pictures of that day and I remember how I felt in that moment.
The excitement was overwhelming and filled me with joy a moment, a memory I will
store away in a folder for another day.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Disappointment you and I are old friends
You see when I think to highly of someone
there you are peaking around the corner.
Waiting for your moment to come when that
person lets me down and they fall from that throne I put them on.
Maybe disappointment your been such a good friend for you warned
me that I shouldn’t depend so much on others for we are all human
and we all make mistakes or things come up.
You were only looking out for me and you taught me so much but
I don’t want to be disappointed anymore with the things I can control.
But I know you will always be around for things in life have a way of not
working out, but I will welcome you because sometimes it’s good to see an
old friend again.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Oh how beautiful you are
from your one of a kind plants, flowers, people.
We wake up to you everyday.
We appreciate you for you, you are our home and you give so much to us
but we take you for granted everyday as well.
We say we love you, yet we do harmful things to you.
Oh earth what have we done to you!
Will you ever forgive us for our crimes against you?
Will we ever stop hurting you and work together to make you a better place?
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
I’m locked out of this world a place we call home
A place that keeps us warm when we are cold.
A place that sometimes feels welcoming and other
times a place we feel like an outsider.
Being locked out isn’t so bad this time around
for it’s so nice outside that maybe I’ll take a walk.
The sun is shining and the flowers are blooming, and
the bugs are all around but even they can’t ruin my good mood.
I welcome being locked out today, for looking in on the outside
isn’t so bad today.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
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