You have come and gone, yet you seem to think you are wanted back again with everything being below zero and it’s not safe to be outside for very long or at all.
There you are a bird waiting for the storm to pass but, knowing it’s getting too cold for you to stay here watching the snow fall down and down.
You know your time to fly on will come soon and I hope it comes before it is too late for you because, this storm is no joke.
or the situation but, I do know that I’m not planning to stick around for long.
To lose ones self in a place that sucks you dry and spits you out as if you deserve what has been thrown your way.
You feel like your on the edge of falling and just when you have hope that you can come back from this, they pile more crap on you until you break under pressure.
Letting it go feels freeing and I’m not going back to the stress but, until I let it all go I will not ever truly have the peace and respect I deserve.
There is no way to go backwards in this friendship.
And there is no room to go forward and build on the now
for there hasn’t been a now since we stopped talking so much.
We just live our lives one day at a time and once in a while you pop up on my mind and I reach out but even that little of time doesn’t show how much we still care about each other.
Not knowing when or how it will end makes me feel sad but, I still have to live the live that was given to me so I don’t have time to sit and wonder the what if’s.
is pure and so full of goodness that I almost forget your human too.
You care even after all the wrong has been thrown your way.
You still hold on even though you realize no one else would and still you stand strong by their side.
You have your moments but, you don’t want to keep feeding the fire and so you turn away from those that are just purely wrong but lashes out at others because they feel they can.
They choose to be something you won’t tolerate for the long haul, you’re looking for away from this evil that tries to turn you towards their way.
But, you know and you see there is no good going down that path and in the end you know what will become of that person but you won’t fall down with them.
You’ve tried to help them the best that you can but, they keep slapping your hand away and doing everything on their own.
You are polite to them and try to not let them get to you even though you want to say something so bad, even you know the battle is not worth fighting.
want to overcome the things that feel like I’m chained to and at the moment I am feeling too weighted down to move forward.
First I must know what I am fighting against.
Secondly I must be willing to give it all that I have and more.
Thirdly I must care what weakness I saw because that flaw will help me not just get through it but truly heal from it when I am done.
The wound that will come open will close beautifully and there will be no more doubt in my mind that I can get through it if I just believe and have faith that God is holding my hand through it all .
that I feel you near me is breath-taking and every smile that appears on my face is because of you.
The day is long but I am grateful for the moments that we get together and I don’t think about how tired I am at the end of the day for the day was great.
Every little piece of me that I give to you will not be regretted later on in life even if things change between us.
I know that in these moments I am living with no fear and no worry that something will be missing if things just don’t be the way we want it to be.
There are moments that we can’t control and I know in those moments spent with you that I am okay with feeling like I’m falling so fast that you couldn’t catch me if you tried.
I know that there is so much going on but I know that with you the darkness just doesn’t seem to exist.
Because all I see is the light shining around us and anything bad or evil seem at bay when it is our time to be one.
Our time to be what each other needed the most and not just for a short time but for as long as we trust that things will work out in the end.
Rather we are more than friends or just friends because I know now that both our lives won’t going anywhere fast apart.
But, now we are moving so well that things will truly be something to tell in the future to our kids.
books all around me but, nothing is organized in this pile of mess
But, I need to find one that I’ve been looking for and I know that if I don’t find it fast this assignment won’t turnout as great as I know it will be.
I have little over an hour left before I have to go home and get ready for work and then spend hours trying to make everyone else happy while I try to keep a smile on my face and not snap.
I wish things were different and I wasn’t going down this path again.
I feel the cold covering my body again as the cold blows through my town.
A place I rather not be but, for the time being I am stuck here to play with those I rather now see or hear from.
I want to be in my own way and not be able to be satisfied by the end results of this one journey.
I know that wishing won’t make things happen quicker or for things to improve or move forward only action will help and right now I feel like the battle is losing on my side and I am too weak to help pick up the pieces now.