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I believed you when you looked me in my eyes and said you knew why he left but you lied.
For you thought you had a lifetime to cover up that lie.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Month: February 2016
The horrible cold!
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My mind is in a fog that writing anything or even really thinking about anything is to much for me to handle.
But the stubborn side of me is trying to get it all done but my sickness is clouding all my thoughts.
My body is calling for a break for it wants to lay down and sleep the day way.
But your mind doesn’t want to waste or lose a day because of a dumb old cold.
Yet in the end the cold wins and I soon lay down for I have been defeated.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Trying to figure it out!
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It’s dark outside and all I can think of is will you come rescue me.
I don’t want to be alone, I don’t want to wake up feeling scared.
I want to feel protected and hopeful and wrapped up in your arms.
I’m hopeless romantic and I know that for now it’s only just another movie.
Life doesn’t work that way and things don’t just happen like that.
Maybe you fall for the wrong person but the right guy doesn’t just happen to be at your next getaway vocation.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Trapped in this maze called Life!
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I can’t take back the time I have invested and so I sit here.
Thinking of the past, the present the in between moments
that lead me to this truth, wondering why this all feels the same.
Did I never leave when I felt my feet walk out the door that day.
I had felt free and at peace and now it’s like I’m walking in a maze
and every turn I take you are there smiling like you know something I don’t.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Sometimes words hurt
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The day you threw everything at me with your words, and it was like someone hitting me over and over with rotten tomatoes.
There wasn’t a good outcome to this situation.
As I tried to run they begun to hit me harder and I stumbled a couple of times trying to get my footing.
Then I feel nothing as I got too far away for your tomatoes to hit or hurt me and I am free.
I finally can smile and lift my arms to the air as I feel the pain slide away like the mess of the tomatoes from my clothes.
And I know this time I won’t let that happen again for I’m stronger now.
My words will block out yours, and if that fails I will just put on my headphones and walk away.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
The little things in life!
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I want to get lost in the possibilities of this world.
So I can get out of here an see so much more.
I don’t want to be tied down to anything.
I want to spin around outside and smell the fresh air and stand in the rain and still see the beauty in everything.
I’m not afraid to do what I have to do, but I do hope the outcome will be a good one.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Scars
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I just want to bury the scars of my past and move on with the life I have now.
For my scars of the past, are no more present than the one who caused them.
Written By:Deirdre Stokes
Uncertain
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I let myself move on from what happened.
But I never truly got over it, for these uncertainties keep coming up.
Even though your gone from my life and mind.
I need to face the truth that it was not me and that you made me feel like I was a bother.
I question that every time I talk to someone more than once a day.
Am I this person that clings so I won’t be alone.
And can I handle being alone and on my own.
Or am I to broken to get over that I’m not a bother and that someone will want me around.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Dear Friend
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It is such a lovely day today
minus all the rain outside.
I wanted to say I miss you
and all the times we were goofy together.
I can’t believe we’ve been friends for almost nine years.
There’s been ups and downs but mostly on my part but you stuck around
even when I was so upset you couldn’t truly understand what I was saying.
You are a true friend and only want the best for me and sometimes that’s hard
to accept for I don’t know what I want out of life yet.
But at the end of the day even when we don’t talk I know our friendship will carry on because every time we feel we can’t get through this day.
We wake up the next and everything is such much better.
So I just want to say thank you for being my friend and lets keep blowing the darkness away because all I hear with you is the laugher, the joy of getting to spend another moment with you.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
My eyes are wide open!
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As I realize I’m being pulled to you.
You have changed and I’m not sure how to handle it.
But as you smile at me and take my hand, I know nothing can break us apart.
Together we will fight through it all even when they try to scream and pull us apart.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Colors
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Colors oh how I love them.
From the blend of colors on a favorite painting to the breath taking colors of a sunset or sunrise.
Colors how you brighten my day or mood.
Sometimes we miss out on the simple colors in front of our eyes.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
The cure!
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I thought I knew everything about what I would need to be happy, to not feel sad anymore.
But maybe I was wrong about what would be the cure for me.
As I wander through it all like stacks of paper that explain every moment of my life,
going through the moments I thought I wouldn’t be able to handle.
Until I get to the moment of today, and I realize that nothing seems to be the same because I’m not the same.
I know you want to try to get to the bottom of what makes me sad and I’ve tried to explain it to you as best as I can and maybe just maybe you will get it.
And maybe I will feel okay for at least I’m not alone on this journey of figuring out myself and maybe I’ll find my cure one day but for now I’m just happy to know.
I’m all I need to be happy for myself and I’m the strongest solider following my leader God and maybe one day I will have defeated all that makes me sad.
And that is all the hope I need to be okay today.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
I just wanted your time
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Is that so hard to ask
Can’t you see the sadness in my eyes
as I stand in front of you, do I need to wave for you to help me.
For some reason you walk right by me and I feel the pain hit me all over again.
I’m just a ghost now and still you show no emotions towards me.
I just wish it didn’t have to come to this but I can’t go back
I’m not like a movie you can’t rewind and go back and stop it before it happens
I’m gone and all I wanted was your time.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Finally letting go!
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What am I holding on to
As it all goes up in flames
What do I have to hide as it all out there to be seen.
You used to be my past and now what is my present
as I sit here in the ashes of what I used to be.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
I wonder what will happen!
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I wonder how I would be if I truly let you be.
Would it help me not feel this way.
But some how even though I want to stay away I say something so you pull me back in.
Will I ever want to pull away.
Even though I want to stay forever even if it’s nothing more than just an friendship.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes