Tag: Past

Poetry

As a little girl

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Photo by Miguel Bruna on Unsplash

I always knew that I wasn’t  afraid of  what life had to offer me at a young age.

I knew that as long as I believed  I could do than it was possible and would come true and I would grow up being just who I knew I would be.

But, then came teenage years and then young adult years and then adult hood and I knew that everything I thought I would be would be not likely.

But, still possible but doubt from all the nasty words that were thrown at me at a young age made me question everything.

And even now as I sit here wondering what to do next and hope that maybe it will still work out in the end.

Kind of feels like I’m wasting my time on words and hope that may not happen because well I just don’t have the time.

For I work to pay the bills not to live out my passion and even though I work hard lately I realize it’s not worth it.

So many reasons that even if you get what you want the demons in your life can rob you of that happiness.

I know what makes me happy and I know that even though I’m helping at the end of the day I feel used and abused and the happy moments don’t out weigh the nasty/ugly moments.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

You

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had so much to look forward too and maybe you had it all planned out.

But, the day you prepared to walk across that stage felt like the day you had been waiting for.

You were excited and just extreme ready for this day to hurry up for you were just so ready to get it over with.

Soon it ended and the next day was a new journey for you and one that would go in a direction you never thought it would.

The struggle that became your life was overwhelming and not ending anytime soon.

You tried it all to just keep yourself together during this difficult and dark time, It was long and then the light truly shined down on you and things started to look up for you.

But, you became so busy that the little things in life seem not to be as important to you or you just didn’t have the time to enjoy them.

You wanted so bad to just have a moment of peace because you were tired of it all and no matter the little time you got off the state of your mind and body and soul were already ruined and damaged.

You still try to fix the damage that has been done because you just want to be at peace again and to just feel happy for more than two days at a time.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

So much

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was left behind that day and now the hole is getting bigger.

The pain that was left behind

just so you could get a moment to breathe.

You thought the pain would fade and the truth is the wound is so much worse than before.

Time didn’t heal it the way she thought it would and now she was trapped into dealing with it now years later.

The tears that fell down her face that day, brought up so much pain that it was so unbearable.

So she fell to her knees and prayed things would work out soon because she didn’t know how much longer she could keep doing this.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

Daily Prompt: Laughter

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The laughter coming from the back of the store could be heard from the front door and it made you just happy to hear someone having a good moment in there long work day.

You begin to think that without laughter things would be so much more stressful and less enjoyable.

Because, laughter can burn away all the things that make you feel like you just can’t wait for this day to be over.

You work so hard but you realize what were you thinking when you decided to go this way.

Your laugher is so much harder to find and all you hear is a harsh voice coming from you and you wonder what happen to that happy laughing girl.

The past you was so close to that laugher that now you sometimes you  don’t know how to react because laughter hasn’t been apart of your life for a very long time.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Daily Prompt: Laughter

Poetry

Goodbye

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Those were the last words I heard from you 

and how much you would not forget me. 

The memories of the past are gone and I realize I don’t think of you anymore but

that day when you said those words I was so mad and hurt at the same time. 

Nothing could have prepared me for the day you walked out of my life.

I guess I never thought this day would come but when it did it shocked me to my core and I didn’t know if I would recover. 

But, now years later that memory only pops up now and then and well I’m not mad or sad anymore and I don’t think of you at all. 

Life now seems so different from before and I’m so thankful you let me go because I’ve grown so much. 

So thanks for the goodbye and closing of a door I didn’t need open anymore, I don’t look or hope that door opens up again. 

I’m glad to have gotten that goodbye and the closure I needed to let go and for that, I don’t fear goodbyes anymore. 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

Hopeful

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that these stressful moments are just temporary for my mind cannot think straight and when the happens everything begins to fall apart.

The circus around me does not crease and the people demanding that the show does go on is not the ones that are trying to keep afloat in the end.

No one seems to want to care or they just don’t have the patience to wait but the truth is I don’t care anymore and I have given up on things changing.

I have to change in order for this to be clearer through their eyes, not mine, for I’m not the problem and maybe sometimes it’s not them either.

But, there are so many people involved with the whole thing that there is not just one finger to point out when it all comes down to the end.

Maybe things will get better but, I just don’t see that happen with me being around and so I’m removing myself from the equation that is always negative.

The positive solution is walking away and giving up on something that is already dead and there is no beating life back into it.

Hopeful to get away and not look back is something I look forward to one day or week or month but in the end, I will not look back and soon all the trouble will be forgotten.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

Daily Prompt: Enroll

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I enrolled in a couple of clubs in high school and they were fun 

I got to paint and draw in art club. 

We met a couple of times and it was a great time to be with friends and other artist as well. 

These moments of great times didn’t last very long for the club soon lost the ability to go on without a teacher to sign up and watch and be in charge of the club. 

It soon disbanded and we had to move on to other clubs but, the memories of fun and good times still live on. 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Daily Prompt: Enroll

Poetry

I see you

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I hear you

Crying out

For someone, anyone to just hear you.

You want to be rescued from the pain that your hiding behind those eyes.

You want to be seen as good but, your past is so dark that you don’t know how to embrace the light that is coming into your present.

You want to be seen as the person who is now good and has been forgiven for the his past and now is living in the moment that can change everything.

Your heart just wants to be loved and accepted because well life can get lonely sometimes and you don’t really know whose apart of that life anymore.

You trying so hard to look forward but, the good times of the past keep flashing before your eyes.

And you begin to wonder what life would have been like things had turned out a different way.

But, you begin to realize that every struggle that you had come across was a blessing for your life is where it needs to be right now.

You feel happy and satisfied and even though most days are tough, you continue to get up and be strong and motivated to do what needs to get down because you want to be here when something new comes along.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

I’ve said

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my peace and now it’s time for you to let me go. 

The memories float away from me as the years pass. 

And, yes from time to time something flashes through my mind but I don’t miss you anymore. 

So I walk away from the things that remind me of the things no longer in my life. 

Sometimes when it’s been one of those days I catch myself thinking about how I miss you. 

But, I know the reason your no longer apart of my life and I’ve accepted that truth a longtime ago. 

The things that I thought were important and would last forever was quickly smashed that night. 

So many pieces that I had to clean up and forget about for today is the present. 

Holding on to too much would drive one crazy and the hole that is barely there would be too big to bear alone. 

I cared about you and I loved you but, the peace in the long run is the fresh air I breath now. 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

Play a round with me!

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Three Line Tales, Week 103

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photo by Christopher Burns via Unsplash
You’ll find full guidelines on the TLT page – here’s the tl;dr:
Write three lines inspired by the photo prompt (& give them a title if possible).
Link back to this post (& check the link shows up under the weekly post).
Tag your post with 3LineTales (so everyone can find you in the Reader).
Read and comment on other TLT participants’ lines.
Have fun.

 

Tennis a game I use to have to play back in my middle school days, one of the many sports we had to learn.

I enjoyed my time on the court playing a round with one of my classmates and I liked to win and move on to play the next person. 

But, sports weren’t for me and in the end the game stayed with gym class as I moved on to other things that grabbed my attention and never let go. 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Play a round with me!

Poetry

I wish

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I had all the answers for you

then maybe life wouldn’t be such a disappointment for you.

To shield you from the things that just eat me up inside when you hurt, it hurts me the most.

For you to survive and truly live this life I feel like I have to journey through the things that tore you apart and pick up all the pieces you left behind and slowly but surely build you back up.

So one day you can just simply smile because you are alive and the world isn’t as bad as you thought it was.

You will hopefully live everyday with a moment of clarity and to just stop worrying about what others think.

For you have all you ever wanted right in front of your eyes and the things you want to happen will happen and you will wonder one day who made this all possible.

And maybe I will leave a letter and I hope you will be grateful and accept that even though there are moments now that you feel alone.

Just know that I am always in front of you repairing and building the future path for you and keeping you close for the love that I have for you is stronger than you will ever know my dear boy.

One day you will be the man I always knew you could be and there will be a few people around you that you will trust and in the end they will support you through the end.

Just don’t crawl back into the hole of the hopeless for the future for you is more defined than you know.

 

Sincerely,

Your Guardian angel

Poetry

Denial

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I could deny that I don’t feel like there was so much more that I needed to say before you closed your eyes and let everything go.

I could have told you the truth and maybe then we both wouldn’t be standing on two different tracks but standing together.

Maybe I wouldn’t be so sad and you wouldn’t be so mad and confused and all the answers we both needed to hear wouldn’t still be mystery to us now.

Maybe your smile would be shining so bright right now instead all I see is a frown on your face.

And maybe seeing you know surround by the people who always have your back would make me happy because, I could just walk over and join you and spend the night laughing so hard that tears comes to my eyes.

You held so much apart of my life that now it just feels like a puzzle that will always be missing the pieces that make it come together.

If only I had the courage to tell you the truth and bring us back together and be as close as we used to be.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

The Truth

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is I’m trying to be okay with the change that is coming but, I too have my limits and lately it’s like I’m at them and yet I still want to keep going and not give up.

But, I’m aching and the relieve that I am looking for its not happening fast enough for me.

So as time goes on I am pretending to be  happy and just completely not thinking about the things  that do make me happy  for I can’t run now, not when things are working out right now.

The present is laying out the path for the future but sometimes the desire to know too much before the time is meant to be does more harm than help.

The results when sweet are nice but when ugly it stings and seems to stay with you forever even though you know what you are capable of now.

Nothing can stand in your way as you make it on that stage and smile because you have come such a long way.

I’ve been running from the things that I have no answer too, just to end up showing the truth and living in that light that you have given us so that we can be equip with the things that we may need when that day comes my lord.

 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Poetry

Daily Prompt: Neophyte

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At some point in our lives we were newcomers and didn’t know anyone as we learned the basic subjects of school like Math.

You walked in the school hoping that you would be left alone for she wasn’t all that worried about making friends.

Being a newcomer was something she was beginning to get used too and that it was okay to just have no one trying to be fake with her just to get to know all about her like the last school.

She had math first period and so far everyone kept themselves busy with the warm-ups we did the first thing the beginning of class.

So while we solved the problems on the board, He would check to see who did their homework and the one’s that didn’t and will try to turn it in after the warm up.

She wasn’t that good at math but she promised her parents that she would try to do better when it came to her school work.

So she asked for help and hoped for the best when it came down to studying and learning all she needed to know and do this week.

The tutor was a guy who was really good and math and someone the teacher thought would be a good fit for her and she hoped so too for she really wanted to learn math and finally understand it.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Daily Prompt: Neophyte

Poetry

Daily Prompt: Disobey

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As a child disobeying your parent meant that you would be punished

for you knew what he shouldn’t do.

But, you  do it anyways for the feeling of getting caught was just to great to sit around and be good all the time.

You hoped you would get away with the act but sometimes you get caught and you have to accept the punishment that comes with the crime.

And you learn from your mistakes and maybe try a different way than you did last time and maybe this time you won’t get caught.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Daily Prompt: Disobey