Not enough

Time has gone by for me to truly forget but I’ve forgiven you and now

I’m just trying to live my life without feeling like flashbacks of that day will break me.

I’m stronger than I ever been

I have to repeat that to myself everyday

just to believe it.

Or I fear I will crumpled up in the corner and not ever get back up

I don’t ever want to feel like I’m making the wrong move all the time.

That I attached to quickly and need to pump the brakes and slow down

To not listen to the voice inside of me when it screams danger or to stop listening to the lies.

I wanted to be loved so bad that I almost completely drowned myself and lost what was so pure about myself.

For what a feeling that was so confusing that it was never clear but a long never-ending cloud of smoke.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes