want to say more to you but the words just won’t come
and so I find anything to just distract me until I fall asleep.
And talking to you is forgotten and I wake up with so many
things to do that I just don’t play attention to the things that I can’t find the words to express.
I don’t know when it happened but it did and I know that no matter how much
time will go by that there is no going back and things will never be the same and that’s
something I have to live with and maybe one day you will read this but for now it’s what it is.
Where this will end is unclear but, I know that I am not the women I used to be and you have to accept that now because later will be too late anyways for me.
that seemed to close and just rip open over and over again.
As she put on the music and just let herself move to the beat as
she let go of everything that was crowding her mind and driving her insane.
The headache that was building up in her head was making it hard for her to focus on what was going on around her.
That smile she pasted on her face was becoming harder to hold as the level of her patience was slowly falling away.
But, then time was on her side and she got to get away and just let loose for a while, so she closed her eyes and danced to everything song until she was too tired to move.
And the smile on her face before she called it a night was a genuine one that she only showed everything now and then.
will I even know when the days start to seem different
like shorter because I’m sleeping more.
Or will it all seem longer as I read more and get lost in what’s in front of me and not in everything going on around me as it all just fades away.
And I’m all alone before I know what happened and maybe at first it will be sad but
over time it will just become my new normal and maybe over time I will accept that and move on.
Will I know when the time will come or will it just happen and I just happen to wake up one day and know everything is different.
And I feel different and only a few things make me feel connected to this world but all the worldly things just don’t do it for me anymore.
I just don’t feel that desire to crave the things that everyone else is looking forward too and then I wonder what I am I looking forward too.
When will I know this is it and there is nothing to go back too and I don’t feel sad about the things that I’ve left behind and the things that left me behind.
I’ll finally be at a place in my life where all that I thought I needed was never mine and all that I have now is all that I ever needed.
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