lack of words
my lack of presence
my lack of hope
my lack of time
my lack of energy
my lack of motivation
all leads to me not really making any progress on anything right now.
But, all that is listed does it ever really get noticed and maybe that’s the real
problem.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
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photo by Sharon McCutcheon via Skillshare
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I let you pour it all over me so that you could not hear from me as I became the art piece I always wanted to be, at first glance you may feel that I am something to awe and wow at.
But, sooner or later you will wonder why me and not you, this piece represents how messing life can get and yet show how there is still good things that come from it.
And that sometimes when it become such a mess you feel like you have no voice to share with anyone and so you choose to just be silent for the time being.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
to do that I thought if I just take the time to organize the things I may need soon would help clear my mind and help me create something unique again.
As I looked back at the board of colors I just knew whatever it was that I was going to make would be so colorful it would just bring a smile to anyone and everyone’s face.
I was thrilled to know that tomorrow I could be creating something new and beautiful if only the right colors would just pop out at me today.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
don’t know what you just awoken inside of me when you smiled my way that day.
You couldn’t stop staring even if you wanted and yet you didn’t care about getting caught.
I know if it was someone else I would have thought of them as a creep and not welcomed in my space.
But, you I have known for so long that it took me by surprise when you admitted your feelings.
I guess it’s been awhile and all I thought of was your acting strange but, I just didn’t see more when we just enjoyed spending time together and the jokes and laughter was just flowing between us.
We get closer and as the day begins to become the evening we start to lose the stream as it slowly comes to an end.
I still wonder now if those feelings will last and will I develop them too and how will I know its the right time to act on them.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Oh how I’ve waited for you to come along and help me have a break.
I count down the hours and days until you are here.
I smile just a little brighter when you come around and I don’t have to see you until the next week come along.
I want to not be stressed out before you end but I see everything coming and I know things will not be what I hoped for.
Things have been great and I know you will finally come and things will surely get interesting.
You whisper for me to stop complaining and just be grateful the next two days you have off and the sleep is so needed.
I accept what you have to say for I just need to make it through these little hours and things will be great.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
to let go and just drop the ball and make the question their confidence in me but the truth is nothing I do changing their mind.
And here I am again trying to do things for me and not for someone else.
I must be focus but, there are times when I’m just tired and lately the once energized bunny is now wore out and just moving by slowly.
I stop more now and take the time to enjoy little things because at the end of the day my mind can’t really recall much of what happened the day before.
I know that I have to keep moving and so much is put on me and I have to figure out what will look the best for me and in the end I have to trust myself.
This forest I’m trying to break through to once again see the open space where the air is so clean that I could stay there forever.
If only my dreams weren’t so lost maybe I would give more and do more.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
up my eyes as I think about the events that unfolded yesterday just because of one simple hello.
Turned into a fit of anger and the misunderstanding that could have been solved that day now follows me here today.
My mood so messed up as I try to figure out what I did wrong to cause so much pain in like three minutes flat.
I lie here wondering what will become of me now as your words haunt me and I know that you will now not forget me.
This ugly image you painted of me that day just seems not to go away as you look at me with so much anger on your face every time we meet.
Even when things work out smoothly you still look at me as if something is about to jump out and make more of a mess for you.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
will I fear the unknown that is pushing its way into my life.
I know that some days are harder than the rest but I must push forward and do my best because at the end of the day.
It’s just him and I fighting against the things that I that felt right for me and now They are not worth my time to desire.
I know now why I need little and want nothing more than just so quiet and peaceful times.
Nothing more to give but, myself at this point and as I strive to become the person I didn’t think was possible.
I can only just smile and be happy through all the struggle and pain I found the truth and myself at the same time.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
which is given to us
can be such a blessing
when things are good.
But, when it’s bad we feel like we’re cursed and nothing good will happen again.
Until a blessing comes your way again and you feel so grateful for this opportunity.
You don’t just let it pass you by for your tired of being in this same spot and it’s time to make the final move.
You know that everything isn’t solved because you decided on your own.
God helps you out and even when you don’t believe good things happen.
Maybe it’s because someone is out there praying for you to do great for they are out of the rough patch of their life.
And they are ready for you to smile again and be in the good times with them once again.
Maybe you will feel blessed tomorrow and maybe you won’t.
But, it’s a blessing to see another day and to not let the ugly things bring you down.
You know what your job in life requires and the best you can do is not let their insults and disrespect get to you personally.
Because once you walk out those doors you are not that person they can get too anymore.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
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