And I reflect on how much October gave me back my hope.
Creativity has been quite a battle for me this year, and it’s been rough, as art and writing are like breathing, joy, and just feeling alive.
With fall arriving, the colors of the leaves change and brighten up nature. Everything is so pretty, and it makes you pause to appreciate just how lucky it is to be alive and to breathe in fresh air.
Witness the cold and hot, with the weather not quite sure what it wants to be.
To take a real vacation to Paris with my sisters, of all places, and appreciate art, culture, and history all in one visit has made me feel blessed and renewed.
It’s been a while since I’ve gone on a trip, let alone out of the country. But I felt the love and saw the beauty and kindness that we seem to see and hear less of these days.
I felt the joy and excitement of a little kid seeing something great for the first time.
It was like something woke up inside of me, and now I can’t wait to see what the rest of this year has in store for me and what next year will bring me.
But for now, I’ll live for today, November 2nd, and I hope for more beauty and joy to light me up again.
Until it hits a rough patch, there will be some struggle, but like everything in life, it will calm down again.
The rough patches help me see what has been hiding right in front of me, and it’s time to regain some of my hope and strength as I fight some of the rough doubts and return to the calm water again.
Standing tall and looking from under my umbrella with a smile, I knew this storm wouldn’t overcome me.
Genuinely smiling at you in hopes you will see me.
And not just the smile on my face but also the joy of it.
For it has felt so long since a genuine smile has been on my face.
It feels like I have finally made it through the storm, and I am stronger because of it. Now, I hope to share some joy with you.
Before, I didn’t have much to share but the darkness around me, and I’ve never wanted to let my uncertainty and self-doubt leak into your life, so I hide it in the hope your good times won’t fade because of me.
But now my good times can mend and bend with yours, hoping that this smile stays around for a while.