Month: February 2019

Poetry

The

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last thing that I want to do is hurt you but how long can we drag this on.

I keep thinking about what I’m going to say to you but yet at the last-minute I

just close the message.

And overtime I will forget and move on and maybe I will be just too busy to worry about

how things are going for you.

I know that through social media how things are and so I keep moving forward and not worrying because you keep writing about what is going on and so I don’t bother to reach out.

I know I should try but the words that I want to say just won’t come out and even though I know they need to be said because I just can’t keep this going.

But, I feel like the guilt of knowing that I will hurt you is enough to stop me for saying what needs to be said.

But, the truth is I’m hurting too and it just keeps eating me up inside and I feel like I’m going mad if I hold it all inside any longer.

I need to let it out and be free from this and even though I so wanted to hold on to you for so much longer  I just don’t see how I could or even if I want to anymore for I know the way I feel about you isn’t the same anymore.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

She

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Photo by simon sun on Unsplash

was more than the frame she put her artwork in.

She was more than the color that flowed down on the canvases

She created things that were so beautiful it always was mind-blowing.

She was someone who didn’t believe she was good enough to stand in the crowd with others that called themselves artist.

She felt she just didn’t fit in and the way she felt wasn’t the way they felt and the connection some had with each other just wasn’t the connection she felt.

She felt alone in a world that always left her surrounded by people who saw or but didn’t bother to get to know her.

Or people who didn’t really see her and so she wasn’t even a thought to them, only a little saw who she was and got to know her and in time she trusted them.

She is an artist and sometimes a lost soul but, she is still trying to find herself and in that she is creating things that change and enlighten you on everything you thought you knew.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

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Photo by Amine Goma on Unsplash

a mummy I have become someone I wasn’t before.

I’ve changed so much of me just to fit in and now

I don’t know who I am or what I stand for anymore.

As I hide away because I took everything that was great and natural and turned in something that took away my true beauty and it doesn’t matter if I’m awesome.

For I can’t see who I truly am anymore because I choose to change and became something of our history and what I am now is taking away from all the good things I’ve done and what I have yet to do.

So many what if’s are running through my mind as I do everything inside the comfort of my home for the fear of being judged for what I’ve done and not able to go back to what I was and what I could have been.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Quotes

Quote of the day

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“The idea is to write so that people hear it and it slides through the brain and goes straight to the heart.” – Maya Angelou
Poetry

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Photo by Viktor Paris on Unsplash

a flash of light

you were once in my life.

But, as quick as a blink of my eye

you were gone with not even a whisper good-bye.

I want to say that there are so many emotions going through me right now

but, there aren’t because we had drifted apart and yet for some reason I kept holding on.

I know how you are and I know that the bond we had is gone and it has been for sometime but, yet I didn’t know what to say even though I know I should have said something that day to you.

But, I didn’t want to, for some reason a part of me doesn’t want to hold on when I know how this will end.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

 

Poetry

I know

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there will be times when my weaknesses will overpower me and I won’t be able to see my strength.

But, I can’t give up so easily just because things are not going my way this week or that day.

I try to keep my problems to myself because, sometimes you just don’t know who you can trust these days.

Life sometimes feels more like a job then something we grateful to have a lucky enough to continue living each day.

Yes, there are things we have to do but, there is moments when not doing anything is good for one’s soul.

Sometimes I see that giving up would be the easy way and probably the best situation too.

But, what will you learn if you don’t fight until you are too tired to keep going on or until you know for sure this situation is not the right one for you.

There is no moment better than the present to change everything that you can about yourself and live a life that feels good to live, one that leaves you with less unanswered questions.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Do

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Photo by RAMESHKUMAR R on Unsplash

you see me now

the beauty that blinded you that day

or do you see the girl who once so full of energy

Now so drained of energy that she looks like death is near.

When will you see the hurt that I’ve be harboring inside of me for too long it seems now.

When will it be a good time to tell you how I feel and if I do will you even listen to me or grow bored with my sad life.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Letting

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Photo by Ali Yahya on Unsplash

It all go as I dive into this book

reading about things I didn’t know.

Losing myself in a world that is more than me

More than the problems that bother me outside my home.

The words that are so powerful you can feel the emotions behind them

and almost see the scene of the story play out in front of your eyes.

As if you are in that moment feeling their pain and feeling their joy.

You are learning what they learn and building up your strength when they thought the weakness would be too strong for them to overcome.

And in that moment I am lost but a good lost

one that leaves me feeling at peace.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

 

Poetry

Can

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we just talk about the things that causing so much frustration around here lately.

Lets help solve this situation and then let go of all the things that should never have been brought in this place in the first place.

Let’s start to use our minds and hearts when it comes to the things that is happening around us right now.

We’re all just holding on by a rope right now and when I look around I only see one hand holding on and their all looking else where.

I think I’ve always known we would all go separate ways and even though I know when that moment comes it will be bitter-sweet for us all but, I know that we will stay close and connected.

For this bond that we’ve made is good and strong and right now we are all the support we got right now.

Together we can overcome so much but, we are only human and we do get tired at times and the fight to get back up is becoming so much harder to do.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Trying to

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Three Line Tales, Week 158

photo by Robert Hickerson via Unsplash

find my way out of this place, that I feel is holding me back and keeping me in place when all I want is to get out.

I’ve tried a couple of times to get out and some how they never seem to work out and here I sit planning my way in hope this time will be different.

I just want to taste the freedom that will come from me walking away from this place that makes me lose sight of what I’ve been working so hard for.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Trying to find my way!