me feels like everything is burning up and here I stand as if I have no care in the world.
But the truth is my world has been on fire for weeks and probably months now.
And no matter how much I tried to put the flames out it just kept spreading and now it’s unstoppable.
And all I can do is watch because I too am on fire and I know every step I take would just spread it more and more and I just can’t do that to those who have been so good to me.
So as it all burns around me and falls from the mess I now have to call my life, I hope soon he arrives and puts me out for I do more damage then I could have imagined this time around.
fog it is hard for me to see the outcome of things right now.
But I feel things will look up but it will take time.
And I will just have to find some patience and accept that things will be better and different.
For I want change and sometimes I want it to happen as quick as I wish the fog in my life would fade away but it’s staying until I guess I’m ready to do what needs to be done.
a mood and no matter how hard I seem to try to shake it off the darker it gets around me.
And I’m not sure my light will be enough to guide my way out of this mess I got myself into this time.
I know that if I try things will be better but here I am trying to see the light in this situation and it just so hard this time to get through the journey that feels like its on a loop and when I feel the change about to happen it skips and there I am again facing the same stuff.
There is no good outcome if I don’t get out of this moment soon and fast because I don’t want to be forgotten because I couldn’t get pass this gate of unwanted thoughts and feelings that trap you.
And once your in the ability to get out really is like living in a world with lights on and then it all shuts down and you have to use the strength and memory to get through it or you will be stuck inside your own mind forever.
I just hope I get out in time for I’ve heard the click and I know this isn’t it for me this time around and hopefully this will be the last of this torture.
That used to be me the kid with the nice summer job and no real worry in my life.
I just wanted a little extra cash in my pockets for when I got off work and hung out with my friends.
I knew some of my friends thought it was lame but I was grateful to have it and it was a nice change to my summervacation and maybe I’ll come back next year.