how I needed to see this beautiful pink sky with a rainbow shining so brightly.
For lately things have been a little to down for me.
All I wanted to do was smile and laugh and be at ease when it comes to the life that I live and to not worry or wonder what will become of me after yesterday.
Today is a new day and it feels like I have been blessed with a new mindset that blows away all the things that have driven me mad or made me so frustrated.
The time to sit back and let things pass me by is gone and for that I want to see more rainbows in my life.
For the light is so much more easier to navigate through the storms then if I just let the darkness win in the end.
many walls I have had to break down just to get to the center of who you are.
The journey has been quite tiring but the result at the end of knowing who you are and what you stand for has been worth it.
I wish you would see how much you mean to me and those around you and you would give yourself more credit when it comes to this life that you live.
We all make mistakes but if we own up to what we did wrong and pay attention next time things would be more easy for me and you.
I know that every hole I fill back up after truly getting to know you is worth the pain of talking it through because you are so much less stressed now and you are truly living now and doubt is something you barely worry about these days.
It is not my fault when you don’t want to pay attention to your surroundings.
I’ve tried to help from time to time but, at the end you slab me in the back and expect to not be corrected when you make a mistake.
The things that are going on are all important and serious in their own ways.
You don’t understand that this is how things work and instead of taking the time to see the new things blooming all around us.
You just keep seeing the things that have brought you down because you let them.
In the end you wonder back at what you did wrong and you still don’t jump and take the matters into your own hands.
You just figure you will do all that you can in the end and that will help you out when the door that was closed is now back open ready to take you hope and to a place you will truly fit in.
there with all the cold air and the snow that had fallen the day before and right now all that I can do is drink something heat to warm my soul as everything else starts to be out of whack today.
For once it’s just nice to be inside and not have to stress about what is going on outside my window right now.
I do not know when this storm will pass but I know that this precious time that I am getting doesn’t come around as much as I want it too.
So I am content with what I have to do right now inside a way from the cold for now.
much has happen that I don’t know which way to go and which way is holding on to the things that are important to me.
Am I just wasting my time trying to wait it out at this point.
No stress and no worries sound so good right now.
But, the truth is so much more bitter than what I expected and the urge to keep fighting for something that will slowly burn on its own just doesn’t feel worthy anymore.
Repeat this and that just isn’t worth it anymore for I don’t want to live like a robot anymore and move through life on autopilot with no emotions insight.
books all around me but, nothing is organized in this pile of mess
But, I need to find one that I’ve been looking for and I know that if I don’t find it fast this assignment won’t turnout as great as I know it will be.
I have little over an hour left before I have to go home and get ready for work and then spend hours trying to make everyone else happy while I try to keep a smile on my face and not snap.
I wish things were different and I wasn’t going down this path again.
I feel the cold covering my body again as the cold blows through my town.
A place I rather not be but, for the time being I am stuck here to play with those I rather now see or hear from.
I want to be in my own way and not be able to be satisfied by the end results of this one journey.
I know that wishing won’t make things happen quicker or for things to improve or move forward only action will help and right now I feel like the battle is losing on my side and I am too weak to help pick up the pieces now.