were a fire
would I strongly burn all night long?
Or would I be a fire that keeps going out and makes you work to keep me going?
Would I be a calm fire that burns brightly in your fireplace?
Or would I be a fire that destroys everything I touch with no care for anything?
For I just love to burn and leave ashes in my wake.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
and right now there is no hope in finding what was once me.
Being pulled in so many directions I just can’t keep up anymore.
They want so much from me but, if I ask something it’s like I’m the one being ungrateful.
How much longer do I have to walk around feeling like a zombie
moments of my day just slipping by me that I can’t keep track of the time that seems to be going by so much faster than I thought.
I don’t know who or what is coming at me first and as I try to keep up
I fall flat on my back and as I lie down, I don’t want to even think or want to get back up.
Lost to what I love and lost to those that love me is there any hope at this point.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
for the words that need to be said.
But, my mouth just won’t open up
so that I can tell you the truth.
I’m tired of holding and hiding it inside anymore
I feel like the unknown is here and I just can’t make sense of what is going on.
I want to say something but, I just don’t want to step out of line for I need to have a back up plan incase this all goes south.
I don’t know who or what you thought you were but, today I’m done being silent and trying to play along with you.
Putting my foot down and just allowing myself to accept that I am not an easy target and I won’t be pushed over and ignored any longer.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
in this spot.
Not just any spot
the same spot I get lost in everyday.
I try to shake myself from this hold on me
but, each day it keeps grabbing me harder and longer.
I don’t want to be stuck in this space for much longer for it feels like
everything that once was so bright is so dull and unwanted now.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Image by Bikurgurl
Sometimes you have to let people go and walk away from them when the pain is too much to keep dealing with.
Staying is just not an option anymore and so you cry and feel the pain and you walk away knowing that these wounds will heal.
It might take longer than you thought to get back up on your feet but, there is hope that things will improve just give yourself the time to heal.
Don’t try to jump back into everything so quickly this time so you will see the signs earlier on.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
want to stay anymore and so
it’s my time to run away.
I’ve tried my hardness to deal with this
but, the situation isn’t getting better.
The results are in and they have not changed since last time.
I know that my time is up and I have to face the reality that there is more out there for me.
Now I have to be brave and take the step it will take to get to the place I need to be for his showing me the way.
And I don’t want to waste this open door because you say you need me but, yet you show me no respect or Concern for my wellbeing.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
you want things to be great but
the truth is you don’t know how much
more to change.
On the outside things are just starting to fall into place
you know that you are becoming happy for the days.
Are seeming so much more calmer than before and you
can smile and be as happy knowing things are going up from here.
No more looking back for there is no one back there to hurt you anymore.
When things are looking good and feeling good too.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
know how I feel lately
for one moment I’m happy.
And I understand the ups and downs
but, now I don’t want to understand for
it all feels like lies and nothing makes sense.
This overwhelming feeling that everything is going to come crashing down around me.
Is so strong that I think I will know before
it happens and in the end I will be able to
walk away from this situation.
The bruises will fade but the truth
of that day will still stung years from now.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Been so long since I’ve truly felt this much joy inside of me.
I know there is so much to be happy for but, there is always this voice in the back of my head saying something is missing.
Yet, I don’t go running around looking for this thing or person.
For I wouldn’t know where to look for I’ve looked inside me for clues and I have come up empty-handed.
maybe one day out of the blue it will appear in front of me and the puzzle of who I am will be complete.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
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