Tag: Stuck

Poetry

I am

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Here breathing in oxygen I need

Oh how I crave energy to get up but

My lack of sleep has kept me at the limits of not enough today or yesterday.

Oh how I drive to just be one with myself to feel connected to all that I am again.

I want to be in my body, but I feel like grasping at the things around me, searching for more than I know, and hoping to find everything I need.

Such a battle I am in, and maybe today I will feel the hope of knowing I won’t be stuck like this forever.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2024 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

The year of 2023

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You showed up initially with so much hope to get things done. And I’m not going to lie; you were making some great moves and meeting deadlines, and the results were good, even with last-minute fixes.

You presented a great book.

But then you burned out, trying to do something new and uncomfortable and overwhelming that you were stuck and down for far too long.

And so you thought there was no hope or light at the end of the tunnel. And right when you were about to give up a familiar face showed you grace and offered you help and support, and like a new, energized Bunny, you were off to get things done, and wow, did you get them done.

And then you showed your wins, and another hand came out and helped you up to the next stage of your journey. You shot off like a rocket, and even in the rough turbines, you did your task and made your deadlines again.

Ultimately, the year was not all your vision, but success was there as you crossed the finish line in 2023.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2023 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

My mind

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It is full of thoughts and words, but for who?

And how do I get them out even though the feeling fills me?

I want to spill my guts, but the words aren’t even forming a sentence; just that I need to get it out.

Or the happiness and uncertainty could swallow me whole, and I don’t know what to do it does?

I should wait for God to help me lay it out for that person.

And right now, I feel your arms around me as peace comes over me, and I get ready to relax for the night, for it has been a long day.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2023 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I never

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Thought starting over would feel this way

I was off to a great start, and then I got stuck

In the mud called struggles and uncertainty, and here I still am.

I am unsure how to move forward as I sit here wanting more, but I am unsure how to get it anymore.

The drive isn’t as strong, and my life feels like living.

There’s no reason to push myself to keep learning and growing.

Even though those are things I want to do

Are there things I need to do right now?

I don’t know anymore, so my mind is running in circles, trying to figure out what I’ve been up to these last couple of years and whether I will ever make another move this year.

As the mud quickly turns into quicksand, I feel I’ll sink before I figure this out.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2023 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Like the

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Moon, sometimes I hide behind things in hopes of being unseen.

But sometimes, being something or someone different makes you stand out even when all you want to do is hide.

Too much attention can become too many demands, and expectations may lead to procrastination.

As you can’t keep up with being all or nothing and feeling like you failed sucks, you are looked at as something great, but you feel less than fabulous all the time.

And the expectations that you want for yourself are now impossible to contain, and your dream is gone like the moon on a cloudy day.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

There is

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No reason

Why things are falling apart!

Other than laziness and lack of communication.

The train is not moving and people keep coming to get on only to be turned away and go on another train.

I wish to get off too and not come back for the same problem is always here.

I don’t want to do it anymore but I don’t want the headache either.

To leave is the only thing running through my mind right now.

To stay is not even a option as I realize it’s just one more snake trying to bit me in a new location.

Nothing new of different about these sneaks and talks.

No point of faking happiness because it’s not what I feel coming to this place.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

The gaping

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Holes in my life just seem to becoming bigger and bigger until there is no safe place for me to stand.

For one wrong step will send you down a hole and what is inside is an answer I don’t even know.

So much light is around but the path to getting out is not even more than a line.

To cross will not be easy but I know I can’t stay on this side anymore.

Because if I do the only thing full of darkness won’t be just the holes around me.

For I won’t be myself and everything everyone sees in me will not matter or be true anymore.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Frozen

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in this spot.

Not just any spot

the same spot I get lost in everyday.

I try to shake myself from this hold on me

but, each day it keeps grabbing me harder and longer.

I don’t want to be stuck in this space for much  longer for it feels like

everything that once was so bright is so dull and unwanted now.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Daily Prompt: Façade

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Her facade was beautiful but the truth of who she was

In the inside was nothing close to beautiful.

But she used her looks to get people to like her but her words

Would burn them  up so fast.

They couldn’t prepare themselves for the pain that was so strong

It felt like they were burning alive and no matter if they screamed for help no one ever came.

And as she walked away from the ashes of who they used to be she would smile and start to sing a song, drawing in people to her like moth to flames

At first she seems like a beautiful rose you want to smell and carry with you everywhere you go.

But then her thorns come out and you are being pricked from all sides, no part of you is left without feeling pain.

You try to run away but you hit a wall that wasn’t there a minute ago, trapped like a helpless fly in a window screen.

You start to cry and wish you didn’t think the most beautiful things were the sweetest of all and you want to stop judging a person by looks.

And maybe if you survive her evil torture, you won’t make the same mistake again.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Daily Prompt: Façade

Poetry

I walk

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in and I see you and it’s like being hit with a brick wall

these emotions of sadness wash over me like.

Someone close to me is gone and I can’t seem to figure out

what is going on and so I quickly disappear inside.

As I let myself fade into the background and this other side of me takes over

and I feel like I’m floating above myself, watching what is happening but I can’t stop anything.

The feeling doesn’t go away and I don’t seem to be able to slam back into myself again, will anyone notice I’m not me this bubble of light and giggles.

Even though the other side of me smiles it never reaching her eyes and, the laugh isn’t quite right for it’s not music to your ears.

The things about me that you look forward too doesn’t sound like they used to but you can’t quite put your finger on why I sound different.

But all I can do is hope you will realize in time and save me from this person who is like a shadow of who I am.

I am the light and without that light shining bright inside me or reaching out to you, things begin to not be the same and the once room full of joy is only half full.

Not enough to satisfy you or me or everyone else who cares and is tied to me and you, will time run out before we meet again.

For the darkness always needs a little light of hope in it, and that hope of light is me so what are you waiting for.

Come find me and bring me home again!

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Where’s my support team at!

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Where were you when I needed your support?
There isn’t a day that goes by that the sadness that is now occupying the space that used to be the joy you bring.
They say it’s hard to kick an addiction or to do something like depression on your own.
But, what do you do when the people who were your support team is gone.
Not a phone call or email returned.
How long are you to wait for them to care again?
Yea we all have lives to live but when is it okay to stop caring for one either.
When do we wonder if they are okay or when do we notice they are different from before.
Or that’s strange she doesn’t usually reach out to me so many times in one week.
When did becoming an adult meant we left people behind.
Yea it can be true that some friendships don’t make it pass seven years or some don’t need to communicate so often.
But, when one reaches out can’t you at least reach back even if it’s days or weeks later.
At least they will know you tried!

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes 

Poetry

Daily Prompt: Glass

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Life is like glass, sometimes it gets

broken into little pieces.

And as you sweep up the mess to move on for better things.

You may miss some pieces and so the memories stay with you for lifetime.

As a reminder to not make the same mistake again.

But some pieces of glass stay stuck in a wound that never seems to go away.

And every time someone does something that triggers that wound.

You feel the pain too your toes and the memories are so strong, you can’t seem to be able to shake the off.

And so you tiptoe through life hope hoping not to cross any lines that may lead to glass breaking in your life.

For the pains of those cuts are too much for you to handle for a lifetime.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Daily Prompt: Glass

Poetry

The overload

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So much space between us that everything

seems so unreal as time goes on.

And I’m left empty-handed and the longer

this goes on the longer I fall apart.

But every time I see you I try to put on a brave face

and stand straight and put a smile on my face.

And hide the tears that are threatening to come out and

play out the truth that I’m not as strong as you think I am

in this situation.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

 

#MayBook Prompt

Wicked

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Your wickedly evil

You try to play me like a fool.

I didn’t see you coming

For I was blinded by your smile

But it really wasn’t a friendly smile.

More like a little smirk, because you

Lucked out and found a new victim to torture.

With your games you played with my mind

And I was trapped, until you slipped up and

Fell flat on your butt .

And  I saw through your lies, your wicked.

And I didn’t see you coming, but I survived

Your lies and defeated you once and for all.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

 

For the #May Book Prompts-Something wicked  this way comes

Poetry

What am I fighting

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For as I stand still here  

and look at you on this cold morning

and I wonder if only I had walked away.

Would I be such a mess with so many thoughts

flying through my mind at lighten speed.

Nothing is clean and I can’t grasp one thought

for my brain is starting to hurt as I fall down

and try to find comfort in this all.

Too much to handle and so lay here and stare

at nothing ,and I wish if only I had stopped when

the one and only thought popped into my mind

that night.

That changed everything and now here

I am pouring it all out and you stand there frozen

in time with nothing to say, and what good does that do

for me.

So I try to scream loud enough for you to wake up from this

state.

But instead all I do is break you apart into tiny little pieces as

you explode right in front of me and every piece of you I loved

comes flying at me.

And then it all becomes too much and I combust

Into tiny pieces and I am no more, like you.

But, it’s all just a dream and soon I will wake from this

nightmare of my truth, my fears.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

(Inspired while listening to: If only sung by Dove Cameron on the descendants soundtrack)