Month: September 2018

Poetry

It will always

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 be you who I think of when something happens to me

I want to share things with you but at the same time I know you don’t have the time to receive them.

I know that for some reason you are important to me.

Even though right now I feel like it’s like pulling teeth with you.

I still don’t give up on you even though I always feel like so much was unsaid.

Sometimes I wonder why I waste my time reaching out to you when I feel

So much emptier after trying to talk to you.

How much longer can this go on without me resenting you in the end.

Because I know to you everything seems just fine or as good as it can get and your always fine with that.

Would it just be better to let you go and move on?

That’s a question I guess only time will tell at this point I guess, I’m tired of wondering really, I’m just ready to breathe again.

 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I’ve

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realized I am blessed with being here.

The things that seem to be stressful and make me feel like I’ve got bad luck

and this cloud of rain is always around just waiting to pour down on me.

At any moment and my luck is just about to run out and even though I’m smiling

doesn’t mean that I am not hurting right now.

My time to cry feels limited because I’m too busy to slow down and just reflect on what is going on around me little alone time to feel what’s going on inside of me right now.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Poetry

I just want

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to scream as the same question keeps falling out of your mouth as they seem to come out of everyone’s else.

I want to say mind your business for I’m just too tired to have more than I have right now in my life.

If you want to see it happen so badly then you do something about it and leave me out of it, please.

I am okay with how my life is right now for it could be worse or maybe it could be better but who am I to want more than what has and will be given to me

In due time.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I have

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 so much to say to you

But, I just don’t think you deserve the words I want to say.

I think about how we started being friends and to now and

I wonder if our friendship was even something important to you

And now I feel like there is no string holding us to a friendship at all.

I feel like I’ve always been in this corner when it comes to you and only

When you felt like letting me in then you shared stuff with me.

But, now it feels like your ignoring me and you don’t even care about reaching out to me.

Why do I still care?

Why do I still worry?

Why are my thoughts still thinking of a friendship that seems like something in the past at this point?

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

 

Poetry

I just want

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To breath

And smile

And feel alive again.

I don’t want to hold back anymore.

I know that this is my time and I just can’t sit around struggling anymore.

I must take this step and do what I love first and let everything else work it’s self out.

I don’t know when my time will run out and so right now I know is the right time to make my move.

For tomorrow could be too late and I’m tired of regretting things I didn’t do years later.

I’m ready to say goodbye to all of you

For holding on to the past isn’t helping me now in the present.

The memories are there when all I wanted was five minutes of your time.

But, now I see you all as I hide away from the truth and just accept this is my life now without all of you.

I used to be sad that you all didn’t seem to care where I was or how I was.

But, now I just don’t care anymore and realize being on my own wasn’t so bad after all.

No worries or concerns for I know me, and I know how and what I like as I live a life where I come first and

If your lucky I’ll let you be apart of this life and don’t worry I won’t ignore your text or calls.

For I’ll be there for you like you were never there for me.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Peace

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I feel refreshed and relax with nothing on my shoulders right now feels nice

I know that I will always love writing and finding the right words to say or write down when the time is right.

Maybe some time things need to push to the side for you to realize that you have so much to live for and you don’t have to put too much on the table for you to feel full in your life.

You know what you want and only you can go for it and stop holding back because your scared that this is the end of all that you’ve worked so hard on.

Maybe it’s time to stop hoping for things to workout and just do it because you love doing it and if it works out in the end than great and not at least you took that risk.

I don’t want to look back and realize that I’m the one that ruined my chance not someone else and I will have to live with that and forgive myself and hope that something else will come my way before it is too late.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

This journey

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Photo by David Izquierdo on Unsplash

I had to take on my own 

to find what I had lost along the way. 

The pace was slow and steady

for I had nowhere to be.

No one to impress or

worry about.

This was my time to finally find out what was

really out there waiting for me.

Even now as I am back and things

have not changed much. 

I know I can handle it all being thrown at 

me even when it hurts and leaves a scar. 

I will still hold up my head and know that 

I made it through it all at the end with some happiness shining 

down on me again. 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

This peace

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Photo by Nadi Whatisdelirium on Unsplash

 

was all I needed as life just seemed to become to black and white.

The color that would brighten up my days had faded so much that I didn’t know

how my life used to be before the darkness took over.

I feel at peace with everything even though the crazy circus that is called my life has not changed much.

I am okay with the things I can not control and I try with all my might to fix and help the things In my life I can change to become better and smoother.

Today I am me again and tomorrow who knows what will happen but, I’m happy to be here to breathe the fresh air and to once in a while feel the beauty that peace can give me.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

 

Uncategorized

I’m back

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It’s been two long weeks and today I am back and so ready to just write and share some new pieces with everyone.

Anyways I hope everyone has had a great week and will be able to enjoy their labor day weekend.

It’s been nice to take this break and just find some much-needed peace and just let my mind relax.

 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes