Words tend to enlighten me
inspire me
hurt me
make me happy
make things so difficult that you just dont want to enjoy them anymore.
Words you twist and turn me inside out and yet I keep coming back to you with no regret.
Just hope that you will bring me more joy and delight.
Oh words what will I do with you in the end, I guess I will just have to wait and see what happens next.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
I want to be concerned
But, I can’t think straight as the long day tires me out.
I want to know that you are okay but, the energy it would take to ask just drains right from me as I fall asleep before I hit send.
Soon I hit send but, the time it takes for you to reply I’m out like the wind and soon a new day has come and you don’t end up replying again even after I answer you back.
Will this message after end up coming and going on the same time of day or will this cycle of hit and miss just keep going on until we both just get tired of playing in the end.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
I was so confused by the way you were speaking to me for, I walked up to you with a smile bright on my face.
Yet all you could be was nasty and cruel and I just didn’t have the energy to tell you off tonight.
But, that moment just kept play on repeat in my head until I just had to say something to you.
I asked if I had done something to upset you?
You said no
I said then why were you so rude to me yesterday, after I greeted you?
You said I don’t feel like I was being rude I just was tired and you must have read that as rude but, I was just not in the mood to talk so well let it go.
I said fine if you feel that was how you were not acting I guess I should let it go and move.
I didn’t see how that behavior was acceptable and the way you were talking now just confused me even more.
For I now felt maybe you had always been this way and now in the light I saw you for who you are and I didn’t like it at all.
Needless to say I’m not confused anymore and you just aren’t someone I want around anymore.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
I enrolled in a couple of clubs in high school and they were fun
I got to paint and draw in art club.
We met a couple of times and it was a great time to be with friends and other artist as well.
These moments of great times didn’t last very long for the club soon lost the ability to go on without a teacher to sign up and watch and be in charge of the club.
It soon disbanded and we had to move on to other clubs but, the memories of fun and good times still live on.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Like a permit I allowed you into my life and now I’m not sure if that was the right move.
I feel like lately that I’m just tolerating you and the energy that I’m using to not push you away is just tiring.
Why am I keeping you around?
This question keeps popping up in my head and bouncing around until one day I guess I will decide.
But, for now I’m so tired and got so much going on that I guess I will just have to just tolerate you.
I know it’s probably not the right move but, you are not making it easy on me and I feel like the many mood swings you keep having are giving me a headache and anxiety right now.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
The creature of the night tears through my trash can and leaves nothing but footprints as it leaves the scene of the crime.
I put up traps and somehow you know where each and everyone is and still do some damage.
I even put up cameras to watch to see what you are and yet you move too fast for the camera to record you.
I give up on trying to trap you and I start to put my trash somewhere else and at first you do nothing but then the footprints come up to my back door.
I didn’t know what you looked like until one night I saw you looking back at me and you were huge and black with bright yellow eyes.
I didn’t know what to do but at the moment I just stared back and then I felt your sadness and decided something eating my trash wasn’t the worst thing that could happen to me.
For I don’t feel like I have anything to fear now and from now on I guess I can live this way with my huge creature of the night.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
I want to be able to understand what is going on right now but the truth is I’m tired of being reliable and always jumping through so many hoops to not be rewarded.
The truth is I don’t want to understand the situation at this point, I just want to relax and not stress over trying to please everyone.
I want to rebel and just say no but, the humbleness inside me just can’t say no but I know one day I’ll just be at the end of my rope and using me will be no good anymore.
Maybe one day things will work out my way but, for now I’m just another puppet in your game and my move is not up to me for your control my strings now.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
I felt like you had an abundant amount of apologies for everything you thought you did wrong as if for everything said you had the solution.
You wanted to fit in but, yet you turned on the very person that introduced you to everyone.
And at first they felt sorry for you for you just didn’t want to be alone and soon lots of people were around you.
You didn’t realize that the person who you kicked out first would be the only person around you in the end.
No one was true to you for you didn’t show them who you truly were at first and by the time they saw who you were they didn’t know how to handle the situation.
Leaving you back where you started with no one by your side until that hand reached out to you and showed you the way out from the place you thought you needed all along .
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Like a conveyor your always communicating something to everyone and it seems like everyone is always in a better mood after talking to you.
It’s like being a child again and the things in life that are more difficult now were so simple than.
Now more people depend on you and you start to want to do better not just for yourself but for others.
You start to communicating more positive things just to get through the days when nothing seems to be going right for you.
The things you says always transport some laughter throughout someone’s day.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Like a cavity in someone’s mouth you are so hollow sometimes
I feel like talking to you is like a deep water well.
It takes way too long for you to acknowledge what I have said and sometimes I think you do it on purpose.
Just so that you can have the last word or for the sole purpose that you are left alone.
You don’t really care for talking or listening to others but, yet you want me to come around and tell you all I have to say.
Someday I don’t want to come around but, then you send me a nice text and my hope that you finally see the truth is quickly shattered around me when I work through your door.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
I had to stifled a laugh as the customer said some ridiculous things in front of me as I rung them up that day.
I had to keep it professional as they argued with their child in front of their grandmother.
I didn’t think it was going to end as they just going on and on, but soon I was done ringing them up and as they paid and grabbed their bags.
I just couldn’t believe what I just witnessed, somethings are better done in private and kept out of sight of others.
For those awkward moments when I had nothing to say but had to stand there and listen to something that didn’t need me to hear.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
The clue to solving the puzzle of my life is nowhere to be found
maybe one day I will get a stronger grab on what it is I’m suppose to do.
Because right now the feeling of drowning by the things that I don’t want to do or need to do.
The thought that this is it, this is what I grew up for just isn’t something worth fighting for anymore.
I want to smile not cry for the truth is this is not what I dreamed up, the words dislike and I’m losing it is all that is floating in my mind these day.
The truth is I can’t seem to find my way out and the truth is there is no helping me and the hole that is slowly sucking up my joy is not small anymore.
The words are not just words and the truth is right in front of your face, the eyes the smile can you tell if it’s real.
Do you remember how I used to look and act and can you tell me that I’m the same as I was before.
Get a clue this puzzle this clue isn’t about me finding my way but you finding me again.
Too many clues unanswered and for what I say, will someone look around or will you continue to focus what’s going on with you and when you feel you are complete then come back to see how I am doing?
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
When I walked into that room that day I didn’t think I would have an instant connection to you.
The way I felt it was unexplainable for me especially since I didn’t know who you were and what these feeling really meant.
You smiled at me like you knew what I was feeling and it made me feel comfortable but at the same time so confused.
I didn’t get to talk to you at first for I was there to focus on other things than the boy that sparked my attention.
The day seemed to go on and on as I thought of ways to say hi to you, but in the end you got up and beat me to punch and said hello.
From then on I’m not sure how to explain what felt like the missing pieces coming together and I could physically feel my life shift in a new direction and I didn’t want or cared to doubt or worry about the outcome.
For the first time in a long time I felt peaceful and at home and there was no way I was going to look back.
When looking forward was so much more than I could ever have daydreamed up, it was like I was finally living and breathing the air I needed to survive with an actual geniue smile on my face.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
I watched from the window as the dark shadow of the outline of your body stood outside the pond in the front yard.
You seemed to be in deep thought and I wonder what’s bothering you this time at night that you stand there trying to figure it out all on your own.
Sometimes I wish you would let me in when it comes to the troubles on your mind and maybe one day we will both be out standing by the pond just to enjoy the moment together and not alone.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
The movement of your phone woke me up this morning as your alarm kept going off, it moved around so much I was sure it would fall of the nightstand.
But, it didn’t and then silence again welcomed me back to my sleep and I didn’t question where you were when all this was going on for the only thing on my mind was going back to sleep.
Soon the sun was waking me up again and the phone that had woken me up hours ago was still siting there all alone and that was strange for you go nowhere without that phone.
As I reached over to get my phone and call you at work, I realize my phone is gone and so I guess my phone is with you instead.
I knew this day was going to be rough but, I had hoped that it would at least start off on good and then fall miserably.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
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