Tag: Past

Poetry

Life

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Can be light and so freeing

Like the breeze of air flowing into your life, like a lovely day in the fall, sometimes life can seem so dark, like the night.

You told me to keep quiet for who knows what’s lurking in the shadows.

But my voice is like a bird. Sometimes, it can’t be silent to protect those who play the victim card all the time out of fear of being turned in because they’re always looking for a way to blame others for the problems they don’t want to face.

To be silent again feels like being that little girl who had a voice but was too afraid to speak up for fear of others turning on her.

But I’m not that little girl anymore, and I won’t go back to the past where her voice didn’t matter.

For I know her voice matters and so does mine.

So, where do we go if we can’t say what needs to be told in this place anymore?

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2023 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Your not here

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But I am

And what does that mean

Does it mean anything

Or does that mean I have so much left to do

And will I waste the opportunity you gave me and run out of time?

Should you have given me so many chances, my friend

Or should you have given up on me like everyone else?

Who am I now that you are gone

Will I ever know, even as I make a name for myself

I know it won’t be the same if you were the only one rooting for me!

You knew when I was good and when I was okay was just a lie to get by in this world.

You not here, but I know now you never wanted me to end up like you.

And every day, I will fight my demons to make you proud, my friend.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

In my

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head it’s always been you

But in reality, it’s never going to be you for your selfishness and self-centered jerk.

So every time I see your smile, I know the truth behind it all, and I cringe.

And I walk away knowing I’m better without that kind of darkness in my life.

Even though you blind others with your light, I know behind it is a cruel person that plays the victim too many times.

No more naive; I won’t fall for your tricks, so please just let me go.

And when I finally escape, I know this new day will be a turning point for me and everyone around me.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Today I

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Felt good

And sad.

And I made others sad but it’s nice

To hear how others see me and appreciate me.

I know that my journey doesn’t end here.

I know there is more for me out there and I won’t rest until I’m satisfied.

And that I feel appreciated every day and not just after I have given all of me and more.

I want to know I’m working hard because I know I can.

Not because you squeeze too much out of me.

And I’m struggling to keep up with your demands for me.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyrighted ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I know

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 I’m different and yet funny and nice.

But I’m not so great at being a friend.

Or at least that’s how I feel as the doors of friendship keep shutting on me.

Maybe I withdraw from the world just a little bit too much.

I guess I’m better at disappearing into a book or a movie.

But, I’m so great if you could get past that all for I have a lot to give but shyness is a big part of who I am.

But I don’t let it slow me down for I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in this place of feeling so lost about who I am and what I meant to do.

 I know I pray and that there are few that stuck with me to the end but, maybe sometimes it would be nice to have just a little more support.

 

 But who knows maybe this is how it’s meant to be for just me.

 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I didn’t expect to hear

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 Sunday Writing Prompt “Phone Call”

from you again.

So when you called me it was such a surprise

That I almost dropped my phone and ending the call before it started.

You said you’ve missed me and it’s been long enough since the last time we’ve talked.

I didn’t know what you expected me to say since I haven’t thought much about you since that day we no longer were friends.

A friendship that felt so right, we were so connected and the trust was so strong it was like we were meant to be friends for life.

But, that all changed and I’m fine with how life turned out for me once you were gone.

 You apologize for how things ended and ask if we can start talking again?

I didn’t want to say yes but saying no felt like I had been holding a grudge against you all these years.

But I haven’t been because I didn’t think about you at all and if I did it was once in a blue moon.

So I said yes but told you don’t expect much from me for I’m not the same person you used to know.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

I didn’t expect to hear

Poetry

It seemed

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Image by Bikurgurl

so long ago that I was playing on a playground and it keeps me busy as I ran around with my sisters and friends, to just laugh and enjoy the little things in life. 

To just enjoy the sun shining so brightly and the fresh air all around us as we played for hours and then the minute the street lights came on we would run home and rest up for tomorrow would be another opportunity to play again. 

The joy of being young and hopeful that my future was so bright and nothing would end up getting in my way. 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes

Childhood!

 

Poetry

Thank you

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for letting me go

for letting me down

for making me sad

for making me grow up.

For making me finally know that maybe being alone wasn’t something to fear.

For knowing I needed to be able to do things on my own and that I didn’t need anyone to fix me but, my God and to finally just be me.

For knowing that even though you would remember me for the rest of your life, I would forget you and would resent you until the last memory faded away from my mind.

And until I read some old messages between us I wouldn’t have thought of you and now I am erasing you again and I wanted to say thank you once more before I close this chapter again and bury you away again.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Letting

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go of the past again as I stubble a pond some old notes.

And for a second it feels as if I’m back in that moment and for a second I feel those emotions again.

And soon the note is falling to the ground and I don’t want to pick up again.

But I do and soon it is ripped up and is now in pieces and as I place them all in the trash.

It feels like I’ve been thrown back into the present and I’m feeling good for I know what’s in the past can’t get to me anymore.

For in the present I am and there is no going back for those moments have expired.

I have no desire to think of what if’s for I have moved forward in my life and where there used to be no answers and just questions.

Is now I have answers and still questions to ask but the peace that I longed for is more present than before.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Copyright ©️ 2015 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

The

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words keep going on even when you are gone.

Like a light left gone at night when you fell asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow.

You are like a song everything that has or will be said will be remembered and memorized until something else comes along and replaces it.

To feel like the weight of what you are is crushing me sometimes would be an understatement.

The feeling of you words is like a hand that keeps choking you only to give you a little bit of time to catch your breath before the process starts up all over again.

You are my weakness and yet I have no desire to go near you right now even if I know seeing you won’t be the end of me now.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Like my

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Photo by Boudewijn Huysmans

 

Childhood you were left in the past for I didn’t need to hold you anymore when my days were hard and I just couldn’t understand how cruel people could be. 

I knew that the day would come when I could hand this all without the comfort you provided for me. 

It was time for me to be a big kid and let go of my childhood toys and embrace the new things the world had to offer me for these toys were farther more durable than you ever were to me. 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Left behind!

Poetry

Fall

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You have arrived but I have yet the time to enjoy you.

i remember the days when  I would play outside and enjoy our time together.

How I would swing on that old tire swing with no care in the world.

Just lost in my thoughts with nowhere to go.

Just enjoying the weather and this moment where I’m free to breathe and truly know this day will be a good one.

Oh Fall don’t go by so quickly now for I would love to enjoy you just a little more.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I remember

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Photo by Blaise Vonlanthen on Unsplash

those days when I couldn’t just laugh off all the bullshit you would spit at me.

I would think about all the ugly you said to me and how I didn’t at the time  wonder what was wrong with you.

I just looked at the target on my back and thought what was wrong with me, now I know nothing was wrong with me but back then I was an easy target.

Even though I fought back for I knew this anger towards me had nothing to do with me, for your darkness was not my fault and the light that could have shined down on you was not being blocked by me.

Now if you have a problem or something to say to me, say because I may hold my peace or laugh right in your face for I know who I am and what I have and nothing you say or do will ever take my smile or laugh away.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I wonder

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if you remember me to this day like you said you would and if I still flash in your mind from time to time.

Do the memories of me bring on sadness and regret or just the joy we experience in the time we knew each other.

I know the memories come and go only when my mind has the time to slow down from the busy life that I am living.

Only in these times when my mind sees something that used to be apart of our daily routine than to I think of you.

The past that only pops up when the stress is fading away and some of the better moments in my life comes back to me and always puts a smile on my face.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Were

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Photo by Catherine McMahon on Unsplash

 

You happy when you set me free from this life you said had so much more to offer me these days.

Did you ever think about how I really would feel about you leaving me that day and how long it took me to get to this place of peace I’m living in now.

I reach up to the sky and I feel so blessed to feel the light shining down on me this day.

I know that who I am today is because of me and that day you walked away from me, made me realize how much I was leaning on you and not standing on my own two feet.

I need to be balance of myself before I could ever really lean on someone else and now I’m more happy than I could like possible.

 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes