If I was surrounded by a bubble and had to go through life with it protecting me from germs and people anything that could hurt me.
I feel sometimes I want that bubble to protect me from all the crazy things that are going on in my life right now for I feel like people are getting to close.
I want to have wall up that will truly keep people out and not have this worry that they are going to act out because things are not going their way and I’m the only one around for them to come for me.
I am lost in the feeling that this bubble is about to be popped and I’m right back where I started from with the people who feel having a layer of protection is not what they are looking for.
I just want to go back to the day when I was a little kid and blowing bubbles on a sunny day was something to look forward too.
will come and what it holds no one will know but him, my God.
Things may look good tomorrow and all the frustration that is going on is really starting to eat at me.
I try to be strong and fight back but there is so much I have to go through that I just can’t seem to make myself come to the terms that it all going to work out.
Will tomorrow give me the comfort that I need or will it bring on more pain then I want to deal with at this time?
As tune goes by I just hope things will change because I just can’t bear to keep things the same and I just want to get rid of the memories so bad for then the dreams wouldn’t be like this and I wouldn’t be waking up so confused and unclear of why they were in my dreams.
That somehow turned into long tiring days for people to grown to be throwing a tantrum because they can’t get their way.
I want to put them in their place but that’s not my job.
To just for once I like to live in a moment where there is no stress and conflict coming my way.
I don’t want to argue for it solves nothing and I rather just be in a calm and inviting place.
Days turn into weeks of dealing with grown children acting a fool because the word no just boils the blood inside them.
No one to blame but you because you are right in front of them, no situation is easy for you anymore and the days leading up to seeing them again just makes you depressed.
This song always helped me get through the tough times in my life, I just put in my headphones and listened to this song for hours and nothing could put me at peace like it could do.
It always felt like this song was written for me and no matter what I was going through it could relate to every moment and second.
I didn’t know what I would do if I didn’t have this song to listen to when the noise around me was just too much.
When the light just wouldn’t come on and all I could do was sit in the darkness and wish things would change for me soon.
I stand here brave enough to lead the way in this place that has been so dark for so long.
I’m not afraid of what I may come in contact with in this place for I stop fearing stuff a long time ago.
For fear held me back from so many get opportunities that I just grew tired of standing on the sidelines while everyone else is doing what they love to do and pushing so many boundaries.
me that is the problem and well I’m tired of being blamed for it.
How much can one keep taking without screaming for all the ugly to go away?
When will the good win and when will the bad of this world become a single digit.
So many why’s and when’s that I just can’t seem to keep track of it all and so I sit here listening to a song that seems to relate to what’s going on with me or what’s going on around me.
I don’t know how to solve the problem that I’m faced with right now, for I’ve gotten on my knees and I’ve prayed about it and I’ve waited and I’ve waited and still here I am repeating everything.
Every day and no I have not yet given up but, I know one day I will wake up and the solution will be there and I will carry it out and maybe I won’t have to do it alone.
But, today I stand strong and I look the worst in the eye and I tell it something that will blow it away.
Or something that will make it right again and then the darkness around me will become a little lighter.
Everyday my patience is tested and right now I can honesty say someone days I know that I lose and they win.
But, more than likely they lose and the temper comes out and the nasty words come flying out their mouth.
And they try to hit you well you’re not looking for they want to break you and they want you to give them what they want.
But, the truth is you have had a enough and now as the words come pouring out of their mouth you just ignore it until it goes away.
And as their empty threats are thrown at you, you just want to tell them you just don’t care and they can go stuff all their negative shit where the sun don’t shine.
But, in the end you just stay quiet and you let them walk away and you just move on to the next person who is just waiting to get what they need next.
The cycle repeats its self almost daily and you just have to have patience during the long period of times when you feel like you are being hit from all sides with no end.
You want to crumble and let it just smash you into non-existent but, you realize that you too deserve better and you too are human and just work for the man.
The frustration shouldn’t be pointed at you but, you are present and so you become the victim and the target for whoever wants you to be right now.
So patience is all you can have because in the end, it doesn’t matter how many ways you explain something someone who wants to be right all the time is not going to hear you.
So be the bigger person and act quick because if you don’t end it now it will go on and on until you get sucked up in the mix of crazy.
And trust me this crazy is not the crazy you want a point of now or ever.
even know what I was looking for when I stumbled into you that day.
I wasn’t looking and I wasn’t trying to fall for someone, in fact I wasn’t really interested in adding anyone new to my life.
I was happy with the people I had in my life and I just barely had time for them and now you walked in and pushed more space into my life because you wanted to be around.
You demanded my time and well I gave it to you and the little bits of time to myself became few.
And in that moment when I just felt overwhelmed because, I had so much coming my way that I just didn’t want to accept that this was the way my life was now and for good.
I couldn’t breath anymore because there was no moment where I just was with myself and could just relax and stop moving.
Time was moving by so fast that I realized I had wasted so much time but, not when it came to you.
But, the situation to fix my life had to start with me and well I have no clue how to save myself.
I didn’t stop to think that maybe you were the answers to all my questions and solutions if only I had asked you sooner.
Things would have been so much more different because, I wasted so much time not seeking your help where it counts in the end.
Maybe my story does end with a happy ending as long as I open up to you everything that seemed impossible will be possible for me from now on.
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