Tag: letting go

Poetry

I am not

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Photo by Ozan Çulha: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-standing-in-park-14692123/

Sad that I have to walk away

I am sad because the last straw was your words about how you see me.

After all these years, you still don’t get me, and I’m tired of explaining myself.

I’d rather you not understand and me not care than to care, and you still not understand even though I’ve made myself clear.

I won’t fight or entertain anymore, but I know I won’t explain either.

It might be harsh, but I don’t have the time to keep being sad or feel like you’re cutting me this day and that day and taking it as if it doesn’t hurt.

I am here for myself and stand for who I am now and before. And if you don’t get that, you won’t accept my change and growth, but I am not sure I can help anymore.

I am now at peace, and I have closed that door, and no matter how hard you knock, I know my worth, and you may say I’m too sensitive, but sometimes you know when it’s time to walk away.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2024 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Another

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Day

Another worry

Another uncertainty

Another moment wasted overthinking about something I can’t control.

Feeling like all want to do is scream and release the anxiety the stress.

The frustration of thinking only time will tell.

But I knew along that it was going to end this way and I really don’t know why I held on for so long.

I feel free as if I had been carrying dead weight around the last couple of years.

And now I can finally stand taller and think clearer too.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I’ve

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Photo by David Hurley on Unsplash

finally let it all go because I can’t change you

or the situation but, I do know that I’m not planning to stick around for long.

To lose ones self in a place that sucks you dry and spits you out as if you deserve what has been thrown your way.

You feel like your on the edge of falling and just when you have hope that you can come back from this, they pile more crap on you until you break under pressure.

Letting it go feels freeing and I’m not going back to the stress but, until I let it all go I will not ever truly have the peace and respect I deserve.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Letting go

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of the past

the moments of yesterday 

the moments of regret. 

The moments of doubt 

the moments of fear. 

The moments when I want to just stop being the best and just blend in. 

Letting go of the pressure it feels to just be me right now

The pressure of trying to help when all I want to do is curl up into a corner and get lost in a book  and just not think for a little while. 

Letting go of all things I wish I could have done and the things I will do even though I know I shouldn’t. 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

 

 

 

 

 

Poetry

I just want

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To breath

And smile

And feel alive again.

I don’t want to hold back anymore.

I know that this is my time and I just can’t sit around struggling anymore.

I must take this step and do what I love first and let everything else work it’s self out.

I don’t know when my time will run out and so right now I know is the right time to make my move.

For tomorrow could be too late and I’m tired of regretting things I didn’t do years later.

I’m ready to say goodbye to all of you

For holding on to the past isn’t helping me now in the present.

The memories are there when all I wanted was five minutes of your time.

But, now I see you all as I hide away from the truth and just accept this is my life now without all of you.

I used to be sad that you all didn’t seem to care where I was or how I was.

But, now I just don’t care anymore and realize being on my own wasn’t so bad after all.

No worries or concerns for I know me, and I know how and what I like as I live a life where I come first and

If your lucky I’ll let you be apart of this life and don’t worry I won’t ignore your text or calls.

For I’ll be there for you like you were never there for me.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I want

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to say that words are enough and well it just isn’t this time and no matter how many I write I know the way I feel just won’t go away. 

If I just get it all out maybe then things will seem so much lighter and maybe just maybe they will leave me alone. 

Will my questions ever be answered and will there be somewhere new to go to when this is all over. 

Will the path that I am on just go away once I move on to the right one for me to cross and travel on next. 

Will I look back on this day and realize that maybe all the answers were always around me but, I choose to ignore them for I just wasn’t ready to let it all go. 

For I can’t move on with the same stuff from before, everything new and everything old just can’t mix and match in this new place of peace and understanding for life is way too short not to have some tricks on one’s sleeves. 

 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Holding on

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to just the hope that you will guide me out of this hell

that you will help me find my way again.

For the darkness of today will not be the darkness of tomorrow

the words flowing from you mouth will not be forgotten today and tomorrow I will still ponder over them.

Holding on for your strength, your love, your protection my lord for no one can provide that for me than you.

You get me through the things that make me want to pull my hair out

You’re the one that makes me stop and think before I say something I may regret

The reason my patience isn’t as thin as it used to be, the reason my truth is out there for all eyes to see.

The reason I am always on alert mode, watching the actions of others and making sure I’m not following in their footsteps.

You’re the reason I breathe another day and wake up being grateful for the people in my life.

The reason I am as quiet as I am for my voice should only be used to cause good and not bring more bad into the world.

I know I am not perfect and that no one is and each day we all go through something and at times we want to be in their shoes for on the outside it all looks so good.

But, yet on the inside things may not be in the place you are when you are just being you, the person you know inside and out.

Shine because he wants you too not because someone else thinks or believes you are more than you are.

You know who has the answers and who doesn’t and maybe one day you will see you as he sees you.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Do you

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still remember the times we laughed together and just got to know each other.

Now it feels like it was all in the past and now seeing you feels so empty and pointless, every emotion shut down.

Like I had to put myself on lockdown and you became  a stranger to me and, now  there is no reaction in me when you come around.

Your now a ghost to me and there is now no trace of you when you walk into my life now and I start to wonder if all the time we spent together was just a dream.

Because the person I see standing in front of me is not the person I thought I knew, you tower over me like a warrior in battle and  I am now the enemy and there is no way you’re letting me get close.

And in the end I just walk away and shake my head for it’s so sad for me to see you so lost that you would push me away and, I looked deep into your soul and saw no regret or emotions at all.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes