It is where I felt at home
with your love, you gave me strength and safety
and even as I do things on my own, you will always be there for me
Knowing there is no end in sight with you as we start a new beginning.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2023 By Deirdre Stokes
A kind is all we ever want to be because standing out is what makes us unique.
So having a talent or a gift is something we strive for all our lives.
In hopes of making a difference so we can be proud of ourselves and when tomorrow doesn’t come, we know we left our mark on life.
And we can smile at our accomplishments, and if tomorrow does come, we can continue to work hard at what we love.
And while leaving in the goodness of our present moments, we may forget it could end sooner than later.
And so I try to count all my blessings and enjoy the life I have because complaining just isn’t worth it anymore.
Now I hope, and I dream and put in the work to get it to do so there is nothing left to wonder what if about.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2023 By Deirdre Stokes
Else in life is clear I’ve always had you to guide and hold me.
And as I lie my head on you should and my hand on your heart that beats on and on.
I wish the simple things were all we lived for, and the big things would be up for us to grab when we’re ready.
So I wouldn’t have to depend on you always to comfort me when I mess up, and maybe then I would be strong enough to get through on my own.
I know we’re not children anymore, and I have to stand on my own, for you have troubles too.
But I know this time your words will sink in, and I am worth it, and I’m meant for so much more.
But I have to believe it, too, to do something about it.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes
I needed to hear those kind words today.
But the words touched me in a way that I can’t go on feeling the same way I have before.
I can’t keep holding myself back from the possibility that something significant may happen to me if I try.
That I am open to the things, I’ve closed myself off to.
That hiding hasn’t made me feel any better than if I was in sight of you.
One day it could be me, and even today, it’s not.
I’m okay with that, but I know I’m open to it all, no matter what happens from this moment forward!
Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes
But I am
And what does that mean
Does it mean anything
Or does that mean I have so much left to do
And will I waste the opportunity you gave me and run out of time?
Should you have given me so many chances, my friend
Or should you have given up on me like everyone else?
Who am I now that you are gone
Will I ever know, even as I make a name for myself
I know it won’t be the same if you were the only one rooting for me!
You knew when I was good and when I was okay was just a lie to get by in this world.
You not here, but I know now you never wanted me to end up like you.
And every day, I will fight my demons to make you proud, my friend.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes
Smile at you, and you smile back. It’s as if the whole world disappears.
And everything I was whining and complaining about doesn’t matter anymore.
Because I realize when you are happy, all the people who don’t like me and go out there a way to put me down.
Don’t exist as you smile my way, and it makes me realize tough skin, and you will get me through it all.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes
to play your silly games anymore.
Tried to be the bigger person and stay up and be truthful to you.
But then you lied and thought I was too much out of the loop to find out what you’re up to.
But here I am too tired to care but not too tired to walk away and not look back.
As I cherish my rest and now know, sometimes the chase isn’t worth it and when I’m ready I’ll find someone else.
And there will be no games, just the truth and a fun time together.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes
To be me even though I am different and sometimes weird.
I wouldn’t trade who I am for anyone else just to fit in.
Who I am is who God made me be, and how can I want to change for someone else, especially for someone who sins like me and has insecurities like me?
Who has fears and is judged sometimes like me.
Someone who wants one day to be seen for who they are outside and inside.
Someone who wants to be free and happy and at peace just like me, for I know who I am, and I accept who I am, and sometimes it is hard being me.
But I will stand by myself until the end because I know no one else will.
I see the real me in the mirror, and I feel the real me when others don’t know the truth behind my smile or words.
I long to be free from my cage of uncertainty, but even in those moments, I see pieces of who I am meant to be.
And I long to be her and to stop holding myself back, for only I am in my way now.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes
I don’t want to get back up again like lying in a cold pool of water
And knowing I should get up and not let myself get too cold, but I don’t
For sometimes I just need to feel it all and then let it all out before I get back up again.
And show the world you can throw so much at me, but I will get up even if each time it may take longer for me to get back up again.
Sometimes you are the one pushing me down when things look too good for me, and you feel things need to be stirred up.
So, you throw me off my game and throw me down in the dirt where you spend most of your days.
Sometimes I want to give up but then you tell me not to because I still have so much more to give.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes
Alone with myself, a nice cup of tea would be nice.
As I relax with lavender flowing all around me and I feel everything around me melt away.
I begin to see that I have accomplished so much and that this moment of doubt will pass too.
And as I allow myself to be wrapped around in a feeling of peace and acceptance, I walk into today with great hope.
Know that my fear can hold me back, or it can push me forward until the fear is no more.
And I have finished something I put off for so long, and it turns out it wasn’t as hard as I made it to be.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes
The mood as I feel the darkest winning today
And my words are not lovely but ugly and wrong, and my frustration is intense.
Not in the mood to deal with the things that make me strong and happy.
I’m not in the mood to do much, but I know I’m grateful to be alive today.
And as my negatives slowly become positives again, I realize I’m moving backward, not forward.
And I don’t want that as I’ve worked so hard to improve, for I am my number one priority.
And yet I allowed my mood to set me back, and now I must reflect and refocus on what I want.
For I know, other than God, no one is fighting as hard as I am to stay on the right track and become who I am meant to be.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes
Will come I believe it as I sit down and start to write again.
I see you in the future, doing what you love with a smile, and you care about everything in sight.
There isn’t a moment of your day that you have to fake it.
You are you all the time, and as you relax for the night, you know it will end well, for you are surrounded by like-minded people who care about you.
And you know now what you can control and can’t, and you don’t let those things hold you back anymore.
You are brave and embrace everything that comes your way. And I see you doing big things and crushing it for you and those you love.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes
It warned me that life would be hard sometimes and that the tears keep flowing.
Like an unlimited River down my face when I’m too tired to say words.
And when I become too tired but still have so much to say that I have to get out.
That paper sometimes becomes not enough as I fill all the blank space with words of frustration and joy and whatever else I may feel.
Because sometimes I have so much to say and no one to say it to, the paper gets my words and my time.
Life can be so much more than I thought it could be, and sometimes it burns through me in a way that I’m energized to the max.
While other times it feels like I’m on my last battery life, and no matter how much I try to recharge, it feels like my wires are broken.
And I don’t know if I can do much but lay here and listen to song after song.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes
I walked on the path; I felt something I had never thought I could.
The ability to know I was going the right way for once.
Self-doubt just melted away, and I was proud of who I was becoming.
And I didn’t want to blame others for my pain anymore.
I didn’t want to give up so quickly, for I was fighting for myself this time around.
My worth. was too great to give up, and as I approached the opening, I didn’t look back.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes
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