cold as I walk through the darkness and my thoughts are all full of what I wish I could do right now.
I walk and I stumble through things as you demand so much from me.
I wonder when I became your slave and when my voice no longer belongs to me.
Am I my person or do you own me now? And if you do, then why am I doing better than you?
Am I to look at you for direction for I feel if I do, to be lost, we will both be forever?
I am so tired from the list of things I am required to do so that you can sit on your throne and do nothing but look like you are in charge.
I want to say so much but I just don’t care anymore and at this point you can be in charge for it just so much easier to be without a voice and let you lead for I know we will both be in the darkness soon or in the fire for you can’t save me or yourself at this point.
I’m not the one to wait around for you when you decide something is better.
You try to say you were blind to the good things that were right in front of your face
and your eyes are open and you want to see if what was once so good is possible to contain again.
I wish I had the answers for you but, I am long gone and what I had to offer is off the table now for you.
Maybe if you close your eyes you can go back in time and stop from making this mistake but we all know that we can’t go back in time and what is final is final.
I let the things that are so pure to me slip away.
So quickly I give up just so that failure won’t be able to register with me.
I know that the outcome won’t always be great in the end but I must accept that nothing in this life can be taken for granted for it always comes back to stop you in your track.
The possibility that everything will be as great as you think is a long shoot but, what’s the point in life if we don’t take that risk once in a while.
So tired of standing in the same spot feeling like you won’t accomplish the things in front of you now and to be told you’re not the right fit.
So many trials you had to go through just to get to this place in the end, makes all the doubts made up and the truth so much more than you could hope for.
wanted to you to know that I’m looking for a way out of this place.
I wanted you to believe so badly that I would stay and by staying I could be happy.
But, then I woke up feeling like this was not the place I was supposed to be.
There isn’t a day when I’m truly happy here and so leaving isn’t hard for me
for leaving the baggage behind is the best thing that I can do right now.
I know that you will miss me but, I’m not walking away from you
I will make sure to make you feel like the distance isn’t going to make you feel less loved than when I am standing right in front of you.
You are the best and you have picked me up so many times before and I know that I can always count on you and at then end of the day you will always have me.
You know that better days will come but you are in this box
and you want to fight your way out.
But the chance that its going to workout for you in the end
is so small that the hope in inside you is not even a thought.
You want to smile and know that the day of escaping is coming but,
the time seems to be running out for you and you just don’t see the possibility of you getting out in time.
You want to be bitter and angry but you don’t want to live your life feeling like negativity is all you can breathe in and out.
You want to live in the dark tonight or tomorrow.
You want to stand still and move enough until you know that you have accomplished the impossible and can smile at that accomplishment at the end of the day.
Knowing that the things of tomorrow will come and if it turns out great than you will smile and when it turns sour like bad milk you will get up and shake off the things that you can’t control.
And keep doing your best for this life is rough but you are one touch cookie and things will workout in the end for you.
that comes out your mouth hits me hard in my chest.
I can feel the lightning hit my heart as it breaks into a million pieces
and the little bit of hope that I was holding on to for us is gone.
I’m gone and I wonder what will happen to me now as you took a little joy I had left in me.
I float through my days on a dark cloud of hopelessness and I wonder when will the light come back.
As days go by my heart slowly starts to fix itself and I feel the pain decreasing but the memories start to haunt me as I close my eyes and you appear in my dreams.
Just when I start to forget you, you reappear and the pain shots through me and I’ve been stuck again and this nightmare starts to grab at everything that was in the light trying to erase my happiness all together.
I know I have a war in my hands and I have to fight tooth and nails to get out of this one and win back my sanity, my hope, my happiness and my peace of mind.
This time I will come out on top and my heart will be a little bit stronger for the next attack that will come its way.
invite you into my life to make what is already rocky more of a mess.
I know you don’t want to be alone anymore and so to you two people who feel alone should hang out.
Enjoy this time together and where there was one there is now two but, what if one is not thrilled about this now new adventure that has been thrown on to them.
The things that used to be quiet time is now someone else leaning over your shoulder trying to read every word you put down.
You try to relax but the light around you soon disappear and you are now being shadowed but a darkness that only follows you around.
You feel like you have a personal roof above you and well it breathes and makes corrects and tries to crowd you until you run for the door or anything that opens.
You begin to wonder what did you do to be stuck in this situation, should you have been nicer to that creepy guy last week.
Or was helping those five old people yesterday not enough to tip the luck scale for you.
I guess not for here I am looking over my shoulder just knowing that when I least expect it you will there smiling into my face.
Hoping today is the day I just accept the invitation you created and threw my way so long ago.
I am to smile at you and greet you and tell you that there is no need for you to stop bothering me for that’s what friends do.
Am I to accept this or just pack up and not look back for no time to relax can drive someone people crazy and the tension is just so strong it hurts.
I just need one moment or two or ten to just gather up what is left of me and piece it all back together before you come back and tower over me like a shelter I never asked for.