Tag: music

Poetry

I thought

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you could see though my fake happiness

as I keep moving forward with everything.

Even though all I really want to do is run and stay as far away from this mess as I can.

Stuck inside your head

Stuck inside this place

Stuck inside and I’m losing it

For I crave so much more than this little box can offer me.

I’m walking so fast that I might as well be running to get away form here faster.

Only time will tell if things end up working out in this situation and the timing couldn’t be better.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I am

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cold as I walk through the darkness and my thoughts are all full of what I wish I could do right now.

I walk and I stumble through things as you demand so much from me.

I wonder when I became your slave and when my voice no longer belongs to me.

Am I my person or do you own me now? And if you do, then why am I doing better than you?

Am I to look at you for direction for I feel if I do, to be lost, we will both be forever?

I am so tired from the list of things I am required to do so that you can sit on your throne and do nothing but look like you are in charge.

I want to say so much but I just don’t care anymore and at this point you can be in charge for it just so much easier to be without a voice and let you lead for I know we will both be in the darkness soon or in the fire for you can’t save me or yourself at this point.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

You

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can’t catch me

You can’t touch me.

You can’t find me when you finally want me

I’m not the one to wait around for you when you decide something is better.

You try to say you were blind to the good things that were right in front of your face

and your eyes are open and you want to see if what was once so good is possible to contain again.

I wish I had the answers for you but, I am long gone and what I had to offer is off the table now for you.

Maybe if you close your eyes you can go back in time and stop from making this mistake but we all know that we can’t go back in time and what is final is final.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I find

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it hard to find balance 

when each step is like standing on a balancing beam.

one wrong step and I’m falling and starting all over again. 

I know that failure happens but, right now I’m no a limited amount of time 

and I don’t have time or the energy to keep trying. 

I must get through this now or the next time around or my time will be up. 

I’m stepping in the right directions in the hope of discovering the truth to finally put it all to rest. 

I don’t need to look at my watch to know time is going by quicker than I can come up with the words that are needed to be said right now. 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Always

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putting my best foot forward 

only to have it stepped on continuously. 

Soon there is this cloud called darkness following me around and it rains on all the good that I do. 

I try so hard to not go dark when things become rough and tough. 

I don’t want to step away from the warmth of the light shining on me but, how much more can I take of this darkness before it swallows me whole. 

I know that I am strong and this too will pass but it’s been going on for months I just don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel like I used too.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Today

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I will stop trying to make this work 

It’s been a long battle and I’m sad to say 

I’m done fighting it. 

I know things will change from now on

but now I feel like I need to be in the background as this storm hits. 

I don’t need to stand in front anymore for I am no longer the leader. 

I will finally get to relax and just let it all fall to the ground and let the wind carry it 

all to a new direction and place. 

It’s time to say goodbye to the past and let the present lead the way. 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

The

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Power of words on paper

the power of words sung in a song when it’s good it captures you in an instant.

It’s hard to walk away or stop listening as you find yourself getting lost in so many emotions.

In that moment everything clicks into place, the answer you’ve been looking for just become so clear and so easy to do.

You know in this moment that you are truly free and that smile you’ve been hiding.

Can’t quite leave your face as you walk through this storm that can’t seem to faze you anymore.

For the weapon to destroy the bad things in your life is now in your hands and your heart and your soul.

You know his always there for you and even though you seem to let yourself whine and complain.

At the beginning and end of the day you are thanking him, your God for all the blessings his given you.

Your God is great all the time and when the struggle happens you reach out to him and he shows you the way out.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Every

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time I let doubt get in the way

I let the things that are so pure to me slip away.

So quickly I give up just so that failure won’t be able to register with me.

I know that the outcome won’t always be great in the end but I must accept that nothing in this life can be taken for granted for it always comes back to stop you in your track.

The possibility that everything will be as great as you think is a long shoot but, what’s the point in life if we don’t take that risk once in a while.

So tired of standing in the same spot feeling like you won’t accomplish the things in front of you now and to be told you’re not the right fit.

So many trials you had to go through just to get to this place in the end, makes all the doubts made up and the truth so much more than you could hope for.

 

 

Written By : Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I

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stand here to tell the truth

to not back down when they come at me crazy.

I’ve seen it all and heard it all at this point  so I’ll stand here with no emotions on my face and let you get it all out.

For it’s not personal on my end and every move you make I’ll be right there matching your steps.

Today isn’t the day that you over take me for I’ve had too much pushing me down lately.

And right now I refuse to let anything or anyone bring me down even farther.

I’m at the point that if you step too close I might bite back.

I’m a warrior now and I’m ready to fight back for my rights!

 

Written By : Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I never

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wanted to you to know that I’m looking for a way out of this place. 

I wanted you to believe so badly that I would stay and by staying I could be happy. 

But, then I woke up feeling like this was not the place I was supposed to be.

There isn’t a day when I’m truly happy here and so leaving isn’t hard for me 

for leaving the baggage behind is the best thing that I can do right now. 

I know that you will miss me but, I’m not walking away from you 

I will make sure to make you feel like the distance isn’t going to make you feel less loved than when I am standing right in front of you. 

You are the best and you have picked me up so many times before and I know that I can always count on you and at then end of the day you will always have me. 

 

Written By : Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Let

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me tell you about how it feels to be trapped.

You know that better days will come but you are in this box

and you want to fight your way out.

But the chance that its going to workout for you in the end

is so small that the hope in inside you is not even a thought.

You want to smile and know that the day of escaping is coming but,

the time seems to be running out for you and you just don’t see the possibility of you getting out in time.

You want to be bitter and angry but you don’t want to live your life feeling like negativity is all you can breathe in and out.

You want to live in the dark tonight or tomorrow.

You want to stand still and move enough until you know that you have accomplished the impossible and can smile at that accomplishment at the end of the day.

Knowing that the things of tomorrow will come and if it turns out great than you will smile and when it turns sour like bad milk you will get up and shake off the things that you can’t control.

And keep doing your best for this life is rough but you are one touch cookie and things will workout in the end for you.

 

 

Written By : Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

In my

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Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

Safe haven I read a new book in hopes of distracting myself from the things in life that just can’t shake from my mind.

Peace of mind is all I’m looking for right now and I just can’t wait to find it today.

I don’t know how long I will be here reading but, I know the peace that has fallen over me is so worth getting lost in this book today.

I know I needed this and I know that there will come a time when I won’t get to do this for a long time.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Crashing

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down on me like a storm brewing outside 

Thunder and lightning crashing down as every word

that comes out your mouth hits me hard in my chest. 

I can feel the lightning hit my heart as it breaks into a million pieces 

and the little bit of hope that I was holding on to for us is gone. 

I’m gone and I wonder what will happen to me now as you took a little joy I had left in me. 

I float through my days on a dark cloud of hopelessness and I wonder when will the light come back. 

As days go by my heart slowly starts to fix itself and I feel the pain decreasing but the memories start to haunt me as I close my eyes and you appear in my dreams.

Just when I start to forget you, you reappear and the pain shots through me and I’ve been stuck again and this nightmare starts to grab at everything that was in the light trying to erase my happiness all together. 

I know I have a war in my hands and I have to fight tooth and nails to get out of this one and win back my sanity, my hope, my happiness and my peace of mind. 

This time I will come out on top and my heart will be a little bit stronger for the next attack that will come its way. 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

They say

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Photo by Fredrick Kearney Jr on Unsplash

take risk 

so here I am playing with fire 

burning away the file that tells you of my past. 

It’s time for me to move on and move pass all these things 

that rock me from the core. 

Time to feel like the weight of the world is not on my shoulders anymore. 

Time to feel like a brand new me and take on the world with both hands holding on tight to the things that matter. 

Time to let go of the stress and relax for once for more than a moment.

 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I didn’t

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invite you into my life to make what is already rocky more of a mess.

I know you don’t want to be alone anymore and so to you two people who feel alone should hang out.

Enjoy this time together and where there was one there is now two but, what if one is not thrilled about this now new adventure that has been thrown on to them.

The things that used to be quiet time is now someone else leaning over your shoulder trying to read every word you put down.

You try to relax but the light around you soon disappear and you are now being shadowed but a darkness that only follows you around.

You feel like you have a personal roof above you and well it breathes and makes corrects and tries to crowd you until you run for the door or anything that opens.

You begin to wonder what did you do to be stuck in this situation, should you have been nicer to that creepy guy last week.

Or was helping those five old people yesterday not enough to tip the luck scale for you.

I guess not for here I am looking over my shoulder just knowing that when I least expect it you will there smiling into my face.

Hoping today is the day I just accept the invitation you created and threw my way so long ago.

I am to smile at you and greet you and tell you that there is no need for you to stop bothering me for that’s what friends do.

Am I to accept this or just pack up and not look back for no time to relax can drive someone people crazy and the tension is just so strong it hurts.

I just need one moment or two or ten to just gather up what is left of me and piece it all back together before you come back and tower over me like a shelter I never asked for.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes