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Month: June 2018
Reflection!
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photo by Marc-Olivier Jodoin via Unsplash
You’ll find full guidelines on the TLT page – here’s the tl;dr:
- Write three lines inspired by the photo prompt (& give them a title if possible).
- Link back to this post (& check the link shows up under the weekly post).
- Tag your post with 3LineTales (so everyone can find you in the Reader).
- Read and comment on other TLT participants’ lines.
- Have fun.
When I looking my reflection in this dirty water, I wonder who am today and who I used to be.
I’m not that bright person I used to be full of light and hopeful in the things life throw at me.
Now I see nothing good happening as the problem becomes unsolvable, no matter how hard we work our lights are gone for good this week.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
What a day
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Photo By Miguel Bruna via Unsplash
Like this path I didn’t feel like this day would ever end.
My hope for some peace and quite was not going to happen at least not today and I felt like as the day went on that I was losing my mind and no matter how hard I try things were not going to end well for me.
I don’t know why I expect more when I know the no relief is going to come for me and as my happy voice fades and the voice of defeat set in.
I don’t know how or why I put myself through this everyday and every week when I feel like there is no recovery for me and my mind is losing it’s focus and I can’t remember what happened yesterday anymore and even though my memory is still sharp for long-term things.
My short-term memory is falling apart like everything else around me and yes I want to care and deal with it all but, sometimes I just want to be left alone and not have to answer to this crap.
I’m praying and hoping that things will charge for how much longer do I have to stand here and fight a battle that just feels like it’s not mine to fight but I am doing all the heavy lifting because they are too lazy to help out.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
As a little girl
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Photo by Miguel Bruna on Unsplash
I always knew that I wasn’t afraid of what life had to offer me at a young age.
I knew that as long as I believed I could do than it was possible and would come true and I would grow up being just who I knew I would be.
But, then came teenage years and then young adult years and then adult hood and I knew that everything I thought I would be would be not likely.
But, still possible but doubt from all the nasty words that were thrown at me at a young age made me question everything.
And even now as I sit here wondering what to do next and hope that maybe it will still work out in the end.
Kind of feels like I’m wasting my time on words and hope that may not happen because well I just don’t have the time.
For I work to pay the bills not to live out my passion and even though I work hard lately I realize it’s not worth it.
So many reasons that even if you get what you want the demons in your life can rob you of that happiness.
I know what makes me happy and I know that even though I’m helping at the end of the day I feel used and abused and the happy moments don’t out weigh the nasty/ugly moments.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Long day!
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Image by Bikurgurl
Even though I am so tired I want to walk to walk off my frustration from this day and from this week that is almost over.
How hard can I work when I physically feel my body aching and I get sick to my stomach when I think of going back, I know this is not normal but yet I put myself through this torture everyday and week.
I thought things were getting better but, now it feels like I’m living in hell full-time and there is no benefits.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Feel
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like all the hard work I put into this space is going to fade and no one will come looking for me.
I’m here smiling and waiting with open arms to embrace someone or anyone into my life.
The space is small but welcoming and judgement is left at the door for who am I to judge you when my past and present are not pure.
I am not all innocent and have sinned and have been forgiven but, that does not mean I don’t make the same mistakes in live again.
I want to say I’m have patience and that I don’t complain a lot but that would be a lie and well I’m trying to be truthful here.
To feel like I did before when I knew and trusted that it would all work out because God knows what’s best for me.
But, the struggle is hard and the outcome is not looking that bright lately.
I’m tired and the fight in me is slowly disappearing to nothing but a cry for rest.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Quote of the day
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Journey
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Photo by Jad Limcaco on Unsplash
I don’t know how I feel about this journey I am on right now
I’m always mad and miserable no matter how I try to look on the bright side of things.
Because right now everything seems like it is out of my hand and there is not much I can control.
I want to scream and stop caring so much because even when I care nothing gets done and I’m left cleaning up a mess that wasn’t made by me.
I take the angry words being spit at me even though I didn’t cause the problem, how much longer do I wait for things to become better.
Is better things coming my way or am I cursed to live this life with no hope or light to guide my way in this place.
Outside the place that haunts me day and night, I sometimes have moments were I feel so alive and free.
But, in that place of darkness the sweet and kind me turns so salty and angry and I don’t want to make excuses but telling the truth isn’t really an option.
I count the days when my freedom will become permanent and not just temporary for two to three days.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Quote of the day
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I was
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drawn to you but for how long I ask myself today
Your smile and your laugh lights up my face all the time.
The time we have together is always what I look forward too
the most because it’s when I’m not stressed out and at my highest moment of happiness.
My smile reaches my eyes and these moments make me believe that anything is possible if I just have a little faith and believe it will all work out in the end.
Drawn to you like a magnet that I never want to pull away from.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Quote of the day
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I was
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told to give up on my pipe dreams and just live the life I have now.
That it didn’t matter that I was miserable because at least I had a job and money and that should be enough for me.
But, the truth is I could care less about the money because my body is overworked.
And my soul dies a little more each time I think of work or at work.
I sit here staring at nothing because I’m too tired to move and the things that I used to enjoy now I don’t have time to care about.
I could reach out and talk to you but, I just want quiet and soon I am all alone.
And that doesn’t bother me anymore for it’s the only time I truly feel peace and comfort.
I know I’m missing out on so much but I don’t have the fight left in me to fight to be apart of those things anymore.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Quote of the day
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Unhappy
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moments keep flooding me like unwanted calls from spammers.
I keep trying to do my best what when do I decide enough is enough.
When does my happiness outweigh my loyalty
I want to break free so bad that everyday its harder to get up and do what I don’t want to do.
I want to fight back and just stay enough is enough and I don’t feel bad if you struggle because I’ve already did all the work.
No excuses will come from me and the truth is I’m done caring and I’m done protecting you when you don’t protect me in the end.
It’s a one sided lie and I’m tired of living this way and I know you won’t understand because your cold hearted and I’ve seen your true colors and I’m done so goodbye and yes I won’t miss you at all.
You will wiped clean from my memories like a virus and I will truly smile and get through my day without wondering why your still here in the first place.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Quote of the day
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