wanted to try some where new this time for it just was getting a little to boring at the same old favorite place we go to.
I knew the moment you saw the sign you would be willing to try the place out, for you always said it was true about not judging a book or place by its cover or design.
For there could be a real Jewel inside and you would miss out if you went to somewhere more fancy and flashy, this place had real character too it and we will be back.
that things are different with you as I look into my reflection and see someone else staring back at me.
This woman has a sadness around her that I just don’t know how she could hide it so well everyday.
That smile that comes out and shines so bright that it blinds everyone so that they won’t look close enough to see the real her.
I know that she has true moments of happiness and joy and fun and she loves the life she lives.
But, she has a darkness that follows her around just waiting for her to let her guard down and it always strikes when she is the most relax and happy.
It knows that she can and will get through the struggle it throws at her but, it also knows that if she doesn’t trip over life sometimes she won’t appreciate the little things that fall into her lap.
So, I know she doesn’t see who she truly is right now but I know that soon hopefully she will see who she is supposed to be and run as hard as she can to become that woman and once accomplished.
I hope she not ever let her go for her future will be so much better and bright with her by her side.
is what we became that day when you said I love you to me and at the time I didn’t say it back but, you already knew how I felt and would say it when I was ready.
The sun seemed so bright that day as I stared into your eyes for a long time and no I wasn’t bored or tired of looking at you.
For I could have done this for the rest of my life and never got tired of looking at you.
I didn’t know that things would change a little after that day and two would become one for so much longer did I would have liked.
I didn’t know what to think as all I could think about was how two was once my favorite number and being with you was like having my favorite ice cream every day of the week and not worry about calories.
I just loved the feeling of joy that filled me to the top that often I felt so happy and I loved that feeling so much that when it was gone.
I cried for it every day and every moment that it would come back and the hole that was apart of me would close up again.
be like the sun so full of bright light all the time and things were peaceful and silly and nothing really got to me.
Then I became like daylight saving and those moments that were so bright became so much darker and the light was seen so much more less.
Yet, there I was sitting in the same spot feeling so differently as if I was a cup full of goodness and now I was an empty cup and nothing good was left of me.
I was a favorite and now I’m not something that is old and has always been around and well no more useful to you then a book for who reads anymore.
I was like Christmas when you were young and the excitement was so big that you just couldn’t contain it anymore and so you woke up so early so hoping there was something more under the tree.
Now holiday days aren’t that fun to you for well you still have to work and you just don’t have the time or energy to do much.
So when you look back at what I used to be and do for you, your were grateful for those times and now you just don’t have the same hope you once had in me.
those days when I couldn’t just laugh off all the bullshit you would spit at me.
I would think about all the ugly you said to me and how I didn’t at the time wonder what was wrong with you.
I just looked at the target on my back and thought what was wrong with me, now I know nothing was wrong with me but back then I was an easy target.
Even though I fought back for I knew this anger towards me had nothing to do with me, for your darkness was not my fault and the light that could have shined down on you was not being blocked by me.
Now if you have a problem or something to say to me, say because I may hold my peace or laugh right in your face for I know who I am and what I have and nothing you say or do will ever take my smile or laugh away.
always stood out in the crowd even though it’s not been always a good thing.
You see I’m different and I’ve always have been but the color red has always made me feel strong and confident.
I know even though I am hiding now in this photo the red draws you in and you want to know the girl behind the umbrella.
Maybe one day when I feel the world is ready to meet me again will I come out behind the things that help hide the true me.
Maybe I will one day be okay with being out in the crowd again and not worry about anything but, enjoying the time I have out in the open with a smile on my face.
Letting the sun shine down on me and hiding nothing from this world I live in today.
I waiting for as I stand in the doorway and watch the storm pouring down outside.
I know that I need to get out there and do what needs be done.
But, the rain is pouring down so hard I just don’t know if I will make it make in one piece.
Is it worth getting wet over?
I know that this rain is not going anywhere and so I think I’ll just wait it out and hope for the best.
As I close the door and go back inside I realize that waiting is my best bet at this point as I see more rain than anything else outside.
This storm is here to stay and right now I just have to respect that it’s not going anywhere and waiting it out inside won’t hurt as I did want to have a nice quiet day inside.
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