I woke up feeling great and just when I was about to get up all of a sudden this feeling of weakness took over my body.
And all the energy I thought I had just went out the window and I felt so sad and mad that I had overworked my body and now on my day off.
I couldn’t truly enjoy my day off as I lied in bed most of the day trying to rest up for I knew what life had in store for me would not be easy for me to just get up and go if I didn’t give my body the rest it needed.
So off the grid I went and even though the time I had still didn’t feel like enough I took what was given to me and made something of it.
Because, soon I was quickly back on a pose I didn’t want but I had to accept and move forward with a smile on my face.
I was so used to faking it that I didn’t know how to turnoff the smile when I didn’t truly mean to show it.
He was determined to get his way and yet I wasn’t having that
I stood there as he spoke his lies and sounded all type of crazy.
Not reacting to the haste and untruthful words he wanted to say because he felt he has the right to try to belittle me.
I stood there doing what needed to be done and stared into his eyes as he continued to go on and on.
No react from me for I Just don’t have time for those who are stubborn in their ways and choose not to listen or decide today at this very moment is the time to act a fool.
To be haste does not get you anywhere and I’ve learned trying to talk these people off a cliff never seems to work for all you do is fuel them up.
So they can attack again and again until in their mind and eyes they have broken you and no one is about to break my spirit because, they choose to be ignorant.
Like branches everything in my life that once seemed to matter has broken off and fallen from my life.
At first it stun like a bee but, soon the loneliness was filled with new happiness and certain things that I had forgotten were coming back to me.
The new branches that grew into my life were stronger than the last and as the vines wrapped around me trying to protect me from the things that once hurt me.
I was grateful for the pain that had ended and the healing that had begun for I always knew a new beginning was coming my way.
I forget what a typical day could be like for well nothing is the same from day-to-day
everything is changing and, I can’t agree that I like it at all.
I’m stuck in a rough spot and the options are very low for me to walk away but, I’m not giving up just yet.
The one typical thing that seems to not change is my ability to write something each day even on the days that I don’t want to look at words or read them.
I somehow find the strength to let it all out and go about my day knowing that well there is nothing short of hope that things will workout.
The sound of ripping fabric was loud in my ear as you ripped your shirt to bandage up my arm from the fall I took earlier.
I said I was sorry for ruining one of your shirts but you said it was nothing for helping me was worth it.
Seeing me in pain was worst than ripping up a shirt that could be easily be replaced but I was irreplaceable in your eyes.
That day may have not started off great with me being so clumsy but, it surely ended on a good night.
As I sat on my pouch watching and listening to nature as we sipped on some hot chocolate as the wind blew all around us.
The moon was so bright and the stars were few but, we both enjoyed the sound of peace and even though we knew the quiet wouldn’t last long we enjoyed the time we had with it.
Wind so strong it knocks over everything it can tear away and now everything is a mess
You walk outside and the mess of trash cans blown from outside their homes to trash everywhere.
You look around and wonder where did your trash can went, maybe its the one over there laying on its side by a bush.
Or the one that is in the middle of the street or the one blown across the street in your neighbor’s yard.
You try to figure this all out as the wind blows and blows and place start to get even messier and you have no time to keep thinking as the wind picks up again.
You have to decide which trashcan is closer and you can save and take it home and which ones you just hope someone else takes home soon.
The wind dies down but the damage it brought has already start to do its worst and the hope that those who were affected would recover soon is still unknown to you.
Why am I doing more than I can do just to help out
when I need a hand out where is my help.
I am allow them to break me down until I am no more of who I am supposed to be.
I am now their puppet and no moves I make from this day on are truly mine.
I am breathing so they can use me and abuse me until well I’m dust and then they will sweep me away and more on to the next one.
I did this to myself and now I’m running away so fast not even they can catch me, for once I’m gone.
I will be untraceable so remember me for who I am right now because sooner than later I will be like a ghost and fade away from your memory like the memories of the moments that happen yesterday.
I sit here trying to find something good to say and all I seem to be doing is restarting everything I write out.
No that makes no sense and soon it’s erased and shared with no one and if I kept it up for long there would be no words or post out there from me.
So I pop in my headphones and I listen to something that restarts the writer block in my head and then the words just flow and everything I’ve felt or yet to feel come pouring out on the paper.
I begin to wonder will this always be the way my writing go and would I ever change it to be more organized.
Probably not for well why change something that works and keeps drawing from me the emotions I need in that moment of doubt or tiredness.
The moment when no matter how many words you want to say just can’t get out of you for your energy is all gone.
But, you just have to write something no for anyone just to get all the stress and joy out of you for tomorrow everything restarts all over again.
Tomorrow may just be the same old stuff happening or it could be something so incredible that you just can’t believe this is happening to you.
The one person who seems to be always stepping into puddles and not having a coat when it’s pouring down rain out.
You hope this restart is the one that will make border in your life more aside and let you through for you have so much more offer than the little taste you have let out into the world.
The light in your eyes dimmed down as you realized what just became your life.
The fun that you desired just wasn’t worth it to be lead to this moment that made your heart drop.
You knew you weren’t going to make it out of this situation as the same person as you entered in.
You accepted only half what this meant and the other half you used to fuel you to make the best decision in the end.
The light in you was fighting with all its might just so that you could come back and be stronger than you ever thought possible.
Maybe tomorrow will be different and things will work out but right now you realize you have to fade into the background to wait until the timing is right and step out with all the hands in your hand.
My imagination drives me to a place that is more at peace than the reality life I live in each day.
I just wish for one moment that time would stop and I can enjoy things around me and when I’ve had my fill then time can speed up again.
I just want to imagine all the things that make this world beautiful be surrounding me in this moment that changes everything for me.
Maybe one day it will come true but, for now reality is where I am and some times I close my eyes and I see the world for what it truly is and my heart and mind are at peace again.
We all came together on this cold Sunday morning to enjoy sometime together.
It had been a long week and the next week coming up was going to be even longer and there was no moment in your mind that you would be happy to enjoy these moments at all.
You were quietly waiting for the right time to speak out and let everyone know what is on your mind.
And when you did it was like nothing we had ever heard from you and we were grateful that you shared that moment with us.
This gathering would go down in the book of memories that will always stay close to my heart.
We took a picture after that moment that showed nothing but tears and smiles on our faces.
To hope that we will gather again soon and that we will always stay so close to one another.
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