Their joy was so clear and so pure and full of life.
It just made me smile too and not question why he was that happy for I just knew it was because of you.
He jumped for joy when I mentioned it was always so good to see him for he always came around in such an amazing mood.
You and him made my day as you brighten the moments that made me not want to be there just be in my own zone.
You showed me that no matter how much moments feel like they are not worth smiling about, it is so worth it too just smile and enjoy others when they come around.
my eyes and prayed everything would be alright that day.
And that the next day the stress of the day before was not still on my shoulders.
I know that I have worried about everything but the true depth of my situation is worst than I thought.
There will be a time where all I do is pray for nothing I do on my own will get me through the chaos that is happening here today and everyday after it.
The peace of knowing that you can feel what is gong on around you is great but when I pray I don’t know if everything will be okay but I trust and believe it will all workout for me.
I wonder what tomorrow will hold for me as the sun shines down on me.
I know that these days are not something I can plan and so I must have hope that I will make it to the next.
I must do what is best for me now and have hope that I will be able to continue doing great many more days.
Twenty-nine years and I feel there is so much more for me to do and I feel like in a way I am just beginning.
This moment feels like no going back to how I thought before and the feeling that is inside me is so strong that I don’t want it to disappear as my head hits the pillow tonight.
I want to keep climbing and not for selfish reasons but for more than I can understand right now.
I want to do it all and make it worth more than I am in the end for I am just a person and what I want to do will be more than remembering my name and those after me.
I am just a piece to the answer that some of you have being waiting for all this time.
my moment because of you and I don’t know what the plan I feel that is coming is.
But, I’m ready to give it all up and move forward for the life that feels like floating on air.
The life that feels like a nice breeze blowing through you air, the sun shinning down on you as you lean your head back.
The feeling when you’re so hot that when the first rain drop hits your forehead you just sigh with relief that the heat wave is over in this moment as you let the rain pour down on you.
The moment when the cold morning air is welcoming as you wake up as you walk out the door and welcome the winter in hopes spring will come soon.
You realize that the moment that you will overcome the struggle is near and you can feel it as you make big changes in your life.
You know that you are fully embracing all that you are and there is not a moment you want to forget of deny.
You are in your moment and the feeling is so amazing that words really can’t describe how good you feel as you are filled with so much love and confident that you could ever want or need.
For this is your moment and no one can take that a way from you and your mind will replay it over and over until you do better next time.
want the peace to wash over me right now as the stress takes over.
Wreaking everything around me and ripping me apart little by little each day and moment that it’s around.
I don’t want to feel as if I’m not at the top of my game but, at the same time I won’t allow myself to fall apart because of other people choices in life.
I won’t reflect on the things that you decide is not important to you because we were raised different and I feel bad when I drop the ball and let people down when there is little help to begin with.
I won’t stand by feeling sad for you when all the lies you have told catches up to you and I will not be the one handling you case either.
I will not be apart of any of it as you talk on with no responds from me and in the end I will know all my hard work paid off and what you have learned from this lesson will not be my concern.
I will not become hard because of the difficult moments I’ve faced because of others for I was and am strong enough to handle them for now.
I listen to my God who has always has my back and is not two-faced and trust I do not take for grated and one I trust with my life and will always have my back.
One day the peace I once felt will last more than two days but a lifetime and when that day comes I will truly smile and enjoy my life.
you want me to go far and just when I feel I can’t do what I used to do you tell me
your strength will come back and you will be better than before.
And don’t you doubt yourself for you are great and the moment you realize that the better.
There is no time to be wasted for while you have already wasted so much and it’s time to take that second chance and run with it my dear.
You are one with yourself if you just knock down that wall and open that curtain and let the light back inside.
You are strong and you are beautiful and your words matter more than you could ever know.
Open up and don’t hide away no matter how bad things get because this year, this moment is yours and if you keep letting them slip by I don’t know if you will ever be open enough to keep looking and believing in me.
So starting tomorrow don’t be afraid to get up and do what you know needs to be done and in the long run things will pay off and you will be strong enough to say no to the temptation that will come your way.
No time to be distracted and down, Smile and shine until you believe you can do the impossible because I will always be here pushing the way for you.
here simply wondering when things will fall back in place as everything around me seems so dark.
I wonder if a storm is coming and if it will wash away my sorrows and as it does will the joy and cheer be restored in me.
Will I gain back the strength I had or will I be stronger than before or will I know the truth to all the suffering I have faced and did I pass the test with flying colors.
Or did I let the problems become an impossible situation and gave up before I truly could shine and prove myself.
I sit down and pray to you God that I will overcome my weakness.
I know you are there and you are helping me but, I ask you now to help them as well the ones who may not ask you for help or believe in you.
So as I go I hope you know today will not be the last time we talk for I will sit and wonder some more many times hopefully not so soon again.
I don’t tend to stick out for I am not sure I’m ready for all the attention lord.
I like the peace of not being someone everyone is looking too for answers and when everything is not calm.
To be thankful that you always here for me and when I feel like too much is being pushed on me your always there to take some of the burden off of me.
Putting you first is the best thing I can do in my life for you guide the way for me and when I come to you everything seems less stressful than if I relay only on myself.
Today will be a great day because you will be by my side every step of the way and I know nothing that will or can happen is too much for us to handle together.
My mind is clear and I take this time to just enjoy the little things in life that you have blessed me with and everything else will come when the time is right.
To you I say thanks for today is possible because of you.
will come and what it holds no one will know but him, my God.
Things may look good tomorrow and all the frustration that is going on is really starting to eat at me.
I try to be strong and fight back but there is so much I have to go through that I just can’t seem to make myself come to the terms that it all going to work out.
Will tomorrow give me the comfort that I need or will it bring on more pain then I want to deal with at this time?
As tune goes by I just hope things will change because I just can’t bear to keep things the same and I just want to get rid of the memories so bad for then the dreams wouldn’t be like this and I wouldn’t be waking up so confused and unclear of why they were in my dreams.
You stand there all alone as if you have no one on your side anymore, maybe you don’t reach out anymore because those hands that used to hold you dear.
Loosen up the hold on you and you slipped into a place you never thought you would end up in.
A tunnel that you walked alone at least that’s what you felt at first, everything you thought was the right path for you left you still feeling empty and unsatisfied.
You begun to search for the answer to what it was or who it was you were missing, it turns out you were missing a big chunk of your life line.
And once you had it, you couldn’t stop praising it and some understand the love you have for your god.
Well others respect that’s what you believe but, choose to live another way and as much as you want them to live your way.
You let them live for what they choose to live for but, that does not mean you don’t pray for them any less than you do for those who believe too.
You decided that day that you found your voice again and you won’t be quite for what if just one word or poem could help someone reach out and do what they love to do or decide they are worth staying in the world.
And their light is needed just as much as yours is, this is not the end but the beginning to so much more.
The struggle is there no matter who you are but, it’s the way you handle it that will help you to survive and be happy and strong again.
to just the hope that you will guide me out of this hell
that you will help me find my way again.
For the darkness of today will not be the darkness of tomorrow
the words flowing from you mouth will not be forgotten today and tomorrow I will still ponder over them.
Holding on for your strength, your love, your protection my lord for no one can provide that for me than you.
You get me through the things that make me want to pull my hair out
You’re the one that makes me stop and think before I say something I may regret
The reason my patience isn’t as thin as it used to be, the reason my truth is out there for all eyes to see.
The reason I am always on alert mode, watching the actions of others and making sure I’m not following in their footsteps.
You’re the reason I breathe another day and wake up being grateful for the people in my life.
The reason I am as quiet as I am for my voice should only be used to cause good and not bring more bad into the world.
I know I am not perfect and that no one is and each day we all go through something and at times we want to be in their shoes for on the outside it all looks so good.
But, yet on the inside things may not be in the place you are when you are just being you, the person you know inside and out.
Shine because he wants you too not because someone else thinks or believes you are more than you are.
You know who has the answers and who doesn’t and maybe one day you will see you as he sees you.
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