Tag: Hopeless

Poetry

I never

mywords2228
Advertisements

Thought starting over would feel this way

I was off to a great start, and then I got stuck

In the mud called struggles and uncertainty, and here I still am.

I am unsure how to move forward as I sit here wanting more, but I am unsure how to get it anymore.

The drive isn’t as strong, and my life feels like living.

There’s no reason to push myself to keep learning and growing.

Even though those are things I want to do

Are there things I need to do right now?

I don’t know anymore, so my mind is running in circles, trying to figure out what I’ve been up to these last couple of years and whether I will ever make another move this year.

As the mud quickly turns into quicksand, I feel I’ll sink before I figure this out.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2023 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Do I wonder

mywords2228
Advertisements

If this how things will be

Or do I live my life and things will play out the way it’s suppose to be?

So many what if’s and what now that I’m not sure what to do next.

It’s kind of stressful trying to find my way around everything.

That a sense of giving up just creeps in and well I sometimes consider it.

But I know if I don’t at least try then what was the point of going through all of this.

Change is here and I won’t sit by and just let it walk by again and again for then I will be the reason I am not happy and that is not acceptable to me.

When this is one thing in life I can control.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyrighted ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Tired of

mywords2228
Advertisements

All the things I put myself through

Just to feel close to you.

I can’t be this way for it’s tearing who I am

Part and each day I feel sadness or I’m so mad I could just scream.

I won’t know what is going through your mind.

But I can’t just keep going on like this

For it reminds me of the past and I am not that girl anymore!

I won’t settle now and I didn’t then.

My wake up call was so much sooner this time around.

So goodbye to the moments that felt so right.

Now nothing seems alright.

Just so empty and pointless.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyrighted ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Was the one

mywords2228
Advertisements

Who wanted sleep

But now only getting hours here and there.

Falling asleep through out the day as mornings are spent tossing and turning.

So restless and feeling so hopeless with no hope insight as this is the third morning in a row.

Laying awake turning to close my eyes so hard in hope that will convince myself to fall back to sleep.

But here I am still up since waking up a little after 3am.

Tried reading and praying and yet here I am still up as a part of me begs for sleep.

Yet no relief insight as the morning comes and my responsibilities start to pile up and all I want to do is go back to sleep.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Feeling

mywords2228
Advertisements

as if I might just burst into a million pieces.

As I somehow have nowhere safe to say what needs to be said.

The words are in my head but no matter how hard I try they won’t come out.

And if they could you wouldn’t want to hear them anyways and so I guess I’ll just keep bottling it up until I have no more room to store it all.

For these are the days of my life and maybe that’s why things feel not so bright lately.

The dullness of my life is all around no matter what corner of my life I go to nothing is lighting up the way it used too.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

What am I

mywords2228
Advertisements

Waiting for as everything just goes down hill.

The frustration is strong and the demand to get it done is ridiculous.

As the anger boils up with nothing left but ashes when I’m done.

Nothing matters anymore as all I see is red and all I want is for the bullshit to end so I can walk way with a smile on my face and the termination of knowing it will not matter in the end

Tomorrow will not be worth it in the end I know I won’t be.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

How

mywords2228
Advertisements

Am I going to top what I’ve done before to

what I can do now.

It all feels like a losing battle and no matter how hard I try the fight is always a loss for me.

I can’t always make things work on my own, and I know that I need help but, the people hanging around don’t help they just watch and let me fall.

I’m tired of catching them when they let me fall all the time. I feel like a spider shooting out web to catch them in their time of needle.

But, when one needs more assistance it’s like everyone has run to the door as a fire has just broke out.

Walking around talking and having fun but not realizing that this life they have demands certain things but, they ignore those things for working hard was not something they ever took seriously.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Who truly knew her!

mywords2228
Advertisements

What to let out because it’s suffocating me if I don’t get a release soon.

Things seem so different on this side of things.

so much sadness that is so well hidden comes flooding out today.

what is there to say as she looks out the window wishing things were different.

She hides it all so well that the positivity radiating off her would makes you think she genuinely happy.

But behind closed doors she cries to herself and no one will ever know unless she lets you in.

And she won’t because that leads to disappointment and false hope that things will get better for her.

No one realizes how much of her is left and over time she will be gone and there won’t be anyone holding on to the memories of her.

She will just be gone like yesterday, the joys, the laugher, the smile, the affection and the meaning of how much she gave will not ever be known.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes