In the mud called struggles and uncertainty, and here I still am.
I am unsure how to move forward as I sit here wanting more, but I am unsure how to get it anymore.
The drive isn’t as strong, and my life feels like living.
There’s no reason to push myself to keep learning and growing.
Even though those are things I want to do
Are there things I need to do right now?
I don’t know anymore, so my mind is running in circles, trying to figure out what I’ve been up to these last couple of years and whether I will ever make another move this year.
As the mud quickly turns into quicksand, I feel I’ll sink before I figure this out.
I rather be right now than here in the darkness that swallows me whole with no exit insight.
I sit here trying to think of a way out because it feels like I’m suffocating on all that is pushing up against me.
This solution is not an answer to my situation and so I’m back at square one and it feels like I’m running out of time and air around me.
As I slowly fall down and down like black hole that you can’t see the bottom and so when will I hit the spot that tells me this is solved and over with.
Nothing to help me pull my way back up, right now it feels like a losing battle for me and as I fall I start to think about the things that have come before this moment and time.
Was there a time that I could have stopped myself from falling into this danger that just eats me alive and ends up with me being nothing in the end.
in and I see you and it’s like being hit with a brick wall
these emotions of sadness wash over me like.
Someone close to me is gone and I can’t seem to figure out
what is going on and so I quickly disappear inside.
As I let myself fade into the background and this other side of me takes over
and I feel like I’m floating above myself, watching what is happening but I can’t stop anything.
The feeling doesn’t go away and I don’t seem to be able to slam back into myself again, will anyone notice I’m not me this bubble of light and giggles.
Even though the other side of me smiles it never reaching her eyes and, the laugh isn’t quite right for it’s not music to your ears.
The things about me that you look forward too doesn’t sound like they used to but you can’t quite put your finger on why I sound different.
But all I can do is hope you will realize in time and save me from this person who is like a shadow of who I am.
I am the light and without that light shining bright inside me or reaching out to you, things begin to not be the same and the once room full of joy is only half full.
Not enough to satisfy you or me or everyone else who cares and is tied to me and you, will time run out before we meet again.
For the darkness always needs a little light of hope in it, and that hope of light is me so what are you waiting for.
Where were you when I needed your support? There isn’t a day that goes by that the sadness that is now occupying the space that used to be the joy you bring. They say it’s hard to kick an addiction or to do something like depression on your own. But, what do you do when the people who were your support team is gone. Not a phone call or email returned. How long are you to wait for them to care again? Yea we all have lives to live but when is it okay to stop caring for one either. When do we wonder if they are okay or when do we notice they are different from before. Or that’s strange she doesn’t usually reach out to me so many times in one week. When did becoming an adult meant we left people behind. Yea it can be true that some friendships don’t make it pass seven years or some don’t need to communicate so often. But, when one reaches out can’t you at least reach back even if it’s days or weeks later. At least they will know you tried!
![A logo for a platform dedicated to poetry, fantasy literature, and positive quotes [with a whimsical and magical vibe] [that evokes a sense of wonder and creativity].](https://i0.wp.com/wordsareallihavesite.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/img-o9ntBbkS6xFbbvd6AN0X0yTr.png?fit=1024%2C1024&ssl=1)
