Tag: Overwhelmed

Poetry

Look at me

mywords2228
Advertisements
Photographer unknown

I’m standing here, but I barely hold it together.

And I know that’s not okay, and I’m struggling, but I won’t give up. I will get this done, and I will be successful.

I am struggling to be present in a life that is so much a rollercoaster, and I keep wanting to get off.

But then something good comes along, and I keep hoping this isn’t just a one-time thing.

Sometimes, it’s not, but other times, it feels like others see my blessing coming my way, but I am in my way.

I also want to jump to the side, but that feels unclear, and I don’t know if I’m ready.

So here I stand, trying to hold on and let go simultaneously.

I know I will lose a battle soon, and I am trying to let go so that I can grow and smile again.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2024 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

No more

mywords2228
Advertisements
Photo by Vie Studio: https://www.pexels.com/photo/the-phrase-no-more-fear-on-a-sheet-of-fabric-7005329/

Fear is what I tell myself as I prepare to go live in my Facebook group to promote my journey as a confidence coach on April 24 at 11 am. Hopefully, a good Wednesday it will be.

But the truth is I’m shaking with fear because the fear of public speaking is strong.

And even though I’m preparing and trying not to freak I’m only human.

But I got through the words I wanted to say and had to keep breathing slowly through my nose to calm myself down.

I know I can’t give up and not show up, for this is what I’m meant to do. Use my voice any way god needs me to.

And yes, it’s hard to get out of my comfort zone, but I’ve done it before I can do it again.

No more fear as I sit behind a screen, ready to spread my winds and words for the first time in a long time. I’m doing something new, not just for me but for the women watching and seeing the replay.

I’m calm now, and I hope this change will be a stepping stone to continue conquering each journey that God has come my way.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2024 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

So much

mywords2228
Advertisements
Photo by Michaela S.: https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-cup-of-coffee-sits-on-a-tray-next-to-a-book-20602820/

To do but where do I start?

Well, maybe getting out of bed would be a good start

Then maybe taking a walk and then eating breakfast

Ahh, now I’m doing it

But what next

For I don’t feel like doing it all now that I’m fed, maybe I’ll go back to bed.

And cuddle up in the sheets and watch a movie instead.

I know I have so much I could be doing, but why am I stressing so hard when my body says rest instead?

Oh, how the hype of getting ahead is intense, but sometimes I wonder why I can’t just be satisfied with what I already have instead of trying to be more.

But the truth is it’s not me who is in control, and sometimes I want to disobey for living in my comfort zone feels right to me.

Even though I know if I don’t do something, I know I will regret it for you see I’m meant for so much more.

But sometimes, the need to continue to juggle it all is well becoming like a second job, and maybe I don’t realize that is what I signed up for, and now the time I have to relax and so much less, but I’m alive and so why am I still complaining.

Instead, I should be doing what I signed up for in the first place, and when it’s all said and done, maybe then I can tell if it was worth it.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2024 By Deirdre Stokes

confidence coaching tips/opinions, Poetry

As the feeling

mywords2228
Advertisements

Of self-doubt and uncertainty wash over me, I fear the unknown.

Like the raging wind outside, I feel all the confidence and faith of being ready in time ripped out of me.

And I want to give up and throw in the towel as the fear of being in the spotlight overpowers me.

Then God wrapped his arms around me, and I felt peace again, and hope soared through me.

And I remember what my life coach said: self-doubt is the devil, and I feel it is trying to discourage me from becoming a better me.

But also, I’m not becoming a coach for me but to help others because that’s all I’ve done and love to do.

So, as I sit here confident that I can do this and know how it feels to lack confident in myself and my voice and it suckes.

But I also know how beautiful it is to have confidence in myself and my voice and how it feels to have something to say and say it.

I want to help women be confident and find their voice because doing something different is scary on your own, but doing it with someone else feels unstoppable and alive.

For the walls that come down and the ear that listens will care, and in that moment of change, maybe you too will hear your calling or at least feel that hiding isn’t something you need to do anymore.

So I hope you all have a blessed night and I know whatever happens on March 8th with me coaching someone or not, it’s not the end, but I hope that I won’t lose faith but hold strong because my journey maybe bumpy and first I know it will smooth it’s self out eventually.🙏🏽❤️🙌🏽

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2024 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Change its

mywords2228
Advertisements

Real and it’s coming at me full force

And I know I have to embrace it because I want it.

But resistance and fear are real, too, and they all want my attention.

I’m trying to stay afloat as I sail for my goals, and I’m trying to listen to the voice that says it’s time for you to stand up and stand out because you can’t afford to hide anymore.

For I’m needed, and even though some say to play it safe, that luxury was okay for the old me; the new me can’t stand it.

So here I am, trying to be on top, yet I feel like I’m standing behind a curtain, and they’re calling me on stage, but I can’t seem to come out.

But at the same time, I feel myself growing stronger with the need to go on that stage and say what I have to say from the heart.

But today isn’t that day, but maybe tomorrow or the next day. I know I will get up there soon enough.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2024 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

If I’m being honest

mywords2228
Advertisements

I’m still fighting to be a better me, but I’m letting God take most of the load.

As I sit in peace and slowly smile again, my life begins to fall back to the ground in one piece again.

For the last couple of days, I felt like I was an ocean apart from my thoughts and feelings.

And I had to stop and pray and reflect and pray more.

When it was all said and done, I felt not alone and wrapped in God’s love and presence.

And no doubt or desperation was eating at my soul.

I knew what I needed to do, and in that moment, was to trust my Savior and see this month of October would be a good one full of hope and growth.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2023 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I never

mywords2228
Advertisements

Thought starting over would feel this way

I was off to a great start, and then I got stuck

In the mud called struggles and uncertainty, and here I still am.

I am unsure how to move forward as I sit here wanting more, but I am unsure how to get it anymore.

The drive isn’t as strong, and my life feels like living.

There’s no reason to push myself to keep learning and growing.

Even though those are things I want to do

Are there things I need to do right now?

I don’t know anymore, so my mind is running in circles, trying to figure out what I’ve been up to these last couple of years and whether I will ever make another move this year.

As the mud quickly turns into quicksand, I feel I’ll sink before I figure this out.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2023 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Like the

mywords2228
Advertisements

Moon, sometimes I hide behind things in hopes of being unseen.

But sometimes, being something or someone different makes you stand out even when all you want to do is hide.

Too much attention can become too many demands, and expectations may lead to procrastination.

As you can’t keep up with being all or nothing and feeling like you failed sucks, you are looked at as something great, but you feel less than fabulous all the time.

And the expectations that you want for yourself are now impossible to contain, and your dream is gone like the moon on a cloudy day.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes Copyrighted ©️ 2022 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I quite

mywords2228
Advertisements

Wish I could escape from this place and that they would forget me.

I know I’m nice and good at what I do but there comes a moment in my life when I just can’t do it anymore.

I feel myself slipping and even as the new year as arrive it is the same things still coming my way.

I may be happy and excited outside of this place but as they keep knocking at my walls of protection.

I feel the slipping down and the so called support for me is no where to be seen at this point.

And so I say forget it and move on for I know it’s not worth complaining about because it’s like talking to a brick wall who can’t seem to help himself at this point.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

The gaping

mywords2228
Advertisements

Holes in my life just seem to becoming bigger and bigger until there is no safe place for me to stand.

For one wrong step will send you down a hole and what is inside is an answer I don’t even know.

So much light is around but the path to getting out is not even more than a line.

To cross will not be easy but I know I can’t stay on this side anymore.

Because if I do the only thing full of darkness won’t be just the holes around me.

For I won’t be myself and everything everyone sees in me will not matter or be true anymore.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

The Colors

mywords2228
Advertisements

Of my life have me feeling so unsettled about everything.

I’m working too hard for nothing but my own pain and sorrow.

So tired are the bones in my body that they ache now and tomorrow.

The work is not done now but, will continue tomorrow, and that’s why I’m not looking forward to what will be waiting for me.

I’m broken and tired and yet I have no  care in the world.

I’m snapping and feeling more on the edge as the day goes by.

Then there is a break and the colors of my life change to calm and relax.

And I finally feel like myself and the overwhelming feeling of stress goes away leaving me feeling better and peaceful.

I lay back and soak up all this good energy and hope like hell it keeps me safe until the colors of my life hit the line of panic in  full force next time.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

You

mywords2228
Advertisements

had so much to look forward too and maybe you had it all planned out.

But, the day you prepared to walk across that stage felt like the day you had been waiting for.

You were excited and just extreme ready for this day to hurry up for you were just so ready to get it over with.

Soon it ended and the next day was a new journey for you and one that would go in a direction you never thought it would.

The struggle that became your life was overwhelming and not ending anytime soon.

You tried it all to just keep yourself together during this difficult and dark time, It was long and then the light truly shined down on you and things started to look up for you.

But, you became so busy that the little things in life seem not to be as important to you or you just didn’t have the time to enjoy them.

You wanted so bad to just have a moment of peace because you were tired of it all and no matter the little time you got off the state of your mind and body and soul were already ruined and damaged.

You still try to fix the damage that has been done because you just want to be at peace again and to just feel happy for more than two days at a time.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I just

mywords2228
Advertisements

don’t know what to say anymore as the darkness swallows me whole on this Friday night.

The cold air sucks me in and no matter how much I try to find some warmth the result is not good.

I’m drowning in a frozen lake with nothing to hang onto  as I slowly sink into the water so cold, but in the end I don’t feel the cold anymore  as my last breath seems to go out.

And, then like a miracle a hand reaches into the water and saves me

and I no longer feel like there is no saving me this time.

The long day turns into an even longer night and I just want to forget about the things that I don’t have anymore.

I don’t want to feel sad about the people or things no longer around and just embrace the challenge ahead.

I realized maybe I’m ghost to most but I’m light to others and as I try to continue to shine bright.

At times my light dims out and needs time to recharge  as I shut down the things that bothered me before.

I try to face it all but this battle can’t be fought alone and so I take your hand and I hear you voice.

And I let you lead me to the saver and more stable side, where all the situations seem so much more clearer.

And the people are much more understandable, The attitude is approachable and not on high alert.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I walk

mywords2228
Advertisements

in and I see you and it’s like being hit with a brick wall

these emotions of sadness wash over me like.

Someone close to me is gone and I can’t seem to figure out

what is going on and so I quickly disappear inside.

As I let myself fade into the background and this other side of me takes over

and I feel like I’m floating above myself, watching what is happening but I can’t stop anything.

The feeling doesn’t go away and I don’t seem to be able to slam back into myself again, will anyone notice I’m not me this bubble of light and giggles.

Even though the other side of me smiles it never reaching her eyes and, the laugh isn’t quite right for it’s not music to your ears.

The things about me that you look forward too doesn’t sound like they used to but you can’t quite put your finger on why I sound different.

But all I can do is hope you will realize in time and save me from this person who is like a shadow of who I am.

I am the light and without that light shining bright inside me or reaching out to you, things begin to not be the same and the once room full of joy is only half full.

Not enough to satisfy you or me or everyone else who cares and is tied to me and you, will time run out before we meet again.

For the darkness always needs a little light of hope in it, and that hope of light is me so what are you waiting for.

Come find me and bring me home again!

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Where’s my support team at!

mywords2228
Advertisements

Where were you when I needed your support?
There isn’t a day that goes by that the sadness that is now occupying the space that used to be the joy you bring.
They say it’s hard to kick an addiction or to do something like depression on your own.
But, what do you do when the people who were your support team is gone.
Not a phone call or email returned.
How long are you to wait for them to care again?
Yea we all have lives to live but when is it okay to stop caring for one either.
When do we wonder if they are okay or when do we notice they are different from before.
Or that’s strange she doesn’t usually reach out to me so many times in one week.
When did becoming an adult meant we left people behind.
Yea it can be true that some friendships don’t make it pass seven years or some don’t need to communicate so often.
But, when one reaches out can’t you at least reach back even if it’s days or weeks later.
At least they will know you tried!

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes