Tag: music

Poetry

Missing

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from the action and for the first time I can say you were missed

your absent is noticeable and I thought that maybe I wouldn’t care but I do.

The time is coming fast and the past and the present are about to collide and I don’t know how I feel about that.

I don’t want the fun to end but, now I realize it will and then things will be more real than I want it to be.

I don’t want to live in this truth right now and well right now I want to fade away and for it to all have been a dream.

For reality really doesn’t have that many great moments when you see too many idiots and feel like you are less important and in reality we all the same going through good moments and bad moments.

My heart used to be so warm and inviting and now it’s just cold and guarded and my eyes used to hold some joy but, now all you see is nothing for that is what I’ve come to you.

A robot that is there to serve you and tell you what you like to hear and if I don’t I better prepare myself for the war you are about to bring me.

But, what I’ve learned and always knew is when your ugly the worst things happen to you and when you are nice the same shit can happen too you too.

But, the nasty things that come out your mouth are not forgotten just because it is tomorrow and what you said lived in yesterday.

For I forgive but I don’t forget and will hold you accountable for your actions and in the end did you want this little misunderstanding being the reason you don’t get where you want to be in life.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

HOW

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can I feel like saying goodbye when I don’t want to say anything at all.

The words that you deserve to hear are all locked up inside of me and no matter how hard I fight to say the things you need to hear.

The words just won’t come and maybe there is something wrong with me but, I seem to have lost my voice.

And so I sit here writing it all out and well I don’t want you to feel like I  taking the coward way out.

But, every time I try to talk to you the words just get stuck in my mouth that I just nod and move on.

Every step I take to give you this letter feels like I’m walking through concrete and soon I will get stuck with no way out.

The solution seems so simple but now it has become so complicated that there just really isn’t enough time to stop and walk away from the mess I’ve made.

So here I go leaving it on your desk as I walk away and I don’t look back but, I hear you tearing it apart and I speed up my steps and then I walk so fast out there door.

I’m running down the stairs as I head to my car trying to get out of this place as fast as I got in it.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

 

Poetry

Holding on

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to just the hope that you will guide me out of this hell

that you will help me find my way again.

For the darkness of today will not be the darkness of tomorrow

the words flowing from you mouth will not be forgotten today and tomorrow I will still ponder over them.

Holding on for your strength, your love, your protection my lord for no one can provide that for me than you.

You get me through the things that make me want to pull my hair out

You’re the one that makes me stop and think before I say something I may regret

The reason my patience isn’t as thin as it used to be, the reason my truth is out there for all eyes to see.

The reason I am always on alert mode, watching the actions of others and making sure I’m not following in their footsteps.

You’re the reason I breathe another day and wake up being grateful for the people in my life.

The reason I am as quiet as I am for my voice should only be used to cause good and not bring more bad into the world.

I know I am not perfect and that no one is and each day we all go through something and at times we want to be in their shoes for on the outside it all looks so good.

But, yet on the inside things may not be in the place you are when you are just being you, the person you know inside and out.

Shine because he wants you too not because someone else thinks or believes you are more than you are.

You know who has the answers and who doesn’t and maybe one day you will see you as he sees you.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I’ve said

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my peace and now it’s time for you to let me go. 

The memories float away from me as the years pass. 

And, yes from time to time something flashes through my mind but I don’t miss you anymore. 

So I walk away from the things that remind me of the things no longer in my life. 

Sometimes when it’s been one of those days I catch myself thinking about how I miss you. 

But, I know the reason your no longer apart of my life and I’ve accepted that truth a longtime ago. 

The things that I thought were important and would last forever was quickly smashed that night. 

So many pieces that I had to clean up and forget about for today is the present. 

Holding on to too much would drive one crazy and the hole that is barely there would be too big to bear alone. 

I cared about you and I loved you but, the peace in the long run is the fresh air I breath now. 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

In this

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place I accepted who I was and what I had become. 

I was broken but yet healed, the past was long gone but the scars felt so fresh some days. 

That it’s hard to move on even when the moments now are good. 

It’s like listening to the same song over and over again even sang by different people the meaning behind the words still haunt you to your core. 

You want to truly express who you are and what you stand for and as you continue to write every day. 

Each piece taking a little bit of you with it and you begin to feel this feeling of pride every time you finish a piece.

But, then hard times come and your words become few and you begin to wonder if what you wrote was any good.

All that you’ve loved is hard to gasp with some much darkness swallowing you up.

And, all you want to do is cry out for help but there is no one who will hear your call.

All that you’ve accepted and loved is lost with you now.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

850 ways to tell you I care

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Three Line Tales, Week 101

photo by Gemma Evans via Unsplash

You’ll find full guidelines on the TLT page – here’s the tl;dr:

  • Write three lines inspired by the photo prompt (& give them a title if possible).
  • Link back to this post (& check the link shows up under the weekly post).
  • Tag your post with 3LineTales (so everyone can find you in the Reader).
  • Read and comment on other TLT participants’ lines.

 

I know that our time together today is not enough time for me to tell you all the 850 ways you have made my life so much better. 

But, I know that I can tell you what’s going on and how I feel and slowly more facts will come and how I feel will follow and soon things will be a little less tense. 

So far I’ve told you 50 things and I hope I have the energy and time to tell you the other 850 reasons you’re a good man and friend too. 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

850 ways to tell you I care

 

Poetry

Can you feel

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the feeling of the music pouring all over me and my once tired body

is moving and awake like it hasn’t been interrupted the last couple of days

from the noise of rude neighbors.

Can you feel the world just being so much brighter now than before when all you wanted to do was lay in bed and fall back to sleep and not care if you wasted the whole day away.

You tried so hard to block out the noise and at last it worked but the hours that you had missed out on really took a toll on your body.

But, as the day goes on you have so much more energy than you had before and you feel like you can do so much.

You can feel your life taking back control of the things that are bothering you and you start to do the things you used to do again.

You feel alive and refreshed and hopeful as the music beats to everything going on in your life or things that don’t but you believe and trust it will all workout.

So for a little while you forget all the things that have been bugging you for so long, and you feel lighter when the song is over and the next one is just as strong.

You walk away with a smile on your face and all the things that had pissed you off now don’t seem that big of a deal.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Doing what I love to do

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100 Word Wednesday: Week 34

Don Naman Photography 2017

As my fingers pluck the right strings on my favorite guitar and I begin to play and sing for the crowd.

I know that I’m in the right place at the right time and this show is going to be another great night for me.

As I get into the show and I become even more worked up by the energy the crowd is giving me as they sing along to my songs.

I have flashbacks to the moments when the crowd was so small and most of my guest were family and friends and a couple of drunks dancing along in the background.

I know now with a crowd going all way around the corner and that way before the show starts, I just can’t imagine what it looks like when it gets closer to when the doors open.

But, I love what I do and I won’t trade it in for anything in the world.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Doing what I love to do!

Poetry

Fire

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It first starts in my throat and I feel like my breath was just taken from me and then it begins to grow into my stomach until I curled up in so much pain.
That it just doesn’t seem possible for one person to be able to handle all of t his at once without passing out.
I reach out for a bottle of water to quench my thirst to put out the fire in my throat for I’ve seen better days.
I try so hard to feel better so that I can get back to feeling secure in the body that carries me through it all.
I fight for my sanity as my head begins to spin but yet I can’t give up for they are counting on me even though I’m barely holding on myself.
Some how I get through it all just to crash and burn the next day and then back to being okay the next.
There is a war going on inside of my body and I don’t think that I’m winning right now but the battle is not over yet.
I’m not fully myself yet but I’m fighting with all I got to get back to the me  that was strong and dependable no matter what was thrown my way.
 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

When will

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it end sooner or later

will I even know when the days start to seem different

like shorter because I’m sleeping more.

Or will it all seem longer as I read more and get lost in what’s in front of me and not in everything  going on around me as it all just fades away.

And I’m all alone before I know what happened and maybe at first it will be sad but

over time it will just become my new normal and maybe over time I will accept that and move on.

Will I know when the time will come or will it just happen and I just happen to wake up one day and know everything is different.

And I feel different and only a few things make me feel connected to this world but all the worldly things just don’t do it for me anymore.

I just don’t feel that desire to crave the things that everyone else is looking forward too and then I wonder what I am I looking forward too.

When will I know this is it and there is nothing to go back too and I don’t feel sad about the things that I’ve left behind and the things that left me behind.

I’ll finally be at a place in my life where all that I thought I needed was never  mine and all that I have now is all that I ever needed.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Daily Prompt: Loop

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Sometimes I get lost in a loop of a song

and I just can’t seem to break away from listening to it over and over.

The song just plays on and on and every time the words bring a new message to me

and I lose myself over and over again.

Until some other song comes out and I just love that new song and the loop is broken

until the next song and song after that.

I enjoy these loops and keep playing them until the next time I hear something new that needs to be my new loop of music for the week or month.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Daily Prompt: Loop

Poetry

Life

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is not simple and sometimes

there are days when it seems so good and I just want to smile and thank the lord.

That today is a little easier for me and those around me.

For the stress has yet to become too much and that all you want to do is relax and not be so out of your mind.

You’re functioning but you are moving with the motion and you are not letting it get to you.

You become a brick wall and hope that nothing can knock you down for you don’t want to let the ugly of the world into your safe place.

You want to be yourself and not change because of the difficult things going on around you and with you.

You smile not because things will get better but because you believe and trust that it will all workout.

And so you try to focus on the simple and joyful things that come into your life and not worry about the other things that are out of your control.

For even though life is not simple, you like the moments when everything almost seems perfect and on its way to something greater.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

 

 

 

Poetry

The

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truth wants to leak out of me

so bad.

And, just for a second so that I don’t have to keep thinking about

this.

The truth would be best said now than later but would you

listen or ignore me.

So as the words fall from my lips

did you hear it all?

Or did you hear pieces of it and now

I don’t feel better about it I just feel like I’m losing it

all over again.

The days seem to be going by so much longer than normal

and I’m growing more tired than before.

I just need a moment to lay down and rest my eyes and maybe than

I will be able to tell you it all over again .

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

 

Poetry

Your

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voice is such a unique sound  that the moment you open

your mouth to talk or sing.

It’s like hearing angels above singing praise to something

so great and wonderful.

Your blessing that not even you seem to realize on days when you are

down and nothing seems to chill you up.

But, with those little precious eyes she asks her daddy to sing her a song

and you smile and sing with all your heart.

And, in that moment I see you truly alive and  you begin to believe in yourself again.

For you know now that you’re not just fighting your demons for yourself anymore but also for you little angel.

Who looks up to you and you don’t want to disappoint her so early in life or at all.

So you fight like you never fought before and I see the man I fall in love with again and my hope that this time you will stay strong.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I just

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got these feelings and no amount of time away

is going to make them stop growing.

A lifetime of feelings for people who may not

care anymore.

For those who don’t know that I ever existed for

I’m just another person walking in the crowd

Another mouth to feed.

Another life to save with words or with God

To do better for me or for you.

To put him before you and anyone else

To tell you that you are not a priority in my life.

To live life knowing what is going to happen or to

wonder what possibly could happen next and that it can’t out do what just happened.

So many emotions playing out as I listen to this song, relatable to my life right now or how can someone go through that.

It would be so painful and confusing and hopeless in the end.

But, they went through it just to get to the other side of their life

and to see the world they love in another point of view.

The future I thought, u thought was going to be it for me or for you

is not the one we are destined to live out.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes