Tag: friendship

Poetry

Daily Prompt: Faint

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The voices of the people I thought would stay in my life

for a long time became faint as I walk away that day.

I didn’t remember what they said to me but my heart still feels a little empty

from the piece of me they took that night.

They didn’t even see me walk away or even cared if I had showed up

but the words they said just hit me so hard I felt pieces of my heart fall away and the pain was so much I almost fainted.

But, some how I got the strength to turn around and walk out that door and go to a place that ended up saving me from not recover from that pain.

There had always been someone there for me that didn’t like the other people I hung out with but respected that I like them but, always warned me that one day things would come clear to me.

And the first thing you did that night wasn’t tell me you told me so but, that you would do anything to take this pain away and that trying to get revenge wasn’t worth it for karma always comes back around.

My heart is fully healed now and you are still by my side not only protecting me but the family we built together and maybe one day our kids will have a friend who stands up for them like you did for me that day.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Daily Prompt: Faint

Poetry

Daily Prompt: Express

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Please express how you feel before I walk out that door

I’ve waited for so long trying to have patience because I wanted to give you space.

But, in the end it didn’t even work out because now I just can’t stand by and have you sometimes show me how you feel and other times play it off like we’re just friends.

I don’t want to seem like the one making stuff up but, I’m not the only one seeing you this way.

So I’m putting my foot down and I’m letting you know how I feel and if you don’t want to share with me tonight.

Then lets just leave what happened before in the past and lets just be friends and that be the end of it.

For I don’t play games with those I care about and mean something to me.

Today may be the last time you get to see a certain side of me but, you had your chance and once I walk out that door the wall is back up and everything you saw before will be gone.

But, tomorrow I promise you that I will be your friend but, you need to now give me the time to get over what you’ve done.

And, when I come back don’t try to win me back as more than your friend for you’ve had your time and I won’t be made a fool twice.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Daily Prompt: Express

Poetry

Realizing it’s not over yet

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100 Word Wednesday: Week 33

Image credit: Bikurgurl, 2017

Capturing all the moments spent with my friends these last couple of days  has me thinking about how much I’ve missed from their lives.

Because I was trying so hard to keep my own life together and now that I’m with them I can’t imangine what my life would be like now if I hadn’t reached out a couple of months ago and planned this trip for us to take.

Would we have talked anytime sooner or would I continue to live my life regreting that I had pushed them all away for I just needed a moment to be worthy of them again.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Realizing it’s not over yet

Poetry

Friendship

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Our friendship is something I look forward to

the talks we share are so great and the time invested  into this friendship

is the reason it hasn’t fallen apart like the rest.

I don’t take you for granted and I care about the things that are going on with you rather they are small or large.

I have your back even when you just want to be alone and just want to do everything on your own.

I tell you to not go down the same path I went for some times I feel so hollow inside and time has not yet healed those wounds of my mistakes.

You are my fresh air when life just feels like I can’t breathe anymore, you are the strength I lean on when the world’s ugliness is just too much for me to handle.

You are my light when the darkness is all I see in my life and every where I go.

You are my antidote to the poison of this world that tries to bring me down now and then.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Friendship!

Poetry

I could

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never just hide behind my words when it came to you

it’s like you knew the truth before I tried to cover up the things going on with me inside.

You never seem to let me doubt myself for too long

you always wanted me to believe that I was better than I felt I was.

That one day I would become the man you hoped and believed I would be

and even though things were changing you were still around.

But, now your going through so much and I don’t know where to start

to help you get through it all.

But, I won’t give up on you even though you are pushing and pulling me in so many directions.

I know that you care and I know that I care for you and in the end this friendship will just grow stronger.

There is no ending for us right now and I needed you to know that as you fall farther away from me.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Maybe I

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want to say more to you but the words just won’t come

and so I find anything to just distract me until I fall asleep.

And talking to you is forgotten and I wake up with so many

things to do that I just don’t play attention to the things that I can’t find the words to express.

I don’t know when it happened but it did and I know that no matter how much

time will go by that there is no going back and things will never be the same and that’s

something I have to live with and maybe one day you will read this but for now it’s what it is.

Where this will end is unclear but, I know that I am not the women I used to be and you have to accept that now because later will be too late anyways for me.

 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

I didn’t

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mean to let you down and the look on your face

didn’t lift me up but dragged me down even more.

I knew those last words would not solve anything for me or for you and yet

I couldn’t walk away without saying them and even though they did me no good

and all they ended up doing was backing you angry and hurt at the same time .

I should be a shamed and I should really start to think before I open my mouth but, sometimes old habits are hard to break and it’s not like I have not tried.

I have and now I’m just tired of fighting the issues I have for some flaws just don’t go away with time.

I didn’t mean to hurt you and I didn’t mean to change your view on me that day but who I was is not who I am now.

And maybe I’m more harsh than you remember but, sometimes when life throws it all at you there is no going back to what you were before.

This body, this soul is not without scars and memories that are not all great and the struggle is there.

But, day after day I fight to get back to you to them to everyone who matters and to slowly let the rocks that hurt you all and keep you out.

I’ll find a way to get them all to crumble into dust but for now just trust me when I say I still care and that one day I will be back and I will give more than just my words to you and those that I love and care about.

Because, I owe you so much and when this is all said and done things will be as perfect as they can be and  the imperfect moments will be worth it.

I promise you.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Surrounded

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Week 68 of Three Line Tales.

Write three lines inspired by the photo prompt (& give them a title if possible).

  • Link back to this post (& check the link shows up under the weekly post).
  • Tag your post with 3LineTales (so everyone can find you in the Reader).

 

photo by Faustin Tuyambaze via Unsplash

Surrounded by everyone and feeling so excited that this journey is over, yet the feeling of saddest washes over me as we all walk off  the stage.

And take our seats again, the thought that I don’t get to spend most of my day with these people, my friends is coming to an end and as much as I wish we would stay connected.

The reality is it’s been years since that day and I only talk to some of you once in a blue moon and it’s sad but I’m living my life and so are you and I’m just glad for the memories.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Surrounded

Poetry

Only

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I can see the change in myself.

Everyone else sees nothing

questions nothing

Worries about everything but the issue around me.

So much going on no one to tell

and that’s okay for I only have just one thing to tell

and the fact is you won’t be the one to hear it.

Maybe no one will hear it

and it will just disappear with me.

As I become something new and the old me

will be forgotten and all the memories will be gone too.

Only if you just took a moment and open your eyes, your mind, and your ears

and listen to what I have to say.

I’ll leave it all on a voice mail and I know you won’t listen to it until it’s too late

for the number you have reached has been disconnected.

And everywhere you look there will be no trace of me the girl you used to know

the one who was there but you always looked past for there were others that seem to

take in everything better than her.

She waited and waited and finally knew there really was nothing to hold on to anymore

and just like that you decide it’s time to come back.

But, this time she is gone not even a crumble of food to trace her with.

No finger prints left on any of the furniture left behind

it’s like she vanished but really she was erased from your life

the memories of her slowly fade from your mind.

Until one day when you hear the sound of a girls voice and your ears puck up and, you swear it’s her that you hear.

But, when your head turns and your eyes land on the girl, it’s not her and the empty place in your heart that you thought closed up for good.

Just rips right open and pain hits you, like a knife to the heart

you feel like your can’t breath and your life is slowing pouring out of you.

As you slowly take a breath you realize for the first time what you truly lost that day

so long ago.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Holding

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back as I write this letter to you.

I pace myself as I really want to tell you everything going on

but, I just can’t for things aren’t the same anymore.

The minute I started to write you the energy inside me was off

and my guard went up.

And, I don’t know if things will get better between us as things just seem

so off and maybe it’s just because everything is slowly taking a new direction.

And that only time will tell if things will be almost the same or so different, I wish

I could just say the words I need to say to you but instead I bit my tongue and write you

the simple things in my  life.

 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Every

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time the day wines down and it’s time to lay my head on my pillow

you pop into my mind and so much peace just falls over me.

Your more important to me then you will ever know and I don’t know

if you ever found out would you understand.

Or would you take it the wrong way and would things turn

so awkward.

I don’t want to lose you so I keep a lot to  myself just to keep the peace between us

for I don’t want to fight with you anymore.

I just want to spend the time I have left with you on a good note for I’m not promised tomorrow and so I Just want this moment I have with you to be amazing.

So when I’m gone that memory would be so strong that even when you think you have forgotten it comes back so strong that you think it happened just yesterday.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Poetry

I know

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I can’t be too sad when I dugged my own grave

With the careless words that I said that day.

Maybe, just for a moment I lost my mind but it doesn’t matter

I shouldn’t have let my emotions get the best of me.

The night was already dark and then there I go saying all

Those things.

It felt like you were walking down a hallway carrying so much and there I was

Just putting one more thing into your arms and there you went to the floor.

And no I didn’t even stop to try to help you pick up the mess I just went on with

My day with no care in the world.

Smiling to all as if I was so happy and I didn’t even seem to care that you never showed up I just was so concerned about myself.

I was selfish and my caring heart was so black from just looking out for myself that I didn’t help as many as I used too.

I had become someone I wasn’t just to survive for things were not the way I wanted them to be but, I shouldn’t have taken it all out on you.

Now I will do all that I can to gain the respect and honor to be a part of your life again.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

It just

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slipped out my mouth and the results felt

like a car crash.

everything around me felt like slow motion

then the impact was so rough.

As you were thrown around by my words

cutting right into your heart.

And even though I was hurting to the look on your face

just haunts me and even though I know I was wrong.

I just can’t find the words to apologies to you right now because

I don’t know if I’m worthy of coming back into your life right now or ever.

Maybe the way I handled things was not the right way to do it but I can’t go back and take it back.

The words somewhat thought out but not yet processed the way they should have been now has me second guessing everything.

Maybe, I don’t deserve your forgiveness and maybe this will be the lesson that sticks in my mind and my heart.

And maybe I’ll finally stop making the same mistakes and just keep it to myself until I’m truly sure it’s what I want to say to you.

Because, my last words should be so true that I don’t regret a single word at the end of the day.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Poetry

Blinded

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by the feelings growing inside.

Sometimes I confused them because I care too much

and I just want to fight your battles even though I know you

can fight just fine by yourself.

It’s hard to walk away when the things that hurt you, hurt me too.

I want the best for you and I don’t stop to worry about myself for I know

God has all my worries and hope in his hand.

So I pray like crazy for things to be better for you not because I pity or feel sad for you

but because I know your strong enough to do it all on your own but, something inside of me just doesn’t want you to have to do it alone anymore.

Like a guardian angel I watch over you and listen to your thoughts as you share them and hoping one day I’ll hear about your life truly taking the turn I knew it always would.

And being so proud and happy that I’m not the only one on the right path to a life that even in the toughness times I still see the hope at the end of a very dark tunnel.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Poetry

Daily Prompt:Recognize

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I recognized you by your smile

one that haunts me in my dreams.

I thought I’d never see you again and

then there you were standing with a group of friends.

Laughing and smiling like you had no care in the world

and then as if you sensed someone watching you, you turned my way

and at first I thought you wouldn’t recognize me.

But then you smiled and you waved at me and then you turned around and said something

to your friends and then begun to walk my way and it felt like I was glued to that spot.

As you got closer all I could think of was would it feel like were strangers to one another or would we fall back into the friendliness we have always had.

And then you hugged me and I felt my body and soul relax as you recognized me and you still knew what I needed when I couldn’t even admit it to myself.

That day I found a part of myself I didn’t even know had been missing and that smile doesn’t haunt me anymore as I see it light up just for me every day now.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Daily Prompt: Recognize