are friends and yes we are different in so many ways
but the similarities are few but together we are always one.
We have our own style and our own smiles and dreams and hopes and we support one another because one day we may not be holding hands walking down the street together.
We may be living far apart but, in this moment we are happy and we are connected and we are all we need besides family and other friends.
We are not these young girls anymore and we have felt the burn of the world.
We have accepted somethings that we have experienced and have push back at things we disagree on.
We are four strong young ladies and in that moment we are smiling on the past as we move forward for the future.
last thing that I want to do is hurt you but how long can we drag this on.
I keep thinking about what I’m going to say to you but yet at the last-minute I
just close the message.
And overtime I will forget and move on and maybe I will be just too busy to worry about
how things are going for you.
I know that through social media how things are and so I keep moving forward and not worrying because you keep writing about what is going on and so I don’t bother to reach out.
I know I should try but the words that I want to say just won’t come out and even though I know they need to be said because I just can’t keep this going.
But, I feel like the guilt of knowing that I will hurt you is enough to stop me for saying what needs to be said.
But, the truth is I’m hurting too and it just keeps eating me up inside and I feel like I’m going mad if I hold it all inside any longer.
I need to let it out and be free from this and even though I so wanted to hold on to you for so much longer I just don’t see how I could or even if I want to anymore for I know the way I feel about you isn’t the same anymore.
I know that you don’t want to me to know all that is going on
and at first I was fine with that but, how much longer do I have to wait.
Because the longer I wait the more I feel less in your life and more like an outsider looking in and only granted peeks here and there.
You feel I’m being to demanding and that your life is just too complicated and it’s best to not let me get too close.
I’m not the one you want to show your vulnerable side with and yet it breaks you if I try to walk away.
But, yet again I feel like I am invading your space and well maybe that would be true if it wasn’t you who let me in to begin with.
I will always love you but, this is not healthy or right for me to keep living this way that makes me feel like I’m putting apart of my life on hold for someone who will never pull me into a world that I deserve.
One with less hurt and pain and disappointment, one that feels like two people are working to make this right and now just one person trying to knock down everything you put up to keep them out.
going to choice to let my fears go and not hold any more power over me then I have to do the things I don’t want to do.
So as I sit down and write this I know what I have to do for I know holding on to something that I hope will get better over time.
But, the truth is were at a stand still and I’m not giving it any attention or care and so today I’m just completely letting it go.
I know my emotions maybe all over the place but, I know with time this will be the best decision because holding on has done more harm than just letting go.
I embrace the feeling of being vulnerable for a little while and know that it’s okay to be sad but, it’s not okay to hold on to something that is not making the present or my possible future better.
If I’m going to walk away I’ve thought about all that I could say and what I will actually say to you and then I do it.
I saw the sadness in your eyes and realize it was in mines too but, it was time to walk away from the past and focus on my new present that felt so much lighter with the less stressful.
If only you had done something sooner but, tonight our story ends and my story of just me continues on.
just been the three of us and I’ve cherish these moments we shared together.
I know we went through those awkward moments together and came out with a friendship that is still so unbreakable.
You two were always there protecting me from the wrong guy, the wrong decision the falls I kept finding myself about to happen but always had strong arms to lift or catch me before I hurt myself .
To me you two were my hero’s, my best friends and my brothers I didn’t ask for but, appreciate so much.
I’m grateful for you two and I know as we watch sunrise this morning that there will be many more days when we just stop and enjoy these little moments together.
I adore both of you and love you with all my heart and one day we will be separated but, yet still so connected.
And one day it will be our children getting to enjoy this bond we have and hopefully they will stay close and true to each other like we did all these years.
Company makes the tiring and long days not as bad as you would think.
You know when you have the right people around that things will work out in your favor.
You start looking forward to seeing these people and even though you have to work, you start to become a family and you have each other backs.
You know that things will be okay, you understand each other and know that sometimes someone is going to be off and you are there to help out a little bit more just to make things better for them.
You do your best because you want to work hard as a team and at the end of the day, your success is their success too.
Your happy and laughter and wouldn’t trade it in for anything but, maybe a couple of days off but you know you will be missed.
again the three of us hanging out always spells for a good time.
Laughter is always loud and around when we are together even if it just for a hour and a half.
We try to meet up more but lately these have been a little busy for us all but, I know that soon things will slow down.
We love to shop together and walk around together laughing and catching up with no care in the world.
We have always had each other’s back since day one of this friendship, even with the odd number of three we always made it work and made sure no one felt left out.
They always said trouble was coming when the three of us got together and maybe sometime we cause a little damage here and there but we always fixed what we broke.
Our style is each unique and different that no matter apart of together we always commented on something we care wearing.
We accept each other flaws and know that at the end of the day we have each others back and nothing will keep us apart for long.
For we became friends at 6 years old and we because family soon after.
Our pain whether separate or together we comfort each other in person or on the phone for at the end of day we know that we don’t want to be missing the other in the reality that they are not coming back.
We spend time together like it’s our last and we know if it is we lived it to the fullest with no regrets and no opportunities left unturned.
to let this go but what more can one get from something that feels so predictable.
Nothing is fun anymore and everything just feels like it’s being stretched out to last longer.
In the hope that things will workout in the end and maybe they will but maybe they won’t.
Life just isn’t the same as it was before and maybe that’s on me but what can I say, I like to shake things up and not keep things the same.
I don’t like feeling bored or defeated and right now I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle and no matter how I feel the results are not good.
I don’t want to walk away and have to forget but what can I do now when all I see are the old times and the new times seem like I’m avoiding you and everything I know I need to say.
I don’t know how much longer I can keep avoiding this end this something so true but, no longer exist and I have to face the light and accept that somethings I’ve out grown and the sadness that was once there just isn’t anymore.
I have no time to look in the past when the present is now and the emotions surrounding me now are positive and lively.
The light outweighs the darkness more than it has ever been.
apart doesn’t seem to matter anymore as I’m drawn to you tonight.
You smile and I smile and all the things that hurt me and that hurt you are all in the past and now that time has healed those wounds.
Maybe now we can start something new and get to know each other all over again as we have both grown over the years.
Were not the kids we used to be and now talking just seems so much easier and we laugh about the things in the past that seemed like a big deal at the time.
You lean on me as I lean on you and we both realize that there was so much we had been missing out on in each other life.
We both felt like we needed more out of the life we had and just needed someone new to help us push past the borders in our life.
And move into a new space and see what life takes us outside of the box we had grown so comfortable in.
You became so much more than I thought was possible in my life and everyday I made sure I spent time with you and didn’t want to take you for granted again.
For I didn’t know if this would be my last chance with you but, I hoped that we would build a strong enough bridge to hold us together and that we would not ever have to worry about not being in each other lives.
We made plans and follow through with them and we made sure we didn’t get lost in each other.
But, that we helped each other reach a goal each day or week because we didn’t want to resent one another and we wanted to be the best at what we loved and to know that the fire that burns in both of us is still going strong.
I believe in you and you believe in me and at the end of the day we will always have each others back until the day we die.
always is worth the wait, I know we don’t talk as much anymore and I don’t know how you feel about that.
But, life is throwing so much at both of us that the time when we could probably talk just doesn’t happen for we both end up just being too tired.
So days have gone by and maybe even weeks and months and then one day it just seems like a good time to say hi and it always never seems like time has gone by.
We just pick up where we left off and talk and talk until we have nothing left to say until next time when ever that may be.
Time doesn’t really stop me from not caring and the feeling of not being there for you always doesn’t sit right with me but, I know that life is pulling us both in two different directions.
SO it’s hard to but the certain that when something big happens you are always the first to know and even over tired you always seems to make just a little bit of time seem like hours.
The memories and the moments yet to come are the things that I look forward too as this year comes to an end and a new one is yet to begin.
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