I have to let you go, this is not fair to you.
You put so much into this Friendship.
It feels so wrong to end it as you sail away, with tears quickly washing down your face.
As the boat pulls away leaving me all alone and I can no longer see you, and the sadness I gave you.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Is that so hard to ask
Can’t you see the sadness in my eyes
as I stand in front of you, do I need to wave for you to help me.
For some reason you walk right by me and I feel the pain hit me all over again.
I’m just a ghost now and still you show no emotions towards me.
I just wish it didn’t have to come to this but I can’t go back
I’m not like a movie you can’t rewind and go back and stop it before it happens
I’m gone and all I wanted was your time.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
What to let out because it’s suffocating me if I don’t get a release soon.
Things seem so different on this side of things.
so much sadness that is so well hidden comes flooding out today.
what is there to say as she looks out the window wishing things were different.
She hides it all so well that the positivity radiating off her would makes you think she genuinely happy.
But behind closed doors she cries to herself and no one will ever know unless she lets you in.
And she won’t because that leads to disappointment and false hope that things will get better for her.
No one realizes how much of her is left and over time she will be gone and there won’t be anyone holding on to the memories of her.
She will just be gone like yesterday, the joys, the laugher, the smile, the affection and the meaning of how much she gave will not ever be known.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
I don’t know what comes over me but these feelings just start to grow inside of me.
Until I can’t bare to keep them inside anymore.
And so I vomit them out into an ugly mess.
It’s not a pretty sight, but once it’s out there is no going back.
I sit here wonder why I do this to myself or why I do this to others.
My words so naïve and innocent just trying to be expressed like there the victim in the end.
No clear evidence that my words would lead to anything but a mess that would be cleaned up.
But not before you hate me and become so disgusting, I’m blocked for life.
Your mind soon forgets me for the sake of your happiness.
Written By:Deirdre Stokes
You can’t tell me things don’t feel different now.
There’s an hollow feeling inside of me now.
I wish I could shake it off like a bad dream.
But it sticks to me like glue and as I try to cut it loose.
My body starts to sink like quicksand and the harder I try the faster I sink.
Until I can’t feel anything, I’m numb to the world.
I can’t signal for help for I’m paralyzed on this spot.
Laying down on my bed, blankets wrapped around me.
Trying to hide from it all.
Written By:Deirdre Stokes
I’m the girl with the permanent sad frown on her face.
I walk and the sadness is just there on the outside and inside.
But the truth is I’m not always sad for I have a smile that is so bright you can’t help but smile back.
A sense of humor that makes you laugh and I laugh too and it’s amazing to live in that moment.
When I’m happy it hurts for that smile just won’t quit shining through out my day.
A happy high that lifts me up until I’m on top of the world, looking down.
When I’m happy the word over hyper doesn’t quite explain my over the moon happiness.
To be that happy girl and to live in that moment is not hard but sometimes.
It’s rare to get a glance of that happy girl with that sad frown is forever present.
Hiding the girl I once was and yet still am.
Oh sad girl with that sad frown won’t you smile for me today, tomorrow.
Oh who am I kidding, why don’t you just smile for me forever and ever.
Because I love your smile and when your happy so am I.
yours truly,
sad girl with a permanent frown on my face.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
My mouth opens up and it just spills out.
And I fall for my grab on my reality is gone.
I lay here on the ground wonder where it all went wrong.
I feel so cold and alone and I wish I could just get up and be strong again.
No words can describe this feeling of everything inside of me burning away.
As I try to burn you out of my system from the inside.
Where the memories of you are so strong that it hurts to go back to the times that now bring on more tears then joy.
I wish you could see me now, I’m burning so bright.
And then I explode and the feelings and memories of you slips away and then I’m being pulled back together.
To become whole again and the lost of you is not on my mind for you no longer exist to me.
Wtitten By:Deirdre Stokes
There is no escape to this dead
that overcomes my body and mind
It leaves me not wanting much.
Everything I enjoy isn’t important anymore and as I try to shake it off it just multiples.
I can’t seem to think of a solution long enough to care if this feeling goes away.
It sucks me down before I can see the light on the other side.
I try to clear my mind but of what my mind is empty, just like my insides.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
I’m stuck and I cannot move.
It’s hard for me to even write it’s like all the words that flowed through me yesterday are all gone.
I’m dried up like a well out in the middle of nowhere.
There is nothing left of me as the wind blows away the dust I have become.
You may see me blow by when the wind blows your way.
Reach out grab an handful please for I need some help to get back to where I was yesterday.
Written By:Deirdre Stokes
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